Graduation and the end of an era

We attended the final graduation ceremony of the Student yesterday. She received her post-graduate diploma in Management. She finally finished her final subject in Accounting with a distinction after she did not make it last year!

The day was filled with pride, but also with nostalgic reflection of a time that has passed very quickly!

It was the best of times!
It was a difficult time, especially in the first year of initiation!
It was a time of great friendships!
It was a time of hard work!
It was a time of play!

I am so glad that my daughter had this time in her life!

I think that is one of the greatest accomplishments for parents when their children successfully earn their qualifications to get a kick-start in life!

The friends...

 A special person...

The family...

Thanks to a Dad who had to drive the taxi when the lifts failed. He even drove one evening from a function to pick up his sick daughter to bring her back home before he went back to his work conference.

My eldest is not a Teen nor a Student anymore!
I feel like shedding a tear and shouting Hallelujah at the same time!

So proud of you!
You are my the my example of Parenting-done-right!
Well done, my girl!

Plot twist

When something goes wrong in your life
just yell
"Plot Twist!"
and move on.

I love this quote!

It is usually not about the wrong turn, but how you approach life after that!

I am writing this for the eldest.

The Student had a big disappointment yesterday. She heard she failed her accounting subject for the semester. She won't be able to do the rewrite, because we won't be here. She has known this since the beginning of the year, that she would have to pass the first time!

She has already started to make plans for next year, but now her plans have to be put on hold for a while...

She will have to get a job here in South Africa to finish the post-graduate! (She had plans to start travelling and working overseas!)

I have first-hand experience that even with the worst plot twists, I could see how it benefited me in the end!

Go with the plot twist, my Love!
I know it will be part of the adventure!

She got the Superhero Cape!

We attended the graduation ceremony of The Student yesterday! She finally got the graduation cape and the hat, and she got her few seconds to shine on the stage!

It was a proud mom-moment, because it feels like we have achieved something as well!

I know I did not do any of the hard work, or worked through the nights, or helped her with any of the studies. (Only a little bit of research some times from my side...)

But we made it possible for her to study. (Cha-ching!! and I am only starting to work back the bursary...) There were times that we said we did not know how we are going to do it, but our focus will be on the completion of the studies. She also knew there was no do-over available! This was it!

And she did it!

I am very proud of her, and so glad that she has something to show for her hard work.
The speaker spoke about the importance of time yesterday: "The importance of a year is so much more appreciated by a student who has to re-do that one year!..."

The wonderful time at university she is having now, is coming to an end at the end of the year. I hope and I know that she is making the best of it! (So glad she is enjoying it!)

It was only the other day I complained about the initiation practices, and in the meantime they have abolished most of it!
We had some pep talks along the way to keep her going, and she also learnt valuable life lessons while studying.

But here we are! She is busy with a post-graduate diploma, and busy thinking about the next stages of life already!

And we are left with the question: "How did it get here so quickly!"

Well done, my girl!
Love you!

More superhero poses can be found here: Wordless Wednesday #259 - Superhero poses #graduation 

Please pay it forward on this Monday and give these students a view

                       Millennium Lady: We made a video about Management in SA



The Student is doing a post-graduate degree in management. For one of their assignments, they had to discuss the three levels of management... (Yes, boring!)


The group with the most views on YouTube can win R10 000 in virtual money for their project due in March. So, please view their video and hopefully you find it a bit entertaining. (Spoiler alert! NO!)


But you will do your good deed for this Monday!

(And a big please from a mother who can't afford another year of varsity! The Student needs to successfully finish this!)

Final year!

The final year for The Student has arrived!

We dropped her off at university yesterday.

It looks like it is going to be a great year! She finally has a single room with more space in the residence. She is doing a post-graduate in management that seems to be very promising... She has made many friends which makes life a ball on campus...

It's the time of her life!

But it is not only a final year for her, but for me as well!
It has been tough on the budget, and I am looking forward to some sort of respite after this year of paying for the studies.

-----

She has been working at attorney's these holidays, which helps with the pocket money. She even learnt a few lessons about how to be an employee from hell! It has been a good experience!


-----

Best wishes for you, my girl!
I hope you enjoy with all your might, because it will pass in a flash!

Catch-22 of a student loan

The Student and I was at the bank this week to try to get a student loan...

What a joke! I could have said "process", but it really feels like baring your underpants, and then after the scrutiny you are left without that same said underpants!

It takes ages for the "process" to complete...
And then you don't have a guarantee they are going to approve the loan.

