Second Year at Varsity

The Student is off for her second year studies at university!
She is looking forward to it.
(An understatement! She cannot wait!)

This year this mother can relax a little bit much!

There is no more of the initiation worries of the first year, and me feeling that I have failed my child for sending her to a place that was the worst with regards these types of practices.
The initiation lasted much longer last year than we had hoped, but in the end she came through it!

Luckily, we have not heard of any bad practices so far, but I will definitely report back if we get to hear of nasty practices still happening!
The Student has vowed not be be involved with any of this type of mistreatment of juniors in the residences!

This year she can focus more on her studies, but she can also have the time of her life on campus.

She has a new room-mate, and they seem a much better fit after she had to learn some life lessons while studying last year.

Hopefully a pep talk with the student would also not be necessary this year! (Hint ;-) )
This year she know how to organise and plan, and how to fit in the fun stuff!

I hope that she will have lots and loads of fun while getting her degree!

I am so proud of her for trying her utmost last year, and for seeing it through!

She passed all her subjects, and can now focus on doing her second year subjects!


Enjoy it, Young Lady!!

We are going to miss you!


Photo: A bit of fun at Pretville

Ghost in room 608

A true story by the Student.

It was late and dark, when...


I was struggling to fall asleep and my roommate was already in dream land.


There was no wind or storm when the lock on our door opened(which can only be opened from the inside) and the door swung wide open.
The door slammed closed.
Then my cupboard opened (it can only be opened by force) and there was no struggle when it opened.


I nearly jumped out of my skin!


Our door opened and closed again and the door miraculously locked itself....


I spent the night with my roommate in her bed!


The next day we told the seniors about what had happened. They laughed and said we live in the ghost room.
Ah, great!


Apparently, 20 years ago, a girl commited 'suicide' in that room. But, if she commited suicide, why is she still hanging around? Something's fishy...


I landed in the room with a ghost. Don't you just love Murphy?


I am the most easily spooked person on planet Earth and I share a room with my roommate AND a ghost!

This year of First Years at university can make the difference - initiation

I am writing again about the First Years at university and their apparent "willing" participation at age-old rituals of initiation.

The first semester has been especially tough on them, having to cope with their studies, as well as having to accommodate all kinds of "requests" being in a residence at university. \
As part of the orientation initiation!

I still feel that I have failed my child because I had to ask her to stay on where she was.
Unfortunately we don't have the funds to buy or rent outside accommodation for our child.
We know of many parents who could afford it and who had to take the step of buying a flat and organised a vehicle for their children. I really would have done it if we could!

In the end the student had to "survive" and had to cope with bullying behaviour. She was forced to avoid certain eating areas because of being afraid of bullying behaviour of seniors. Up until now they have not been discharged from the whole initiation practise.
Luckily she was allowed to swop room mates, and it has contributed to a better studying arrangement. (Her current room mate is doing the same degree.)

The previous weekend they had to stay in to beautify their floors. They had to sell self-made stuff to generate funds, and they spent hours and hours in making the decorations.
They were very proud of their handiwork!

They also had to "zoob" for a "mother" in their residence - it means they had to flatter and try to win the favour of the person they wanted to be their "mother".  I got photos of the student with a dummy in her mouth, very happy with standing next to her "mother", a senior in the residence!

It has left me with a bad taste in the mouth!

I do not have a problem with having a mentor in the residence, but I think it is not necessary for them to spend time and money and to wait two months before the process is in place. Seniors could have been placed in mentoring positions from the start to help them cope with first year demands, and helping them with their studies. The first semester is done and dusted already!

The initiation has been "successful"!
In the end they have "willing lackeys" who are "happy and proud!" to be in the residence where they are!
(The indoctrination has been complete!)


My wish is that this year's First Year's will stand up next year and say that they won't be part of the initiation ever again!
Apparently it is the second year students who are the worst!



