Ways to deal with the guilt of being a working mother

Powerwoman says enough is enough! Why do we have to feel guilty as working mothers when we have to leave our babies at someplace else when we go off to work? Some of us have a choice. Which is absolutely fine! Some of us don’t! Like me! I have to work to cover the finances...


I am compiling a silly (NOT!) list of ways dealing with working mother’s guilt:

• Take out your payslip (note, not bank statement) and check the amount you get every month! Say to yourself this is what you are giving back to your family.
• Buy your baby the expensive outfit when faced with choice.
• When you are asked about your career say smugly that you are a working mom! Expand laboriously about all the skills and experience that you have built up. (Do not let on that you are secretly wishing to be a SAHM...)
• Pour a glass of red wine at the end of a long working day! (You deserve it!)
• Linger over a cup of coffee... Whenever! Especially when at work!
• Spend some extra quality time with baby (toddler or child) when you arrive home. Do not immediately jump into house work, because the house is clean. (Supposed to, because nobody was at home to dirty it.)
• Think of all the extra social skills your child are acquiring while at day care!
• Pat yourself on the back! “Well done, working Mom!” Regularly!
• Enjoy your own enjoyment when you see the look of delight on your baby’s face when you go to pick them up after a long day!
• Cherish weekends with the baby! You are not feeling overwhelmed after a long week with children. You missed them during the week!
• Marvel at the fact that you don’t get impatient with the little ones when they get whiney! You have built up lots of patience by being away from them every day!
• You have a decent excuse when asked to do something at school! Use it!
• You can go shopping during lunch-time without a toddler in tow!
• You are able to meet a colleague/friend during lunch without having to drag the toddler with.
• When Hubby complains about his working day, you are able to complain about your own working day as well! “Mine was the worst!”
• You can expect Hubby to help out with ALL the housework! No sitting down with newspaper and beer /coffee for him after a long working day! No, Mister! (My Hubby does his fair share and more! Thanks, Dries!)
• Pat yourself on the back! Again! “Well done, working Mom!”

It seems that this is a work in progress! Do you have any other suggestions? (It is a lot of fun!)

Working Moms rock! (Smug smiley face!)

Related post:
A day in the working mom

How to make every moment count as a working mother - 5 tips

Being a working mother and juggling the rat race of city life are difficult, and I don't think we can have it all!
I am giving myself some grace as I am getting older and "wiser" (sic! Laughing at myself here!)
I try my best to make the moments count, and I do not beat myself up when I "fail"! I try harder the next time!

But there are definitely some ideas to consider to make moments count! Janice Windt, the managing director of The Working Mothers Expo, suggests 5 ways to make every moment count as a working mother.

1) Prioritise.  
What is most important to you? Do more of that and less of everything else...

2) Clear your diary. 
Just say no. Be on time for the kids. (It definitely goes with priorities and making your children the number 1 priority!)

3) Pause to breathe. 
Do the things that makes you happy, like reading, long baths or time-outs! Whatever!

4) Sing. 
The advice is to sing, even though you are not very good at it! My Little Miss does not appreciate my singing at all, and usually asks me to stop. But maybe it will work for you? ;-)

5) Sign up for the Working Mothers Expo VIP Waiting List and book your diaries for the  Working Mothers Expo, brought to you in partnership with MiWay Life, bringing together everything a working mother needs under one roof at the Sandton Convention Centre.


How do you make the moments count as a working mother?





Read more on this article: 5 Ways to make every moment count as a working mother

The Working Mothers Expo, brought to you in partnership with MiWay Life, brings together everything a working mother needs under one roof on 4-6 November at the Sandton Convention Centre.  Take a step back from your hectic schedule, make some time to reflect, hear an inspiring speaker, indulge in some retail therapy and connect with other working mothers. We would like to create some dedicated time in your schedule that is all about you.

A day in the life of Janice Windt, MD behind Working Mothers Expo

The Working Mothers Expo is around the corner. Janice Windt, the Founder and Managing Director behind the Expo, answered a few personal questions. I wanted to know more about her work-life, as well as how a normal day in her household looks like.