There were two bank employees going through all our documents, and we still did not have the "right" documents! All the university documents should have a date stamp of 2015, although The Student has a letter of approval for her post-graduate diploma. Apparently we also lacked some more documents from the university, which she would not be able to get at this time in the year...

The bank wants proof of registration from the university! Which we don't have!
(That's what we are trying to get at the bank: Registration fees!)
They will only pay the student loan as soon as the registration is done!

But: The University wants proof of payment of the registration fees!
Or else they wont register her!

A Catch-22!


We gave up on getting a student loan at the bank! It was a very degrading process!
It just does not make sense to try to get a student loan from them.

No, today I will not stand up!

The students are protesting today about change at the North West University. They are doing it under the banner of  "Sal jy opstaan?" #saljyopstaan (Will you stand up?)

I personally won't be standing up today!

As a parent I am extremely grateful that they are finally doing something at the university.

I was appalled at the initiation practices three years back when my daughter started there as a first year. I could not believe that the same initiation practices that we were subjected to in 1985 were still being practices at a higher education institution. I complained at that stage, but was told that it is not initiation! Orientation is not the same as initiation.
This was/is initiation!
I felt like we had failed our children by allowing them to be subjected to this!

Change is a difficult thing, but it is definitely needed in this case!

I wanted my daughter to study at an institution where they are focused on learning and developing a well-rounded person, but in the first year (and even after that), they were subjected to bully behaviour where they are required to conform to the norm, or being forced out of their residences.

I am also glad to hear that other changes about the language and the culture will be instituted!
You can't keep on living in a bubble!


I am glad that the next generation of students won't be subjected to this!
Thanks North West University!


I know I am not going to be popular by saying this!
But as a parent I have to!

Related posts:

- Initiation still ongoing at university

- Initiation update - as sick as a dog!

Initiation still ongoing at university

Time for the Soap Box:

Each year I hope that they would finally see the light and that they would stop with the practices of initiation at university...

But each year the previous year's first year students are allowed to go off on and bully their fellow students. They are allowed to scare their fellow students shit-less and they are allowed to take a superior stance over the junior students coming into the establishment.

I have heard that it is not as bad at certain institutions, but I have seen and heard again that it is exactly the same our  Student experienced two years ago. I felt at that stage that I had failed my daughter for sending her to this establishment.

I saw on Saturday groups of people dressed in the same clothes. It did not look enjoyable at all jumping after a ball. I heard no laughing. They were just going through the motions!

This group below was walking in groups of three's, holding hands, with seniors walking behind, with a big red emergency bag at her side. Maybe it is good that there is an emergency bag, but what it say that there is a necessity for an emergency bag?

When we walked past a group of juniors, there was this muffled greetings from each of them. Poor girls. They are forced to greet all the seniors with titles.

Yesterday evening the senior had to dress and paint their faces in ugly scary white, red and black and there was a lot of shouting and screaming. This is a tradition apparently to introduce the seniors to the juniors. The poor juniors can't even recognise the seniors with their war paint, and they are targeted when they are really tired already.

It is bullying and abuse!

It is not necessary! 

It does not say a whole lot about us as a society! 

Why can't the juniors be welcomed in a happy stress-free environment?

Why do they have to be bullied into submission?

I don't understand it! At all! 

3rd Year Student

We dropped off a third year student at Varsity this past weekend! 

Of course it feels like this time with her getting a degree is whizzing by. The 3rd and final year of the her studies. She is most probably going to continue with her studies for another year, but it has been lightning fast!

We had her for a whole three months at home, and we miss her at home. 

Little Missy cried when we had to say goodbye, and I had to wipe a few tears as well! Little Missy reminds us each day that she is missing her big sister, and that it is not nice at all that she is not here.

The Student was extremely excited to go back, and she is looking forward to another year with her fellow students. As well as a new year with studies she is fortunately still enjoying! 

She blogged that it is good to be back in her residence on campus! That makes me happy!

I am so glad that she is enjoying it and that is making the most of her time! 

We love you! 

We are proud of you!

(We miss you!)

Finals and end of the year

I am sure everybody is busy with endings and final sport days and end-of-the-year events!

It is hectic! And we have just one little one that's keeping us busy...

Little Missy had her Sport(s) Day at school on Saturday. I liked the fact that all took part, and they all got a chocolate (most important!) medal after completing 10 items.

Little Missy enjoyed the hurdles the most. She lined up for a race with the boys as well.

She also had her end of year gymnastics! It seems we will continue with it next year! She has been enjoying it. Not like the previous year where we had seen a number of melt-downs of a reluctant gymnast...

