Doing my bit for World Breastfeeding

World Breastfeeding Week 2013 was from 1 to 7 August this year, but it is never too late not a good time to talk about breastfeeding.

The theme this year was "Breastfeeding Support: Close to Mothers"- all about the support for the mother from the closer to the wider circles in her community, to enable her to have a good breastfeeding experience and relationship with her baby.

Most often we do not find enough support to help us keep going...

My own experience with my first-born was very traumatic, because I had to take her off the breast at four months when I went back to work. She was one of the few ones who completely refused a bottle! I still think that if I had better support, I could have made a plan!

With Little Missy the second time around I knew I had to try something else, but fortunately she did not have a problem with taking the bottle as well. We could give a bottle with expressed milk to the day care, and later on we sent the tinned milk to day care.
I had a goal of going back to work, while still expressing, and kept that up until 9 months.
My next goal was one year, and we just continued from there...

Nobody was as surprised as me, but at 4 years and 7 months she is still breastfeeding.
I am breastfeeding a preschooler!

Sometimes she will skip days, but sometimes she will ask for more than once a day.
I do not offer it to her, and sometimes distracts her when we are in a public area. Until we get home!
I just don't have it in me to breastfeed in public any more.
I can see that there are raised eyebrows when I mention that we are still continuing with it.... (*Smile*)

I am waiting for her to wean herself!

It is still working for her, and therefore it is still working for me.
There is definitely a huge component of comfort that she gets from it, and I think that is why she never picked up the habit of a thumb, or a blankie. (Which the elder sister did!)
She is also very healthy, and did not have the expected grommets and adenoids that comes with going to day care.

Little Missy does not like drinking cow's milk (and very little milkshake), and that's another reason I think it is still good for her to get some extra immunity...

She has already thrown away her bottles, and all too soon this will also pass!

From the Surprised Lactivist (me); it is possible to continue with this relationship until your child is ready to wean.
They won't be hanging 24/7 on your breasts when they are older, so don't be worried! (*Wink smile!)


Keep calm, and breastfeed on....


Photo: Patrick Pretorius

Stuff you would think that should not be around by age 3

Don’t we all smile to ourselves when we realize that our preconceived ideas about time-spans and our children does not comply with the books?

And why should it?

Things I thought that would not be around by age three:

-    Breastfeeding. I wished to get past the first six weeks, and here I am at nearly three...
I still wish to continue, but it seems that it is sadly going to come to an end because of the cholesterol issue. (I feel very sad about this! How am I going to tell the face it is finished?)

-    The bottle is also a firm favourite when she wants her Nido milk. We have about one working bottle left at his stage.

-    The donut. For playing, sleeping, eating, drinking, watching television and doing acrobatics... It gets used for everything. (One of the must-have items when buying for baby!)

-    The potty – it only go dumped two weeks back, but we still use it as a stepping stool for the toilet and for washing hands.

What have you used for much longer?

Challenge: Breastfeeding story in 100 words

I picked up this challenge at Authentic Parenting, which is done by Amber from Nourish.

Amber believes that society does not allow us to be open about breastfeeding and that we often have to walk this road alone. By sharing our stories, it becomes a collective story which empowers us all!

Stories can be submitted until 1 September.

100 words about my journey as a breastfeeding mother

I could breastfeed my first child for four months, but she did not want to take a bottle at the day mother when I had to return to work! We tried all the tricks in the book!

I had to wean her, and it was 36 hours of total trauma to us both!

15 years later I had my second child, and set small goals to myself. Six months turned into one year, turning into nearly three years now! My toddler still seeks the comfort and nourishment and I am grateful for the most precious times with her!

The surprised lactivist

Lactivist = lactation + activist


“Breastfeeding is a natural event and should be treated as such. Let's reclaim the life-giving tradition of nursing!” Lactivist

I am as surprised as anybody else that I am still breastfeeding. It works! Very well!

I never considered to breastfeed as long, as I had certain goal posts in mind, such as 6 weeks, 6 months, 1 year, and it just kept on shifting it further away…


In the meantime I gained more knowledge, such as:

- Breast milk adapts to baby’s and toddler’s needs. It does not diminish in nutritional value; to the contrary!

- Children get more intelligent the longer they breastfeed. (Yes!)

