Friday, 6 August 2010

Handling disappointments

The teen was extremely upset and disappointed this week! As parents we want to buffer them against all of life’s upheavals, but unfortunately we can’t “fix” everything. And the point is; we’ve got to let them learn how to deal with less-than-desirable circumstances.

That’s what life is all about! Unfortunately!

The student representative council was selected at school. It is a voting system, and only the children take part in it. The teen did not get enough votes. We spoke about it before the time, and decided that it would be a good thing if she was not selected. Then she can devote all her time next year (grade 12) to her studies…

But it seems that she secretly hoped to be selected. All her friends were chosen, and she was one of the only ones left seated among them when they were called out. It was a huge shock to her, and she has been crying since then.

It did not make it better when the teachers and principal called her in to tell her how disappointed they were that she was not selected. What does that help?

It does not seem like a fair system where only the students have a say, and the teachers do not have an input. In my time the teachers had all the input! That’s the story! Life is not fair, and we’ve got to deal with it!

My poor baby! My heart aches for her. I tried to tell her that it matters now how she deals with it. She can lift her head up high, and make a difference. Or she can go and sulk in a corner… What does she choose?

Related posts:

The duality of teen

Secret lives of teen

Playing Follow Friday. See Java at Never Growing Old for the rules:

Happy weekend! :D


  1. Oh man, am sure your heart breaks for her.

    In my day the SRC - the Student Rep Council also selected the members - and that was 20yrs ago so its not a new system at all.

    The disappointment can be crushing although character building. :-/

  2. The whole school votes, not only the SRC.
    Yes, I feel extremely sorry for her! :-(

  3. Ai, I feel so sorry for her, but exactly the same thing happened to me years ago. That's when I got into my own space, slightly off the norm, but my own being. It was a good thing in the end. It gave me the time to devote to my art and find my future.

    Poor bunny - give her a hug for me please.And tell her that maybe 2 odd years on she will know it was for the better.

  4. I am following from Friday Follow Over 40.

    Great blog!!! Hope you stop by and see me soon. Terry

    My Journey With Candida

  5. My sister went through the same disappointment as a high school student! It was so hard to watch her suffer. She did everything right and tried so hard to fit in and be an example to others! Being on this council was almost like an acknowledgment and acceptance of her as a person and not being picked; a personal rejection. You are not good enough!

    I on the other hand did not want to be on the student council. I was a very popular kid, but rebellious and not very compliant. I wanted to do what I want when I want. Come to think of it, some things have still not changed! LOL!

  6. Stopping by from 40 and over to say hello.

    Have a great day!

  7. I’m your newest follower from Over 40 Bloggers. I feel sad for your daughter - and I can totally relate! Even though my children were homeschooled, they went through their share of disappointments as competitive figure skaters. I actually started my blog to encourage other parents of athletes through the disappointments. Fortunately, the character building that comes from trying hard and persevering (even when the results aren’t always perfect) makes it all worthwhile.

  8. Hi, I'm stopping by from Friday Follow. So sorry about your daughter's disappointment. How well I remember those days with my own children! Life is not so easy sometimes...but it works out in the end--usually.

  9. Coming by from Friday Follow! I also have a 17 year old but she is the baby of the bunch. Can't imagine having a baby now!
    Teenage disappointments can seem SO earth shattering at the time, only to find out that next week, year or month it was not a big deal. You can't tell them that though!

  10. HI
    joining u now and following.
    I am a SAHM for the 2nd time around. I have a 15 yr old girl, 13 yr old boy and 2 yr old boy.

    Looking forward to following ur blog. Nice to find someone who has teens and toddlers. Parenting at both ends of the scale has its challenges as I am sure u know.


  11. Such a disappointment but that is not who or what defines you! Just makes her more unique and special. Not everyone can be voted and it's a hard lesson but also gives you confidence in your own future. Not to rely on other's vote or count but your own doing!

    Just be the best at being yourself!

    Fortunately I didn't want to be on any of these councils.


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