I love the end of the year! It is great to be able to look back at the year, and thinking that you have made/accomplished it!

I am also very proud of The Student who finished her second year at Varsity.
She is waiting for a final mark, but it seems she passed all her subjects!
Now the students have nearly three months of holidays!

Enjoy!

Exams and missing times

We are not seeing The Student that much these days, as she is busy with exams, and she could not join us for the most recent holiday in Umdloti.

Little Missy cries and complains almost every day about missing her sister.
"Dit vat té lank!" (It takes too long!)

She has been drawing pictures for her sister, and taken a shell and other paraphernalia as gifts to her  to put in her room.

We miss her too...

Each time we do something as a family; we think of her and we know that she would have enjoyed being there as well.

Last night on the phone I heard her voice was near tears.
The exams are tough, and there is not much a Mom can do!
Only sympathies and suggestions of how to tackle a huge workload!

I hope it goes well with the exams!


This year has been much better without initiation demands at university, and she has much more freedom with going out. We can see that she is enjoying it!

We love it that she enjoying her young life!


Vasbyt!

Best wishes to all the Moms students doing exams!

Harlem Shake - The Student needs your views, please

She's the one with the orange shirt and green skirt on the left, with the medical overcoat :D

Second Year at Varsity

The Student is off for her second year studies at university!
She is looking forward to it.
(An understatement! She cannot wait!)

This year this mother can relax a little bit much!

There is no more of the initiation worries of the first year, and me feeling that I have failed my child for sending her to a place that was the worst with regards these types of practices.
The initiation lasted much longer last year than we had hoped, but in the end she came through it!

Luckily, we have not heard of any bad practices so far, but I will definitely report back if we get to hear of nasty practices still happening!
The Student has vowed not be be involved with any of this type of mistreatment of juniors in the residences!

This year she can focus more on her studies, but she can also have the time of her life on campus.

She has a new room-mate, and they seem a much better fit after she had to learn some life lessons while studying last year.

Hopefully a pep talk with the student would also not be necessary this year! (Hint ;-) )
This year she know how to organise and plan, and how to fit in the fun stuff!

I hope that she will have lots and loads of fun while getting her degree!

I am so proud of her for trying her utmost last year, and for seeing it through!

She passed all her subjects, and can now focus on doing her second year subjects!


Enjoy it, Young Lady!!

We are going to miss you!


Photo: A bit of fun at Pretville

University initiation - How long should it last?

Initiation at university. 

We became aware this year of how prevalent it still is in our higher institutions of education. 

I felt in the beginning of the year that I had failed my child for allowing her to have to go through this type of treatment to have a place to stay while studying.

The worst. The initiation has still not ended. It is nearly end of the year, and the exams are around the corner. 

They are still being subjected to initiation practices. They have not been discharged from the practices, although all the rest of the residences have finished with these practices in August or earlier. 

My thoughts are that it should not happen at all, but at least that it should not be allowed to take as long as this. 

As far as I know the University has a policy that says that it should end at the end of August!

I think it is just a formal nod to bullies to continue with their bullying behaviour! 

The practice of initiation creates bullies! 

I am really not impressed! Every time my daughter thinks this is the evening that they are going to be discharged and that the practise would end...

Holding thumbs that it will be the end this weekend! 

I am sorry, my girl!

How long should it last, do you think?

(Photo taken last night)

Related posts:

This year of First Years can make a difference - initiation

Initiation update - as sick as a dog

"This is not initiation!"

Have we failed our children? - Initiation

Orientation seems a lot like initiation

The long weekend - RIM

We had a public holiday last Thursday, and of course it meant a loong weekend to most of us who could take the Friday as leave.

It flew by, but it was lovely. As always when you have a long weekend... (Sic! Sorry, it must seem so boring...)

It feels like we did not do something major, like climbing mountains or going away camping or on holiday, but we had a great time.

In these little moments we are making great memories, and I want to record some of these special times. To not Rest-In-Peace "RIP", but to Rest-In-Memories "RIM".

It was a bit of a cold weekend (Yes, Sis, we are really cold here, although you do not believe us sitting there in London! ;-) )

- But we could make our potjie (stew) outside on Thursday!

(The dog was not part of the potjie...
She enjoyed the sun and sitting on our laps)

- I had a special day with the two girls going shopping on Friday.
We went in search of tekkies for the youngest, and it seems she is just as full of whims as the eldest about her choice of clothes. I think next time I will just buy the needed item of clothing and put it in her cupboard. I does not help asking her what she wants, because it is almost 100% totally impracticable and unwearable or way too expensive!

