Thursday, 16 September 2010

The toddler and socialising

The working mother always stresses about leaving her child in day care. But one thing she doesn’t have to worry about is the socialising of the child. Day care or crèche or play school takes care of all the socialising needs of the baby, toddler and pre-schooler. Dionna at Code Name Mama reminded me again today that that is something that a SAHM (Stay-at-home-mom) have to be more aware off to ensure that their child is getting socialising skills. Maxabella also had something to say about mixing mamahood and work today - you have to deal wih the guilt that is a "permanent lodger".

Something that a working mother can check off! My toddler learns to socialise every day at day care! (Smug smile!)

On Tuesday I took the toddler and myself to the doctor. This year I can’t seem to shake the allergic sinusitis that’s been bugging me. And the toddler also struggles with it. We coughed terribly during the nights. The doctor wanted to book us off for a few days, but there is too much to be done. I asked her if it was okay if I took the toddler to day care. She said that it is not the ultimate solution, but that she understands. She believes in children going to day care because it is the best for their socialising behaviour. They do get sick more often – usually every two months – but that is something that is sorted by the time they go to school.

But I still felt bad when I went to drop the toddler off after that at the day care... (The working mother’s guilt!)

I have a teen that had to go to a day mother (and after that crèche) since she was three months old. She is now one of the best well-adjusted children that I know with regards her socialising skills. She is relaxed in every socialising situation and keeps her own. She has a lot of friends and we usually marvel about how easy she talks to anybody! Not how I remember myself as a socially akward child and teen who struggled through her school years. Luckily it got better during university...

Mieka, the toddler, also gets along with adults very easily. She does not shy away when somebody wants to engage with her. When I walk with her into day care in the morning, she starts saying the names of some of her class mates. One of the favourites is Ané. I hope that she will also benefit socially like her sister did.

(Powerwoman does the right thing! Yes, I need some positiveness today!)

(Photo: Mieka at Tiny Tumbles on Saturday)

Related posts:
A day in the working mom
The toddler - day care shuffles
Day care woes


  1. My boys were 3 and 5 when I started working again...I remember that horrible feeling of guilt. Then this feeling would lead to me overcompensating for not always being is a vicious cycle.

  2. I hear what you say about SAHM having to work at getting their toddlers to socialise.
    After a gap of 10 yrs I dreaded Mother and Toddler groups again but have gone along for the benefit of the youngest.
    Now he has started pre-school (he will be 3 next week), not because I need him to go, but because he needs little people to socialise with.
    Like your little one, having teen siblings and no other little ones in his life he is very confident with adults, but his face lights up when he meets other little people.

    Although, the children of working mums are blessed with social skills due to daycare they may lack in confidence due to being away from mum so much. It is what works best for mum and child.


  3. I hope they don't lack too much confidence, Carol! My eldest doesn't lack confidence. I will check this out...


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