My wish is that next year the second year students will say:


- We want an orientation programme where the first years will know  everything about campus and university and studies before they start with their courses.
- We do not want bullying!
- We do not want students dying (Yes, it's happening every year!!), having to drop their studies or having to give up staying in a residence!
- We want to welcome the First Years with open arms.
- We do not want fear!
- We do not want belittling or dehumanization!
- We want to help them and show them the best practices!

It takes just one year to break this sick practise!



Related posts: 


Orientation seems a lot like initiation
This is not initiation!
Have we failed our children? - initiation

Initiation update - as sick as a dog!

Initiation continues unabated in the third week at university!

The poor girls are tired, tired, and tired!

I even got a message as parent from a House Committee (HC) member that the next three days are going to be more hectic because of the upcoming Rag festival on Saturday!

In the meantime the first year is as sick as a dog. She asked to be taken to the doctor yesterday, but was only taken to the pharmacy to get some medicines.
After that she had to continue taking part in all the activities until eleven last night. After which they had to make cards (?) for all the seniors...

I got worried yesterday afternoon, and tracked down the responsible Head of the Residence, a Professor.
I asked that somebody check in on her to see that she is okay.
All that he did was to phone the HC member.
The HC member told our student to sent me an sms from her own (the HCs) phone. (That really reassured me!)

I learnt after eleven last night - the first time that she could talk to me - that she was still not well...

This morning I phoned the Professor to demand that she sees a doctor today! (Yes, I am that mother!)
I said that I did not want any messages from a HC member anymore!
Apparently she's got an appointment at eleven, but she still has to take part in all activities. (I hope the doctor books her off!)

My thoughts on this:
- They are supposed to be adults now, but are treated like babies. She cannot move without informing the HC, and they have to accompany the first years.
- My daughter is very capable to decide when she needs to go and see a doctor, and she will do so when necessary.
- She is also allowed to rest when her body tells her so! (Bed rest is the best cure for sickness!)
- There is no adult supervision at the residence. My daughter does not know who the Head of Residence is and she hasn't seen him moving around. (We have heard more favourable news from other residences where the Heads are seen in the corridors.)
- The seniors are still given free reign in the residence.
- Why are there no guardians to check up on the first years? Where's the friendly "Mother"-figure at the residence?
- I have learnt that a first year got meningitis in the first week, and landed up in hospital. There is a stomach bug going around, and the doctor's waiting rooms are filled up!
- A student died there with this initiation process! There is not enough control for the safety of the students!
- They have to spent hours and hours in the sun until Saturday.
- I am listening to a lot of debates around the issue of initiation (orientation), and it still seems that there are a pervasive psyche in our society that says it is necessary to teach respect! I'm sorry! Respect is earned!
- People are saying that my son had this or that experience, or I had a terrible experience, but they still think it is  a necessary activity! I don't think it teaches you anything, and much less respect!
- It is still INITIATION being practised!

I really feel that my daughter is taken care of! NOT!

In the meantime I had to type up a CV for another residence which seems to treat the students more humanely... (Hold thumbs!)

Related posts:
Have we failed our children? - initiation
Orientation seems a lot like initiation 

A weekend of opposites

- We had to say goodbye to our student who was bouncing ball of readiness for her new life at varsity.

- The same day we had to encourage her to not see it "as the end of the world"!
   (Orientation, which includes initiation practices, are very much alive at university!)

- I had to suppress a few tears. My daughter is finally moving on!

- I had to smile at her exuberance!

- I am feeling a bit apprehensive and sorry for her, wondering if she would be able to cope with the verbal abuse?

- She got a warning for not remembering a senior's name! Three warnings gets you kicked out... Which made her very upset!

- We are saying that it's all bluff (and had a secret smile about it)!

- I am so excited about her being able to study and enter a new phase.

- My daughter don't know if she will be able to cope with the next three weeks!

- I told her that she would definitely be able to cope with it. She is very strong.
She "survived" her dad with his emotional games! She can do it!


I don't understand why you have to "break" someone to build them up again?
I also hated initiation in my days at varsity, but I thought it was a thing of the past?

You will be okay, my girl! I know you will!


Related post: 
Varsity, here I come!