- We took the youngest to the movie Brave with Princess Merida on Friday evening. I thought it was a  bit of a dark plot, but loved the message portrayed in the movie of girls making up their own minds about their own destiny. The Toddler also wore her 3D glasses for most part of the movie, and it seems she enjoyed it more than I would have thought. There was no nightmares afterwards. The dark forest and the bears did not have a negative impact!

- We had a children's party on Saturday. I am beginning to get used to it, because it is just such fun for the little ones!

- The two sisters bonded so well over the weekend. Whenever we want to know where the little one is, we just go to her sister's bedroom... She is never far away from her big sister!

- It was our turn to drive back to university, and the little one said she misses her sister, and she should not stay away for very long!
Luckily, the student gets a ride every weekend to come back home!

Walking back with her suitcase on the right

- See you next weekend, Weekend!

Life lessons while studying

The Student has learnt a couple of valuable lessons while studying.

In our era of Google, Wikipedia and cut & paste it is a valuable lesson for all Students. Of. Life.

I always try to believe the best of people, and usually expect the best from somebody else.
I also believe that the way we expect them to be is the way that they will show up in our lives!

She lent in good faith her memory stick to a fellow student, and had her work copied by two others. Work that she had put much effort in.

In the end she had to go and lay a complaint, and had to face "stories" and bad vibes going round.
She also got the same marks for her assignment which the other two got. So her marks were compromised!

Her memory stick were also stolen after that!



The lessons that she has learnt:


- Never give your intellectual property to somebody else to copy. Help them with ideas, but never give the whole document.

- Keep your memory stick in a safe place. Always!!

- Do not lose your trust in other people, but do not make it easy on them to violate it!

- Do not let yourself lose your focus on achieving your goal, specifically to get an education!

- Work hard to play hard, in that consecutive order.

- The Truth always prevails!


Best wishes for the exams, my girl!
I know it will go well!

Pep talk with the student

Maybe there is something that we did not say already, or it got lost in "translation"...


- This the best time of your life. Right now! Right there!

- Think about all the things you can be grateful of: Being able to study full-time, with no worries about lodging and food.

- You cannot fail. You can always do it over! Start again! Shift your focus!

- You are allowed to say no when student activities interfere with your studying.

- Worry about what is at hand right now. Not about what will happen next year.

- You have control of your life now! Do what is to be done NOW!

- You are allowed to play! But make sure that your work has been done! (It won't change when you start working.)

- You have to sacrifice for a greater goal sometimes. Your goal now is to get that degree!

- Stay in a weekend when there is work to be done... You will be so glad for the work you have done after the weekend.

- When your room is not conducive to study, work in the library.

- Talk to the lecturers when you have a problem.

- Ask for help!

- It is not "nice" to repeat a subject! It is extremely boring. Try to finish each subject within the correct time limit!

- Your boyfriend will be understanding when you can't go home on weekends. Your relationship won't suffer if it is meant to stand the test of time!

- Don't wish your life away till the next weekend! Enjoy each day!

- You are intelligent! You can do this!

- Decide what is important to you, and what you want from life! (You want the qualification to make a better life for yourself?)

- Enjoy!!


What more can I say to a student, struggling to find her balance in her first year?


(Photo: Patrick Pretorius Photography)

Ghost in room 608

A true story by the Student.

It was late and dark, when...


I was struggling to fall asleep and my roommate was already in dream land.


There was no wind or storm when the lock on our door opened(which can only be opened from the inside) and the door swung wide open.
The door slammed closed.
Then my cupboard opened (it can only be opened by force) and there was no struggle when it opened.


I nearly jumped out of my skin!


Our door opened and closed again and the door miraculously locked itself....


I spent the night with my roommate in her bed!


The next day we told the seniors about what had happened. They laughed and said we live in the ghost room.
Ah, great!


Apparently, 20 years ago, a girl commited 'suicide' in that room. But, if she commited suicide, why is she still hanging around? Something's fishy...


I landed in the room with a ghost. Don't you just love Murphy?


I am the most easily spooked person on planet Earth and I share a room with my roommate AND a ghost!

This year of First Years at university can make the difference - initiation

I am writing again about the First Years at university and their apparent "willing" participation at age-old rituals of initiation.

The first semester has been especially tough on them, having to cope with their studies, as well as having to accommodate all kinds of "requests" being in a residence at university. \
As part of the orientation initiation!

I still feel that I have failed my child because I had to ask her to stay on where she was.
Unfortunately we don't have the funds to buy or rent outside accommodation for our child.
We know of many parents who could afford it and who had to take the step of buying a flat and organised a vehicle for their children. I really would have done it if we could!