Janice Windt:

My normal day starts at about 4am, when I wake up to answer emails before hundreds more emails and calls start coming in again at 8am ;)  My husband takes the boys to school so that I can start my proper work day at 07h30 and work until 1pm when I fetch the boys from school.  Afternoons are all about them, which is such a privilege.  I try keep evenings for my husband and I and the result is that I sleep a lot less than I used to!  Even our accountants are worried about the hours I keep!  So yes, this is my only job.

I worked at an Investment Bank for ten years and left corporate in February 2015 to start the Working Mothers Expo.  It’s taken 18 months to get to this point and we are VERY excited to see what the response to our first event will be.   Our goal is to make the lives of working mothers easier by bringing together everything working mothers need under one roof.  Working mothers need to realise that they are not alone, get access to the help and inspiration they need and have a moment that is, quite simply, all about them. 

The idea for the Working Mothers Expo evolved out of the challenges I personally experienced as a working mom and also from the experiences I was privileged enough to learn about when I interviewed more than one hundred women from seventeen countries around the world for my blog. As I started speaking to other working mothers I’ve realised that many of us struggle with similar things. It’s a real privilege to be able to reach thousands of working mothers through the avenue of the Working Mothers Expo.  I’m very grateful.

The Working Mothers Expo, in partnership with MiWayLife, brings together everything working mothers need under one roof.
It will be on from 4-6 November 2016 at the Sandton Convention Centre. With world class products, services and speakers and great entertainment for your kids, this is an event not to be missed.
Tickets available at Computicket. 

5 Methods to slay Dust Bunnies

The working mom does not have lots of free time to give her undivided attention to the dust bunnies growing under the coaches and corners. The working mom also wants to prioritize her time at home into spending more time with the family.

During the holidays I saw some dust bunnies lurking around... The first time I became aware of them was when I was at varsity. We were supposed to clean our own rooms in the dormitories... Guess there was also much more pressing matters then that occupied our time!

There are 5 ways to slay the dust bunnies (short of actually cleaning):

• IGNORE! One of my best tactics with regards household chores! I can definitely recommend it!

• HIDE! A throw, for example, over the coach/bed helps to hide the dust bunnies underneath.

• CANDLES! When you get visitors, dim most of the lights and place a few candles. (You also save on electricity.)

• PICK UP THE LARGE DUST BUNNIES AND THROW THEM IN THE DUSTBIN. When they have grown large enough, it is easy to pick up when you pass a corner and they come scurrying out.

• TODDLER CRAWL- GAME.  I haven’t tried this one yet, but I will definitely instigate the game next time when I see a dust bunny peering from somewhere.  Make sure the toddler is covered in old/long-sleeve clothes! Ask her to retrieve a ball / doll / sweet (if the previous two options do not work) while crawling on all fours.

Do you have any good ways of slaying the dust bunnies?
A lazy working mom like me needs a number of options to fall back on when perfecting her Domestic Goddess status!

(Graphic: Microsoft clip art: bunny)

The toddler and socialising

The working mother always stresses about leaving her child in day care. But one thing she doesn’t have to worry about is the socialising of the child. Day care or crèche or play school takes care of all the socialising needs of the baby, toddler and pre-schooler. Dionna at Code Name Mama reminded me again today that that is something that a SAHM (Stay-at-home-mom) have to be more aware off to ensure that their child is getting socialising skills. Maxabella also had something to say about mixing mamahood and work today - you have to deal wih the guilt that is a "permanent lodger".

Something that a working mother can check off! My toddler learns to socialise every day at day care! (Smug smile!)

On Tuesday I took the toddler and myself to the doctor. This year I can’t seem to shake the allergic sinusitis that’s been bugging me. And the toddler also struggles with it. We coughed terribly during the nights. The doctor wanted to book us off for a few days, but there is too much to be done. I asked her if it was okay if I took the toddler to day care. She said that it is not the ultimate solution, but that she understands. She believes in children going to day care because it is the best for their socialising behaviour. They do get sick more often – usually every two months – but that is something that is sorted by the time they go to school.