- Breast milk helps with keeping the immunity high!

- It is possible to get pregnant while breastfeeding.

- It is possible to breastfeed while pregnant.

- It is possible to tandem breastfeed a baby and a toddler.


The last three facts are fascinating to me, because it is not something that gets told in our Western Society. I know of many mothers who stop breastfeeding to get pregnant again.

I have come to cherish the breastfeeding relationship with my toddler as one of the best things I can do for her. It builds our relationship. It nurtures her into a strong independent human being. She does not have separation anxiety, or extra crutches such as dummies and blankets. (My teen had all the extra gadgets! I had to wean her when she was four months old when she did not want to take the bottle.) The best; she is very healthy! She did not get the flu this winter! (You go away, Murphy!)

With this I also do not want to make anyone feeling guilty. (Please, we have enough of that already!)

I just want it to become a possibility again in our society. It is acceptable and desirable to breast feed your baby and toddler for as long as they need it. We need to give the following generations a new mindset of thinking. Breastfeeding is better, and longer is even better! And it is not something to frown about, but something to aspire to!

By breastfeeding now for as long as possible, I am teaching my teen and my toddler that is a very viable option when they are going to have children. It only takes a generation to change a mindset!

[I am a lactivist! (You go, Powerwoman!) Wink smile]

Breastfeeding the toddler in public

It is not something that happens very often. To breastfeed the Toddler in a public place is some sort of coup d’état! It is a major feat!

We usually try to distract the Toddler when she asks to breastfeed in a public place, until we get home... But sometimes I have to oblige.

It is not that I do not want to breastfeed her when she wants it, but the photos show some of the difficulties. I do not carry the button “I breastfeed in Public” without a reason on my blog. I do believe that breastfeeding should happen anywhere and any place, but we are stuck in a culture where it is not openly done, and where breastfeeding a “Toddler” is also not a commonplace occurrence. I do hope that we will change our thinking about the most natural thing in the world... To breastfeed our babies with 100% perfect nourishment for as long as they want!

I am a somewhat undercover breastfeeding mum in public (meant literally)! I usually carry a scarf with me to cover up! See the little hand; and it is busy the whole time. Also trying to grab the scarf and pulling it down!

As long as it is still working for me and for her, I will continue. I no longer have a cut-off date! I do think it is very beneficial to her. She does not get sick very often, and when she does, it is not in the extreme... There is also nothing more comforting than still being able to calm her when she is upset. Nothing is as special as the ten minutes in the morning before we rush out of the door, or coming home at night, and sitting with her while breastfeeding...

Breastfeeding the Two-year old Toddler

When breastfeeding you try to make it past the six week mark. Then you say six months. Then you say we’ll see how far we can take it. One year is a good age to have come. And then you continue to the two-year mark. We’ve reached it!

Why stop something when it works so well? Because it does! Really really well. It stays the best way to get the toddler to sleep or to calm her or soothe her.

The Toddler started with a new class at school, and she does not get any milk bottles anymore at school. Last year she got two milk bottles and a juice bottle as well! She now gets a sports bottle to drink from.

It is such a big change for a little one!

When I go to fetch her now, she starts asking for “booby”, and usually breastfeeds when we get home. I am glad that I can still provide the comfort and sustenance that only breastfeeding brings. That’s one of the reasons I am glad that I did not stop at the two-year mark!

It is a different kind of special feeding the two-year old Toddler. We usually have a conversation going, and she declares quite regularly that it is her “boobies”. She is now in the assignment phase. She wants to know what belongs to whom?  “Mieka s’n!”

We are now in unchartered territories! (For me, it seems!) There are lots and lots of mothers who keep on breastfeeding; even tandem breastfeeding twins and siblings! I did not think it was possible, but thanks to the world of information at our fingertips we are not in the dark ages anymore. We are not dependent on old wives tales or the unknowledgeable remarks of other people!

I sometimes get a strange remark or a lifted eyebrow, but I only smile and keep on doing what is best for the toddler and me!


Related posts:

Positives and negatives of breastfeeding the toddler

Breastfeeding the toddler - so special

Extended breastfeeding

Positives and negatives of breastfeeding the toddler – update

I am updating my earlier post of Breastfeeding the toddler positives and negatives. The post gets a lot of traffic from keyword searches.

