Wordless Wednesday #311 Lovers' Lane

Graduation and the end of an era

We attended the final graduation ceremony of the Student yesterday. She received her post-graduate diploma in Management. She finally finished her final subject in Accounting with a distinction after she did not make it last year!

The day was filled with pride, but also with nostalgic reflection of a time that has passed very quickly!

It was the best of times!
It was a difficult time, especially in the first year of initiation!
It was a time of great friendships!
It was a time of hard work!
It was a time of play!

I am so glad that my daughter had this time in her life!

I think that is one of the greatest accomplishments for parents when their children successfully earn their qualifications to get a kick-start in life!

The friends...

 A special person...

The family...

Thanks to a Dad who had to drive the taxi when the lifts failed. He even drove one evening from a function to pick up his sick daughter to bring her back home before he went back to his work conference.

My eldest is not a Teen nor a Student anymore!
I feel like shedding a tear and shouting Hallelujah at the same time!

So proud of you!
You are my the my example of Parenting-done-right!
Well done, my girl!

Wordless Wednesday #259 - Superhero poses #graduation

No, today I will not stand up!

The students are protesting today about change at the North West University. They are doing it under the banner of  "Sal jy opstaan?" #saljyopstaan (Will you stand up?)

I personally won't be standing up today!

As a parent I am extremely grateful that they are finally doing something at the university.

I was appalled at the initiation practices three years back when my daughter started there as a first year. I could not believe that the same initiation practices that we were subjected to in 1985 were still being practices at a higher education institution. I complained at that stage, but was told that it is not initiation! Orientation is not the same as initiation.
This was/is initiation!
I felt like we had failed our children by allowing them to be subjected to this!

Change is a difficult thing, but it is definitely needed in this case!

I wanted my daughter to study at an institution where they are focused on learning and developing a well-rounded person, but in the first year (and even after that), they were subjected to bully behaviour where they are required to conform to the norm, or being forced out of their residences.

I am also glad to hear that other changes about the language and the culture will be instituted!
You can't keep on living in a bubble!


I am glad that the next generation of students won't be subjected to this!
Thanks North West University!


I know I am not going to be popular by saying this!
But as a parent I have to!

Related posts:

- Initiation still ongoing at university

- Initiation update - as sick as a dog!

Second Year at Varsity

The Student is off for her second year studies at university!
She is looking forward to it.
(An understatement! She cannot wait!)

This year this mother can relax a little bit much!

There is no more of the initiation worries of the first year, and me feeling that I have failed my child for sending her to a place that was the worst with regards these types of practices.
The initiation lasted much longer last year than we had hoped, but in the end she came through it!

Luckily, we have not heard of any bad practices so far, but I will definitely report back if we get to hear of nasty practices still happening!
The Student has vowed not be be involved with any of this type of mistreatment of juniors in the residences!

This year she can focus more on her studies, but she can also have the time of her life on campus.

She has a new room-mate, and they seem a much better fit after she had to learn some life lessons while studying last year.

Hopefully a pep talk with the student would also not be necessary this year! (Hint ;-) )
This year she know how to organise and plan, and how to fit in the fun stuff!

I hope that she will have lots and loads of fun while getting her degree!

I am so proud of her for trying her utmost last year, and for seeing it through!

She passed all her subjects, and can now focus on doing her second year subjects!


Enjoy it, Young Lady!!

We are going to miss you!


Photo: A bit of fun at Pretville

University initiation - How long should it last?

Initiation at university. 

We became aware this year of how prevalent it still is in our higher institutions of education. 

I felt in the beginning of the year that I had failed my child for allowing her to have to go through this type of treatment to have a place to stay while studying.

The worst. The initiation has still not ended. It is nearly end of the year, and the exams are around the corner. 

They are still being subjected to initiation practices. They have not been discharged from the practices, although all the rest of the residences have finished with these practices in August or earlier. 

My thoughts are that it should not happen at all, but at least that it should not be allowed to take as long as this. 

As far as I know the University has a policy that says that it should end at the end of August!

I think it is just a formal nod to bullies to continue with their bullying behaviour! 

The practice of initiation creates bullies! 

I am really not impressed! Every time my daughter thinks this is the evening that they are going to be discharged and that the practise would end...

Holding thumbs that it will be the end this weekend! 

I am sorry, my girl!

How long should it last, do you think?

(Photo taken last night)

Related posts:

This year of First Years can make a difference - initiation

Initiation update - as sick as a dog

"This is not initiation!"

Have we failed our children? - Initiation

Orientation seems a lot like initiation

When a daughter of 19 gets ripped away...

I have heard the saddest news ever...
That news that every parent dreads to hear, and never ever wants to hear.

A young girl of 19 who was on her way from university got killed in a car accident on Tuesday. It is the daughter of the niece of a friend.

The news twisted my stomach in knots, because she is the same age as my daughter.
She is also a first-year at the same university my daughter goes to!
And she died on the death-trap of a road going to Potchefstroom.

That road was one of the main reasons I first told my daughter that she could not even consider going to that university...