In the end the student had to "survive" and had to cope with bullying behaviour. She was forced to avoid certain eating areas because of being afraid of bullying behaviour of seniors. Up until now they have not been discharged from the whole initiation practise.
Luckily she was allowed to swop room mates, and it has contributed to a better studying arrangement. (Her current room mate is doing the same degree.)

The previous weekend they had to stay in to beautify their floors. They had to sell self-made stuff to generate funds, and they spent hours and hours in making the decorations.
They were very proud of their handiwork!

They also had to "zoob" for a "mother" in their residence - it means they had to flatter and try to win the favour of the person they wanted to be their "mother".  I got photos of the student with a dummy in her mouth, very happy with standing next to her "mother", a senior in the residence!

It has left me with a bad taste in the mouth!

I do not have a problem with having a mentor in the residence, but I think it is not necessary for them to spend time and money and to wait two months before the process is in place. Seniors could have been placed in mentoring positions from the start to help them cope with first year demands, and helping them with their studies. The first semester is done and dusted already!

The initiation has been "successful"!
In the end they have "willing lackeys" who are "happy and proud!" to be in the residence where they are!
(The indoctrination has been complete!)


My wish is that this year's First Year's will stand up next year and say that they won't be part of the initiation ever again!
Apparently it is the second year students who are the worst!



My wish is that next year the second year students will say:


- We want an orientation programme where the first years will know  everything about campus and university and studies before they start with their courses.
- We do not want bullying!
- We do not want students dying (Yes, it's happening every year!!), having to drop their studies or having to give up staying in a residence!
- We want to welcome the First Years with open arms.
- We do not want fear!
- We do not want belittling or dehumanization!
- We want to help them and show them the best practices!

It takes just one year to break this sick practise!



Related posts: 


Orientation seems a lot like initiation
This is not initiation!
Have we failed our children? - initiation

“THIS IS NOT INITIATION!"

I was so excited to start the next stage of my life: UNIVERSITY.

My parents and my boyfriend helped me to move in.
I tried to gulp down my tears when they left, but failed miserably.

When all the parents were gone; the House Committee told us to go and stand in the recreational room and be quiet. They left the room and only returned 10 minutes later. When they returned, they started to close all the rooms and blinds. All I could remember of that moment was that it felt like the bad cop interrogation style. The room was dark and suddenly they started yelling at us.

They yelled things like: “You are useless!” “You don’t belong here!” “You are not worthy of this hostel”

The screaming went on for days. We had to learn millions of songs and ‘traditions’ at the speed of light. We had to march in rows EVERYWHERE! All the girls had to wear the same clothes and have the same hairstyles, because we are a unity, you know.

We had a busy program everyday from 5am till 12pm every day, but after that it wasn’t bedtime. Oh no, then we had to create and revise songs for some important person on campus. Oh wait, we also had to make cards for every House Committee member for the mornings (WHY, I ask you! #pointless!!!!!!!!!!!)

Just when things started to get better, we heard that the seniors were coming and they wanted revenge. They wanted revenge, because we “took” their friends’ places in the residence.

OMW! Never in my life was I so scared as I was that evening of seniors’ meeting. We came back from activities and near the residence we heard chains clanking on the metal bars.
Painted faces screaming: “We want blood! We want blood!”

As we went inside, the seniors came down from all the floors and stood around us. They screamed so loud. They shouted that they hate us and we are nothing. My ears hurt for days after.

I live on floor 6. The seniors on that floor are reported as being the meanest and scariest! They taught us to greet our floor, the bear, the tree, every senior and second year. All in ONE night!

Every time we got it wrong they screamed our ears off of our heads! I was too scared to go to the loo! I was too scared to go shower. I was too scared for anything. No wait, I wasn’t scared of those things... I was afraid of the nasty, screaming, bitchy seniors!

The House Committee and seniors never even once told us that we did something right. They just wanted to scar our humanity!

I started getting very sick and the HC didn’t give a damn. When my mom called and DEMANDED that I get medical help, they said to the whole group that we must toughen up and stop being sissies.
I was finally allowed to go to the doctor. I had influenza and throat infection. The doctor was furious that the HC didn’t allow me to get medical attention sooner. She told me that I couldn’t be part of anymore activities and that I should go home.

My mom made a complaint to the campus rector about their actions.
His reply was simply that initiation doesn’t exist...


Related posts:

- Have we failed our children? - initiation 

- Initiation update - as sick as a dog