The toddler is nearly 23 months – ten months on from the previous post – and it is going even better with breastfeeding. I find that we have established a rhythm and communication with regards breastfeeding.

She asks for “boo-boo” when she needs it. She looks in my eyes and plays with my hair and face, and we share a special “joke” between us. There is always something to share between us. I absolutely love this special relationship we have!

The toddler slept through last night, and I had to wake her this morning. Usually she wakes up a bit before we have to get up, and she snuggles and breastfeed until I have to get up. I missed it this morning …

Positives in continuing with breastfeeding:

• The toddler gets the best nutrition possible. Breast milk continues to provide everything that the toddler needs. (Not so formula.)
• Bonding time with the toddler is continuing. (I find the time with her to be extra EXTRA special.)
• Breastfeeding is a soothing and calming mechanism.
• The toddler does not use a dummy at all.
• We don’t have to prepare bottles with formula, especially at night when she sometimes wakes up. That is a big help!
• We keep on saving on formula.
• Breastfeeding is good for Mother as well. I get some extra protection against certain cancers.
• I am able to continuing working and still breastfeed late afternoon and during the night.
• We can leave the toddler for a longer period with other people. We have been away for a weekend (that fabulous Cruise weekend). The milk supply/breasts adapt accordingly.

Negatives in continuing with breastfeeding:

• It is sometimes difficult to get the toddler to stay focused while breastfeeding. The more awake she is, the more she wants to drink-stop-talk-look-around-drink and again. (Luckily when she is tired, it is no problem at all.)
• I am able to breastfeed in public. I use a blanket, but have to make sure her head is not covered, or she opens up everything. It is a bit of a struggle!
• I need to be in the vicinity when the toddler needs her feed, especially during the night.
• It is a struggle to sooth the toddler with a bottle. It does not always work when Dad tries.
• The toddler sometimes grinds with her teeth when she falls asleep. (But she has never hurt me.)

That’s all the negatives I can think of. There are definitely more positives for all of us!

I am continuing with breastfeeding. Now the 2 year milestone is drawing near. I read of so many mothers who are breastfeeding their toddlers long past infancy.
For now it works for me and for the toddler!

Related posts:
Breastfeeding the toddler - so special
Extended breastfeeding

(Photo: Mieka drinking from a sippy cup)

Breastfeeding the toddler - so special

Who would have thought that breastfeeding your toddler is such a pleasure? You don’t contemplate going past that first few weeks breastfeeding, and then you pat yourself on the back after the first six weeks.

We are now past 21 weeks, and the two year goal post is around the corner. It has gone by too quickly! I also treasure breastfeeding much more because she is my last baby. Boo-hoo! That is also something to feel nostalgic about... Being an older mom does not have any impact on breastfeeding as such, but I do think that it makes me treasure it even more.

Some precious moments when breastfeeding (BF):

• The toddler announces she wants some “Boo-Boo” when she wants to BF. (The “Boo-Boo” comes from “booby”) I also ask her: Do you want some “Mama’s milk?” She knows when she wants it, or not. Sometimes the bottle gets preference.

• There is nothing as special as going to sleep with her, BF in my arms.

• BF at night saves us lots of energy and time. She goes back to sleep in no time. Translated: we goes back to sleep in no time. (At this stage it happens about once or sometimes just before the alarm bell goes at five in the morning.)

• We get lots of special eye contact when she BF. That big special eyes looking so innocently at you – I always try to smile, and reassure her, and BEING with her in the moment!

• She points to the other breast, and asks “Boo-Boo”? I have to acknowledge each and every time: “Yes, it’s Mama’s Boo-Boo.” (Establishing the own identity?)

• She wants to shift regularly from one breast to the other. I can’t get her to keep on nursing on one breast when she has made up her mind to change. (Smile)

• One “irritating” thing – she loves holding and poking the other nipple while BF. I saw that it is quite a common thing with toddlers. It makes it even more difficult to BF in public.

• We don’t even try BF in public nowadays, because the blanket is a no-go. She just throws it off. And she does not BF in one go. No, it is sip-sip, asking a question, looking around, sip-sip again, changing sides... It does not really work to have it all hang out! (Smile!)

