Breastfeeding until five and a half years. It's possible!

#TBT - Breastfeeding in public 

This is World Breastfeeding Week! I am still an advocate for breastfeeding as long as possible! I do believe that the nutrients our babies get are the best from breast milk that are automatically adapted to suit their age, health and even gender!

I never wrote the post about the end of our breastfeeding journey. It must be that it was such a gradual process of weaning that one day I just realized that she did not ask for it anymore. It was also sad and the end of our special bonding time! But we had five and half years, which made me forty-six-years (46) of age when we stopped. (I am putting up the numbers to see that it is possible! Older moms can do it as well!)

School readiness results

The school readiness results did not come back as positive as expected.

We will probably go to an occupational therapist, as well as an optometrist as suggested!

With hindsight I should have gone to the occupational therapist in the first place, and not "waste" my money and time at a educational psychologist.
I got the reference from parents at school, and did not think twice...


Little Missy also did a few unexpected things that could have impacted on the advice:
(As they do!)

- She brought a teddy bear along to the session. She hardly ever plays with her bears, and only once or twice slept with one of them.
There is no favourite bear that goes around with us, such as the blanket that her sister carried around.
But it definitely had an impact on the assessment, and the bear was mentioned a couple of times by the psychologist.

- She drew a terrible self-portrait of only a half person, with no facial features. And announced that it was enough for that picture for the day.
Her pictures are usually the most colourful and I like to share them because I think they are very good!
(See the picture on top.)

- She told the psychologist that her secret is that she was still drinking "Boobies" until quite recently. It was never a secret in our house, or to the outside world.
It seems that this confirms to the psychologist that she is still emotionally not ready, although I personally (and Natural/Attachment parents) think that it breeds a very emotional strong and resilient person! (As well as a HEALTHY person!)

- She also admitted to manipulate us with her tantrums, until we give in to her demands!
When do we give in to her demands?
The fact that she is able to verbalise and knows what she is doing, is telling me that she is already able to control her tantrums.

- She was also only able to sit still for 15 minutes, before she got bored. In the written feedback it even says 20 minutes.
I think it is quite a long time for a little person to sit still? Maybe the stuff got boring?

- She also told the psychologist that we still sleep with her. It is true in part because we lay with her in her bed until she falls asleep. But then we get up again.. And then we only go to her at night when she calls, and sometimes falling asleep with her!
It is a parenting style that we as parents are both happy with!
It seems that the psychologist thinks we are still baby-ing her, and therefore she is not emotionally ready!


I know that the psychologist only got to see her for a an hour and a half.
We will not only base our decision on her inputs, but what we get from the OT's assessments.

Doing my bit for World Breastfeeding

World Breastfeeding Week 2013 was from 1 to 7 August this year, but it is never too late not a good time to talk about breastfeeding.

The theme this year was "Breastfeeding Support: Close to Mothers"- all about the support for the mother from the closer to the wider circles in her community, to enable her to have a good breastfeeding experience and relationship with her baby.

Most often we do not find enough support to help us keep going...

My own experience with my first-born was very traumatic, because I had to take her off the breast at four months when I went back to work. She was one of the few ones who completely refused a bottle! I still think that if I had better support, I could have made a plan!

With Little Missy the second time around I knew I had to try something else, but fortunately she did not have a problem with taking the bottle as well. We could give a bottle with expressed milk to the day care, and later on we sent the tinned milk to day care.
I had a goal of going back to work, while still expressing, and kept that up until 9 months.
My next goal was one year, and we just continued from there...

Nobody was as surprised as me, but at 4 years and 7 months she is still breastfeeding.
I am breastfeeding a preschooler!

Sometimes she will skip days, but sometimes she will ask for more than once a day.
I do not offer it to her, and sometimes distracts her when we are in a public area. Until we get home!
I just don't have it in me to breastfeed in public any more.
I can see that there are raised eyebrows when I mention that we are still continuing with it.... (*Smile*)

I am waiting for her to wean herself!

It is still working for her, and therefore it is still working for me.
There is definitely a huge component of comfort that she gets from it, and I think that is why she never picked up the habit of a thumb, or a blankie. (Which the elder sister did!)
She is also very healthy, and did not have the expected grommets and adenoids that comes with going to day care.

Little Missy does not like drinking cow's milk (and very little milkshake), and that's another reason I think it is still good for her to get some extra immunity...

She has already thrown away her bottles, and all too soon this will also pass!

From the Surprised Lactivist (me); it is possible to continue with this relationship until your child is ready to wean.
They won't be hanging 24/7 on your breasts when they are older, so don't be worried! (*Wink smile!)


Keep calm, and breastfeed on....


Photo: Patrick Pretorius

Crazy parenting advice

What is some of the craziest parenting advice you ever received?

