Friday, 18 November 2011

Reasons why you should not stay

It is time to Speak Out #SpeakOut
I have committed to take part in the worldwide Speak Out campaign organized by Kirstin at Wanderlust_Lust.

Speak Out is an "event is to bring awareness to the cause and encourage victims of domestic violence to speak out and seek help"
Domestic violence  is a "silent" type of violence. To the outside world it is not always visible.
The victims sometimes believe the abuser that they had a part in their abuser acting out on his frustration.... They also feel ashamed to admit that the situation is a situation of domestic violence.

In a previous life I was in an emotional abusive situation where it took me very long to realize that I could not change the situation or the person. I could only  change myself, and save us from having to live in an emotional roller coaster that went nowhere but down...

I came to the realization that a person very seldom change, and 99% of the time it is not worth to try and stay in a situation that is not healthy or safe for you and the children.
I now advise anyone to get out sooner rather than later. The violence escalates, and your safety gets more precarious with time...

Reasons why you should not stay:

- You are worth more than he has made you come to believe!
- You owe it to yourself and your children to be happy. (If one person affects the emotional and physical well-being of the other people around him in a negative way, does it make sense to stay with him?)
- Your children are entitled to be happy!
- You and your children should be able to feel safe in your own home. 
- You owe it to your children to show them that this is not acceptable behaviour!
- You should not have to tippy-toe around a person!
- You are entitled to peace in your own home.
- You should not have to feel unworthy/unloved/incapable/diminished in your role as wife, mother and partner.
- It is definitely not your fault! (If you are made to believe it is, it is time to re-evaluate your situation!)
- Next time is worse than the previous incident! (Get out!)
- The "sorry" is not reflected in behaviour, or only for a very short period!
- When there is always somebody to blame, and responsibility for own bad behaviour is not acknowledged!
- You want to stay alive! You want your children to stay alive!
- You should not become and feel depressed because of another person and his actions.
- When you find that your future looks bleak with this person!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Please do not feel that you have made you bed and you have to lie in it!

You have the power to say no, to speak out about it, and to get out of there!
Your family and your friends and people around you will help you!
There are many organizations who will help you!

Reach out and get out! Domestic violence is not acceptable!

Thanks to Kristin who has organized #SpeakOut.
She has put up a linky with all the powerful posts from around the world.
She has included links when you are in an abusive relationship right now.

Do you have more reasons why she should not stay?



  1. Thank you for supporting Speak Out. Here from the link.

  2. LOVE THIS! I have a friend who needs to believe these words!!!

  3. There are so many women out there that need to hear this...thank you for sharing.

  4. Thank you so much for posting and supporting Speak Out. You have been a wonderful advocate for DV awareness, and for me personally as I've navigated my own way out.

    It's taken me this long to get through all the posts in the linky - so apologies for taking my time. I had to pace myself. x

  5. I hope your message will find its way to people who need it!


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