But I still felt bad when I went to drop the toddler off after that at the day care... (The working mother’s guilt!)

I have a teen that had to go to a day mother (and after that crèche) since she was three months old. She is now one of the best well-adjusted children that I know with regards her socialising skills. She is relaxed in every socialising situation and keeps her own. She has a lot of friends and we usually marvel about how easy she talks to anybody! Not how I remember myself as a socially akward child and teen who struggled through her school years. Luckily it got better during university...

Mieka, the toddler, also gets along with adults very easily. She does not shy away when somebody wants to engage with her. When I walk with her into day care in the morning, she starts saying the names of some of her class mates. One of the favourites is Ané. I hope that she will also benefit socially like her sister did.

(Powerwoman does the right thing! Yes, I need some positiveness today!)

(Photo: Mieka at Tiny Tumbles on Saturday)

Related posts:
 
A day in the working mom
The toddler - day care shuffles
Day care woes

Girl talk - short video of toddler on cell

A day in the toddler:

"Hi, you can’t believe the day I had today!
Mom had to wake me up, and I did not want to open my eyes.
Myer at school gave me such a headache. He pestered me the whole time. I wanted to tell Mom and Sis when they came to fetch me, but all I could muster was “Meya, Myea, Meya…”

It was raining, and Mom had to run with me with an umbrella. I think it was quite a big deal, because Mom was singing and laughing while the rain made everything wet.
Yes,yes, yes…(nodding)
Dad was working late.
I wanted to walk around in the nude, but Mom said I could only help her with the dishes when I had my clothes on again.
I got everything wet, but that was the highlight of my day!
I wanted to play more in Arnia’s room, but she was very busy. I don’t think it was homework; it was that card for the boyfriend she is working on. They are going out for a year now!
Bath-time was nice, but I got upset with all the thunder! Mom had to take me out of the bath and cuddle me for a while.
I was very glad when Dad arrived, and we could play with the crayons for a while.
What a day!
Bye! Bye!"

Top 5 Apps for Busy Moms

I am always checking out new apps and got this guest post suggestion which I am happy to publish. Especially if it states  that it helps "busy moms.
(Although, I think it is an oxymoron! Do we get moms who are not busy?)

I have linked to the iTunes stores, but see most of these apps are avaliable on all devices.


The Top 5 Apps for Busy Moms

Our lives are much busier than they were even 20 years ago, and moms are busier than ever.
Many moms raise kids, work, and run their households, all while trying to live their own lives. Fortunately, cell phones are helpful for anyone with a life on the go. They help people stay connected, and with apps, help people complete their day to day tasks.

Thousands of cell phone apps exist that help people accomplish their goals, and here are the top 5 apps for busy moms like yourself.

The Weather Channel

It is pertinent for a busy mother to be prepared for anything. Every single mom should have the Weather Channel app - this is the perfect app to open up first thing in the morning. It allows you to display the current temperature, as well as the short- and long-term weather forecast. The app also allows you to get the weather forecast from wherever you are. Any busy mom who runs around all day needs to know the weather forecast in order to plan their (hopefully dry) day.

Cozi

This is a wonderful app for anyone who has a lot on their plate, but especially mothers. It's so useful that you may even end up grabbing for this app more often than you need the phone itself! It's great for making to-do lists, setting reminders, shopping lists & also the family calendar - this one is key too, because notice that it's for the family. This is different from most calendars, which are only meant for one person and their appointments.
 
Grocery iQ

This app is GREAT for mothers, especially because it's basically available on every platform you can imagine. It allows you to scan prices of products when shopping so that you can get clued in on what you're getting for your money. Is that cereal a bargain, or simply a crafty way of making it look like you're getting a steal? Find out with this app!
 

Whole Foods Market Recipes

Whole Foods Market Recipes is a terrific app for anyone who wants to enjoy a healthy diet. The best thing about this app is the ability to sort based upon dietary preference. The user can sort for gluten free recipes, high fiber recipes and many other types. Kids are picky too, so luckily this app can make everyone happy, especially a busy mom cooking for many.