(Question from “For my children, a mother’s journal of memories, wishes and wisdom” – compiled by Dionna Ford of  Code Name Mama)

The first four points are mine:

1. To stop breastfeeding before baby is able to talk. (Still breastfeeding at four years.)

2. To not spoil my baby by picking her up when she cries.

3. To start solids with rice cereal. (Which I did, regrettably!)

4. To not read any parenting magazines or information. So as not to be overwhelmed by all the information out there, and/or to get an inferior attitude with regards own parenting.

5. To not let your children sleep in your bed. (Added by Hubby!)


Did you receive any crazy advice?


Related post:

For my children - a keepsake

Keep breastfeeding... on

The Toddler announced on Tuesday afternoon that she is not going to breastfeed any more!
At 39 months (3 years and 3 months!!) it is not a surprise, but it was the first time that she told me this!

"I am a big girl! I am too big for boobies!"
I told her it is fine, but she can still have the "boobies" when she wants it!

She went to sleep again after that while breastfeeding, and last night again...
But I think it won't be long from now! We will see! ;-)

I am still the the surprised lactivist, but it has been one of the best things I could have done for my daughter!
So, breastfeeding on!

Dionna at Code Name Mama made a list of 9 ways Google can help to normalize breastfeeding in society.
I love her suggestion for a Google doodle, especially.

She has made a suggestion of how we all can become involved.
She has put up an email that can be copied and sent to Google to highlight the plight of normalizing breastfeeding in society.
Hopefully it will put it on their radar the more people got involved!
(I have emailed my copy already!)

Please send yours as well. The copy can be found here:
9 ways Google can help us normalize breastfeeding

Thanks Dionna!

The surprised lactivist

Lactivist = lactation + activist


“Breastfeeding is a natural event and should be treated as such. Let's reclaim the life-giving tradition of nursing!” Lactivist

I am as surprised as anybody else that I am still breastfeeding. It works! Very well!

I never considered to breastfeed as long, as I had certain goal posts in mind, such as 6 weeks, 6 months, 1 year, and it just kept on shifting it further away…


In the meantime I gained more knowledge, such as:

- Breast milk adapts to baby’s and toddler’s needs. It does not diminish in nutritional value; to the contrary!

- Children get more intelligent the longer they breastfeed. (Yes!)

- Breast milk helps with keeping the immunity high!

- It is possible to get pregnant while breastfeeding.

- It is possible to breastfeed while pregnant.

- It is possible to tandem breastfeed a baby and a toddler.


The last three facts are fascinating to me, because it is not something that gets told in our Western Society. I know of many mothers who stop breastfeeding to get pregnant again.

I have come to cherish the breastfeeding relationship with my toddler as one of the best things I can do for her. It builds our relationship. It nurtures her into a strong independent human being. She does not have separation anxiety, or extra crutches such as dummies and blankets. (My teen had all the extra gadgets! I had to wean her when she was four months old when she did not want to take the bottle.) The best; she is very healthy! She did not get the flu this winter! (You go away, Murphy!)

With this I also do not want to make anyone feeling guilty. (Please, we have enough of that already!)

I just want it to become a possibility again in our society. It is acceptable and desirable to breast feed your baby and toddler for as long as they need it. We need to give the following generations a new mindset of thinking. Breastfeeding is better, and longer is even better! And it is not something to frown about, but something to aspire to!

By breastfeeding now for as long as possible, I am teaching my teen and my toddler that is a very viable option when they are going to have children. It only takes a generation to change a mindset!

[I am a lactivist! (You go, Powerwoman!) Wink smile]

Breastfeeding the toddler in public

It is not something that happens very often. To breastfeed the Toddler in a public place is some sort of coup d’état! It is a major feat!

We usually try to distract the Toddler when she asks to breastfeed in a public place, until we get home... But sometimes I have to oblige.

It is not that I do not want to breastfeed her when she wants it, but the photos show some of the difficulties. I do not carry the button “I breastfeed in Public” without a reason on my blog. I do believe that breastfeeding should happen anywhere and any place, but we are stuck in a culture where it is not openly done, and where breastfeeding a “Toddler” is also not a commonplace occurrence. I do hope that we will change our thinking about the most natural thing in the world... To breastfeed our babies with 100% perfect nourishment for as long as they want!

I am a somewhat undercover breastfeeding mum in public (meant literally)! I usually carry a scarf with me to cover up! See the little hand; and it is busy the whole time. Also trying to grab the scarf and pulling it down!

As long as it is still working for me and for her, I will continue. I no longer have a cut-off date! I do think it is very beneficial to her. She does not get sick very often, and when she does, it is not in the extreme... There is also nothing more comforting than still being able to calm her when she is upset. Nothing is as special as the ten minutes in the morning before we rush out of the door, or coming home at night, and sitting with her while breastfeeding...

Breastfeeding the Two-year old Toddler

When breastfeeding you try to make it past the six week mark. Then you say six months. Then you say we’ll see how far we can take it. One year is a good age to have come. And then you continue to the two-year mark. We’ve reached it!