I would not want to change a thing! I recommend breastfeeding past infancy to anyone. I read a study last week that the benefits of BF past infancy with regards to healthy children only extend to sole BF. Not when formula is used as well!

Well, if then only for the relationship between mother and toddler... I am sure that it is worth it in the end!

Related posts:

Extended breastfeeding

Breastfeeding past infancy

The joys of breastfeeding a toddler (guest post)

Extended Breastfeeding

There are many names for it. Breastfeeding the toddler. Breastfeeding past infancy. Extended breastfeeding.


When you are pregnant, or just had your little one, you only think of getting past the soreness and the 24/7 constant latching. No, at first you are only worried about getting it right, and being able to breastfeed. Your first goal is the 6 week mark, and after that you try to continue to 3 months. Then 6 months. Somewhere you realise that it has become easier, and you continue... until the next goal. One year. Two years!

And now I am contemplating going for longer... Until the toddler tells me that it is finished!

We have accomplished so much with regards to health and the medical science, but we still reach too easily for the formula. We know for a fact that it is better to breastfeed. Better for the baby, and better for the mother. But why is it that it is not a standard way of doing things? That we not know before the time that is how it is supposed to be? We have somehow lost touch with what comes natural. We think that it is okay that our children are able to survive on second-hand milk (chemicals), and don’t contemplate the effects on them.

I am very sorry already that I gave in to the occasional bottle when it was not necessary. I should not have gone the formula route when it was too early. I was also worried about the baby going to day care, and that she would not accept a bottle...

Our bodies are able and well adapted to sustain our babies well into toddlerhood. I know now to trust my “booboos” (as Mieka calls it now), and not to worry that it is not “enough”.

I will continue as is and show – just by doing it – that it’s the easiest way for baby way past toddlerhood. Your milk does not lose its healthy properties. Quite the opposite! The health benefits for the mother also increases, such as less incidences of breast cancer. Today we have information at our typing tips, and we can enlighten ourselves as we go along!

I cherish the breastfeeding moments with my toddler. Silently I have become a lactivist, a word that I did not know existed before I was breastfeeding my toddler. I want everybody to know that it is the easiest and most precious time you have with your little one!

It goes by in a *FLASH*! (I will remember the special times!)

Related posts:

Breastfeedng past infancy - very special

The joys of breastfeeding a toddler (guest post)

Cuddle at bedtime or cry-it-out babies

The latest research published about babies and sleep has again made me aware that we have been doing it right! Huge sigh of relief! We have not been doing the crying method with regards to sleep. When Mieka cries, we attend to her. We stay with her, and I nurse her, until she falls asleep. It feels right! It feels like the humane thing to do! But we (even ourselves who sometimes put the own barrier on our thinking) get feedback, even when she was very small, that you should let them cry, or not get used to your arms. Or you will have a spoilt baby…


That standard question that you get asked, especially when they are small little babies: “Is she a good baby?” As opposed to “Naughty”? What is that? Because they are more awake, and demand more of your attention, then the assumption is that she is naughty? And when you are sleep-deprived because of nightly wakings, then you are somehow doing something wrong?

Maybe it is something that goes into default mode. Default mode to parenting styles which was the in-thing when we were growing up. I even made the “mistake”, for the sake of peace in my previous life, to let my first-born cry after she was put down. (The teen has got ONE valid reason already when she blames her parents one day at the psychologist.) I cringe now, but at the time I had to please a jealous husband…

Penn State researcher Douglas Teti “examined the role of emotional availability on infant sleep” by putting in cameras in the bedrooms of babies between one month to 24 months.

He found:

• Regardless of a family’s night-time routine: parents who were responsive and warm had fewer night wakings and an easier time drifting off. It makes the child feel safe and secure!
• Scepticism towards sleep training: 1. it does not work! 2. It affects the parent-child relationship itself.

Now I know why it didn’t feel right to pat the baby, NOT look at her, and leave the room, and let them cry for a while before going back in. Still not making eye-contact! (It’s cruel! – my personal view!)

It gets better! Even though we had a bad night last night where Mieka just would not settle (I blame the five o’clock nap she got in the car), she mostly goes to sleep within 20 minutes when she is healthy.

All this too will pass, and we will definitely miss that small little body throwing her legs across us when lying next to us in bed…