Parenting is humbling

I have to laugh at myself and my thoughts around parenthood. The Universe has a quirky way of coming back to slap you with your own smugness.

I am the older mom with a daughter that has successfully gone through the stages of growing up and has successfully completed her studies. She is working and doing her thing! I have got the "evidence" that I rock this parenting gig! I was smug!

Ha-ha!

Unfortunately kids do not have the same manual. They are not the same!
What was I thinking?

Suffice to say that I have my thoughts around parenthood handed back to me on a silver platter! I can't do it the same as the previous time!

I am also older (and wiser) and have learnt much from parenting experts and parents around the world. That what I thought was good parenting techniques previously, is also frowned upon today!

So, although I am the older mom, I am doing it again! I am writing a new manual. And it is only for the youngest! (It is child-specific!)

And I won't judge people who struggle with parenting, and I won't judge the judgy eyes when we have the full-blown melt-down! Because I know, karma comes around!


Have you changed your parenting style over the years, since you had your first child?

School readiness results

The school readiness results did not come back as positive as expected.

We will probably go to an occupational therapist, as well as an optometrist as suggested!

With hindsight I should have gone to the occupational therapist in the first place, and not "waste" my money and time at a educational psychologist.
I got the reference from parents at school, and did not think twice...


Little Missy also did a few unexpected things that could have impacted on the advice:
(As they do!)

- She brought a teddy bear along to the session. She hardly ever plays with her bears, and only once or twice slept with one of them.
There is no favourite bear that goes around with us, such as the blanket that her sister carried around.
But it definitely had an impact on the assessment, and the bear was mentioned a couple of times by the psychologist.

- She drew a terrible self-portrait of only a half person, with no facial features. And announced that it was enough for that picture for the day.
Her pictures are usually the most colourful and I like to share them because I think they are very good!
(See the picture on top.)

- She told the psychologist that her secret is that she was still drinking "Boobies" until quite recently. It was never a secret in our house, or to the outside world.
It seems that this confirms to the psychologist that she is still emotionally not ready, although I personally (and Natural/Attachment parents) think that it breeds a very emotional strong and resilient person! (As well as a HEALTHY person!)

- She also admitted to manipulate us with her tantrums, until we give in to her demands!
When do we give in to her demands?
The fact that she is able to verbalise and knows what she is doing, is telling me that she is already able to control her tantrums.

- She was also only able to sit still for 15 minutes, before she got bored. In the written feedback it even says 20 minutes.
I think it is quite a long time for a little person to sit still? Maybe the stuff got boring?

- She also told the psychologist that we still sleep with her. It is true in part because we lay with her in her bed until she falls asleep. But then we get up again.. And then we only go to her at night when she calls, and sometimes falling asleep with her!
It is a parenting style that we as parents are both happy with!
It seems that the psychologist thinks we are still baby-ing her, and therefore she is not emotionally ready!


I know that the psychologist only got to see her for a an hour and a half.
We will not only base our decision on her inputs, but what we get from the OT's assessments.

Positive Parenting - status update as a parenting mantra

Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond on WordItOut

 I saw this today at Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond on Facebook.
This is a status update I want to be reminded of quite frequently.

I want to call it my parenting mantra.


Respect me so I could respect others

Forgive me so I could forgive others

Listen to me so I could listen to others

Do not beat me so I wouldn't beat others

Do not humiliate me so I wouldn't humiliate others

Talk to me so I could talk to others

Do not laugh at me

Do not offend me

Do not ignore me

Love me so I could love

I am learning about life from you

Just an ordinary mother

About Mommy blogs and the Internet. We know things we did not know we had to know about being mothers and parenting and babies and toddlers. And when we don’t know, we can ask a whole worldwide community of knowledgeable mothers! Mothers have so many choices now.

 I find myself feeling guilty most of the times when I read about all the high aspirations of parenting methods. There are the Authentic Parenting style, the Natural Parents, and the Attachment Parenting websites. Unschooling dot com and Gentle Disciplining. Code Name Mama has even decided not to expose her child to the whole Santa myth, and her arguments are very sane.

Then the guilt tripping sets in. Maybe we should do it another way!? The green parents also make me wish I could be a better greenie!

I try most of the times just to juggle being a mother, and to work as well!

Sometimes we are so tired when we get home, we declare it a McD’s night out. Horrors, yes! We feed our children a McDonald’s hamburger every now and then. I even ask for the toy that comes with the food because I think it is some of the cutest toys ever. Now I hear it encourages bad eating habits... Guilty!

We do Christmas with Santa because we think it is a whole lot of fun! And it cultivates a special family tradition for the little one.

Luckily we also get validation of some of our parenting styles. Sometimes when the baby (now toddler) is more in our bed, I think about all the benefits of co-sleeping and don’t stress about it. The same with spanking which we don’t do – gentle disciplining takes care of that!

The other day I thought to myself that one of my New Year’s resolutions should be that I should relax about my own parenting style. I am an ordinary mother trying to juggle life! I try to aspire to be more mother and parent and working mother, but I give myself permission to just be ordinary. Sometimes I will live up to my aspirations, sometimes not. I love reading and will keep on reading about all those great parenting styles!

Now I am an ordinary working mother. That is totally OKAY for me!