I find myself feeling guilty most of the times when I read about all the high aspirations of parenting methods. There are the Authentic Parenting style, the Natural Parents, and the Attachment Parenting websites. Unschooling dot com and Gentle Disciplining. Code Name Mama has even decided not to expose her child to the whole Santa myth, and her arguments are very sane.
Then the guilt tripping sets in. Maybe we should do it another way!? The green parents also make me wish I could be a better greenie!
I try most of the times just to juggle being a mother, and to work as well!
Sometimes we are so tired when we get home, we declare it a McD’s night out. Horrors, yes! We feed our children a McDonald’s hamburger every now and then. I even ask for the toy that comes with the food because I think it is some of the cutest toys ever. Now I hear it encourages bad eating habits... Guilty!
We do Christmas with Santa because we think it is a whole lot of fun! And it cultivates a special family tradition for the little one.
Luckily we also get validation of some of our parenting styles. Sometimes when the baby (now toddler) is more in our bed, I think about all the benefits of co-sleeping and don’t stress about it. The same with spanking which we don’t do – gentle disciplining takes care of that!
The other day I thought to myself that one of my New Year’s resolutions should be that I should relax about my own parenting style. I am an ordinary mother trying to juggle life! I try to aspire to be more mother and parent and working mother, but I give myself permission to just be ordinary. Sometimes I will live up to my aspirations, sometimes not. I love reading and will keep on reading about all those great parenting styles!
Now I am an ordinary working mother. That is totally OKAY for me!
I am definitely joining your totally normal working mother club. I've knocked myself out over the years wondering if I am doing the right thing but you know what I am, and I am liking it and my kids are benefitting from it and although there will always be things that I need to strive to improve and do better I think that I too can give myself a break and just 'be' :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post :)
Oh yes, so true. Why do we question ourselves so much?
ReplyDeleteOh, to just be normal. Must be all the guilty feelings of juggling motherhood and a career that want us to excel in everything we do...and all that happens is that we get burn-out and feel like a total failure. We need to just relax and enjoy every day...even if we need to get Macdonalds;-D
ReplyDeleteI never did follow the 'Jones' (so to speak). We raised our children how we saw fit. My first born slept with me for four years, she's an intelligent high functioning 23 yr old adult today. My youngest @ 20 yrs old is a mother herself, and one that raises her daughter the way she was raised.
ReplyDeleteLose the guilt, sunshine, we are the best of what we can be. And if that involves supper @ McD's then celebrate your success. You didn't let them starve... and really? McD's fries are THE. BEST. EVER.
:-)
Moet nie kommer nie, jy het reeds 'n tiener agter die blad en sy lyk heel pragtig. Ek glo nie daar is fout met jou opvoeding styl nie. Sterkte in elk geval :)
ReplyDeleteI totally love this post. I'm joining your ordinary club. Seems like I'm always second guessing myself on what is the "right" thing to be doing. Well, now I'm realizing that the right thing is what my instincts tell me. Thanks so much for reminding me. Remember too, you did do a wonderful job with that teen, so your methods are definitely right on. Thanks for a thoughtful post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments!
ReplyDeleteI have re-read my own post, and I sound a bit neurotic ;-)
I will try to relax even more about my parenting style! :D
Normal is more than enough!!
Jamie, I agree: McD's fries are THE.BEST.EVER! :DD
well i'm sure in your kids' eyes you are no ordinary mom... you are the bestestest most specialist supermom in the universe... and its only their opinion that counts ;)
ReplyDelete