Why stop something when it works so well? Because it does! Really really well. It stays the best way to get the toddler to sleep or to calm her or soothe her.

The Toddler started with a new class at school, and she does not get any milk bottles anymore at school. Last year she got two milk bottles and a juice bottle as well! She now gets a sports bottle to drink from.

It is such a big change for a little one!

When I go to fetch her now, she starts asking for “booby”, and usually breastfeeds when we get home. I am glad that I can still provide the comfort and sustenance that only breastfeeding brings. That’s one of the reasons I am glad that I did not stop at the two-year mark!

It is a different kind of special feeding the two-year old Toddler. We usually have a conversation going, and she declares quite regularly that it is her “boobies”. She is now in the assignment phase. She wants to know what belongs to whom?  “Mieka s’n!”

We are now in unchartered territories! (For me, it seems!) There are lots and lots of mothers who keep on breastfeeding; even tandem breastfeeding twins and siblings! I did not think it was possible, but thanks to the world of information at our fingertips we are not in the dark ages anymore. We are not dependent on old wives tales or the unknowledgeable remarks of other people!

I sometimes get a strange remark or a lifted eyebrow, but I only smile and keep on doing what is best for the toddler and me!


Related posts:

Positives and negatives of breastfeeding the toddler

Breastfeeding the toddler - so special

Extended breastfeeding

Nearly two

Our little toddler turns two in two days time! Unbelievable!

When birthdays come around, it makes you think of the time around the birth, and how excited we were to meet her! It was a very difficult time, mostly because of the sleep deprivation, but it was one of those truly awe inspiring live-changing events of our lives. I feel the same about the birth of the teen as well!
I will be writing Mieka’s birth story very soon. It needs to be written before we forget about it...

The toddler at two years of age:

• She uses two to three word sentences. She repeats everything we say to her.

• She loves loves playing with dolls. She spends the most of her time dressing (more undressing) the dolls, and wrapping them and cuddling them.

• She climbs the stairs all by herself. We usually try to follow right behind her, but today she climbed them on her own. We got a big fright when we realised she went up to her big sister! Scary! But “tick” – She climbs the stairs!

• She “makes coffee” for us with her stacking cups and stirs it with a hammer. (The tea set for her birthday is going to be a big hit!)

• I have said before that I think the toddler is the cutest ever now at two! She wraps our faces in her hands, and gives us big kisses, and rolls her face over our faces! That is the most love –inspiring act that makes us want to eat her up as well!

• Luckily it seems that the toddler is not a morning person.  She stays sleeping with us until eight over weekends or when we can.  (The next two weeks of holidays are definitely going to be bliss.) As long as she gets her “booby” she is fine!

• Breastfeeding until she is two years of age. I have these goals when to stop breastfeeding, but it seems that BF just works better and better for us! I am just as surprised as everybody else that I am still breastfeeding the toddler. (Big smile!)

Code Name Mama asked last week on Twitter for one reason why we love being a parent, and I replied that I love seeing the new personality develops!  At two the personality is really starting to show! It definitely is an adventure!

Extended Breastfeeding

There are many names for it. Breastfeeding the toddler. Breastfeeding past infancy. Extended breastfeeding.


When you are pregnant, or just had your little one, you only think of getting past the soreness and the 24/7 constant latching. No, at first you are only worried about getting it right, and being able to breastfeed. Your first goal is the 6 week mark, and after that you try to continue to 3 months. Then 6 months. Somewhere you realise that it has become easier, and you continue... until the next goal. One year. Two years!

And now I am contemplating going for longer... Until the toddler tells me that it is finished!

We have accomplished so much with regards to health and the medical science, but we still reach too easily for the formula. We know for a fact that it is better to breastfeed. Better for the baby, and better for the mother. But why is it that it is not a standard way of doing things? That we not know before the time that is how it is supposed to be? We have somehow lost touch with what comes natural. We think that it is okay that our children are able to survive on second-hand milk (chemicals), and don’t contemplate the effects on them.

I am very sorry already that I gave in to the occasional bottle when it was not necessary. I should not have gone the formula route when it was too early. I was also worried about the baby going to day care, and that she would not accept a bottle...

Our bodies are able and well adapted to sustain our babies well into toddlerhood. I know now to trust my “booboos” (as Mieka calls it now), and not to worry that it is not “enough”.

I will continue as is and show – just by doing it – that it’s the easiest way for baby way past toddlerhood. Your milk does not lose its healthy properties. Quite the opposite! The health benefits for the mother also increases, such as less incidences of breast cancer. Today we have information at our typing tips, and we can enlighten ourselves as we go along!

I cherish the breastfeeding moments with my toddler. Silently I have become a lactivist, a word that I did not know existed before I was breastfeeding my toddler. I want everybody to know that it is the easiest and most precious time you have with your little one!

It goes by in a *FLASH*! (I will remember the special times!)

Related posts:

Breastfeedng past infancy - very special

The joys of breastfeeding a toddler (guest post)