I worry each time she gets a lift coming home, or going back. The one and half hour drive keeps me checking my BBM until she is safe!

Somebody said yesterday that I should keep watch over my children. As if we can keep our children safe from harm in everything they do...


Dear Daughter, I hope you stay safe in everything you do! Even if you sometimes decide to stay out late, or get up to some mischief! (I love that you are enjoying your life!)
But please come home to us!


Peace to Vanessa and her family!
RIP Melissa!

Initiation update - as sick as a dog!

Initiation continues unabated in the third week at university!

The poor girls are tired, tired, and tired!

I even got a message as parent from a House Committee (HC) member that the next three days are going to be more hectic because of the upcoming Rag festival on Saturday!

In the meantime the first year is as sick as a dog. She asked to be taken to the doctor yesterday, but was only taken to the pharmacy to get some medicines.
After that she had to continue taking part in all the activities until eleven last night. After which they had to make cards (?) for all the seniors...

I got worried yesterday afternoon, and tracked down the responsible Head of the Residence, a Professor.
I asked that somebody check in on her to see that she is okay.
All that he did was to phone the HC member.
The HC member told our student to sent me an sms from her own (the HCs) phone. (That really reassured me!)

I learnt after eleven last night - the first time that she could talk to me - that she was still not well...

This morning I phoned the Professor to demand that she sees a doctor today! (Yes, I am that mother!)
I said that I did not want any messages from a HC member anymore!
Apparently she's got an appointment at eleven, but she still has to take part in all activities. (I hope the doctor books her off!)

My thoughts on this:
- They are supposed to be adults now, but are treated like babies. She cannot move without informing the HC, and they have to accompany the first years.
- My daughter is very capable to decide when she needs to go and see a doctor, and she will do so when necessary.
- She is also allowed to rest when her body tells her so! (Bed rest is the best cure for sickness!)
- There is no adult supervision at the residence. My daughter does not know who the Head of Residence is and she hasn't seen him moving around. (We have heard more favourable news from other residences where the Heads are seen in the corridors.)
- The seniors are still given free reign in the residence.
- Why are there no guardians to check up on the first years? Where's the friendly "Mother"-figure at the residence?
- I have learnt that a first year got meningitis in the first week, and landed up in hospital. There is a stomach bug going around, and the doctor's waiting rooms are filled up!
- A student died there with this initiation process! There is not enough control for the safety of the students!
- They have to spent hours and hours in the sun until Saturday.
- I am listening to a lot of debates around the issue of initiation (orientation), and it still seems that there are a pervasive psyche in our society that says it is necessary to teach respect! I'm sorry! Respect is earned!
- People are saying that my son had this or that experience, or I had a terrible experience, but they still think it is  a necessary activity! I don't think it teaches you anything, and much less respect!
- It is still INITIATION being practised!

I really feel that my daughter is taken care of! NOT!

In the meantime I had to type up a CV for another residence which seems to treat the students more humanely... (Hold thumbs!)

Related posts:
Have we failed our children? - initiation
Orientation seems a lot like initiation 

Wordless Wednesday #113 - Missing the first year - 2 & half weeks

Have we failed our children? - Initiation

To take them to higher institutions of learning that still carry on with the age-old initiation practices of bullying and emotional abuse?

I have to tell my first year that it is not as bad as it seems, although I despised the practices years ago when I was subjected to it.

The bullying stays the same!

I feel that I have failed my child!

I have entrusted my child to be taken care of in a residence where they are subjected to violent practices I would never have done to my own child.

Now apparently I have given “permission” for seniors who are only two to three years older to subject my daughter to tyranny!

They call it “Ontvangs- en Bekendstelling” (Welcome & Introduction), but it’s far from the truth!

• She is afraid to walk in her own residence because of the verbal abuse they are subjected to when encountering a senior or House Committee (HC) member.
• She is afraid to go to the toilet!
• She does not get enough sleep, and that has been the case for two weeks now.
• After they have finished with them - subjected them to all kinds of abusive rituals – they have to “prepare stuff” for the following day. Usually after 12 at night!
• They are forced to look down when encountering a senior, but they have to know all of the senior’s names (without looking at them)!
• They are forced to address the entire senior corps as Sir or Miss.
• I have to look at status updates such as “Hate this place!”; “Hate this! I am so over this crap!”; “No sleep for me tonight!”; “Do not want to go to the residence!”
• She said they were told that they would be in big trouble if they complain!
• They are not allowed to go anywhere without permission, and they are kept busy 24/7 with stuff such as “flowers” folding for the upcoming Rag on Saturday.

This is definitely not orientation, but initiation!

It doesn’t help to tell me that one day she will look back and laugh at this! 

This is not how a society should treat its “first year’s”!

Why can’t all the parents stand up and say “enough is enough”?

We don’t want our children subjected to this!

Instead we are scared to become a lone voice for fear of our child being victimized!

I am so sorry, my child!

I have thought we have moved past this!

This is happening at NWU Potchefstroom at the residences.

Judging by Twitter and the newspapers it is happening at other universities as well…

We have not evolved at all!

Related post:
Orientation seems a lot like initiation