Kindle

The Kindle app is a great app for the busy mom. A lot of times moms do not have time to enjoy themselves. With the Kindle app, a mom can read her favorite books while waiting to pick up her kids or in those few precious minutes of alone time. The Kindle app is also great to read recipes, pdf files or magazines. Anyone on the go should look into the Kindle app, and perhaps the best thing about is that if you skip buying hard-copies of books, you have more room for storage and less to clean!

Thousands and thousands of applications exist for all phone platforms. There are also apps for all types of users and preferences. Nobody knows the importance of time management more than a single mom.

These apps will not only save a single mom time, they will also save her money!


Jessie Hughes writes about parenting, working from home and more. Her favourite piece is on the Top 10 iPhone Apps for Teachers.


Do you have any apps that you cannot live without?

The things you do for your children

I have found myself in strange situations because of my child(ren). I am not the baking/sewing kind of mom, but I have found myself at school in a kitchen helping out with food. Or washing large stacks of table cloths and ironing it. For the school! And afterwards always swearing never to say yes again...


I’ve done it again. The teen wants to go on that French tour next year. Another friend’s mom, Yvonne, and I decided that we should organise something to raise some funds. Now we are organising a fundraising event in two week’s time. And we are seriously worrying about getting all the seats sold to be able to pay back the hosting company. Why, oh why, don’t we learn?

Note to self: when toddler comes home with letters from the school to tick, or with open spaces to put my name in... Don’t do it! Take a deep breath. Let the guilt (parents are supposed to help out at school-guilt) pass! I don’t have to say yes to all, especially since I am a working mom.

We thought it was a good idea to identify a venue and show. I still think it is... Not the extra worries of organising and setting up a venue, or having to pay for the entertainment. We only have to worry about selling the tickets. Now we find it is hard enough to sell all the tickets.

Barnyard Theatre at Cresta Mall in Johannesburg is currently running Super Troupers, a musical show of Abba, the Bee Gees and the 70s. What are you doing the 17th of September? Please support us!

3 Ways to Create Me Time in Your Day - Guest post

The ultimate Holy Grail for mothers. Just a bit of me time!
Coffee in a coffee shop usually does the trick for me, but I am always eager to learn about more ways...

Guest post by Janice Windt, MD of the Working Mothers Expo:

Somewhere in the far reaches of my memory I can recall the concept of Me time: A moment that involved me, a book and a cup of chamomile tea on the two-seater couch that just fitted in my tiny first apartment...  A breeze would gently blow the sweet sound of children’s voices in through the open window.  I would lie peacefully, my knees over the couch armrest, dreaming of the day when I would be married with children of my own…

Today, Me time is the three minutes I get on the loo to check Facebook before one of my sons bursts through the door to see what I am up to.  It’s my drive to work – a luxury many stay-at-home mums would give anything to have – even once a week.  Me time is the thirty minutes I get here and there when I just leave everything – dishes, dirty clothes, toys strewn into every nook and cranny.  Sometimes I just look at it all and say “no, not right now” and I escape to my writing.  Sometimes, me time is a coffee, uninterrupted, during work hours.  That is a dream too – I know that and I appreciate every creamy sip.

So, what can you do, amidst the chaos that is your schedule, to create more Me time in your day? We have some suggestions for you below but we would really love to hear yours in the comments… because the truth is that we are all in this together:

Chickens and cupcakes

Looking forward to Easter

Today is Sweetie Day at school, with the Little Missy's class selling sweets and cupcakes, generating a bit of income for the class.

As usual I was not cheering from the sides, eager to start baking those cakes...  

That's why I had to drive to three different shops last night to find the right cupcakes, and that would not cost me the last of  my month's food budget. 

I got a "bright" idea to put Easter eggs on top of the cupcakes and call it Easter cupcakes. 

(In my world I am proud of my achievement! Working Mom win!!) 

AND my little one thinks it is great! She helped with putting sprinkles on, and handing me the chocolate eggs. She also scored one to eat!!

Cupcakes with chocolate eggs on top

Cupcake

Dad had to go and buy beer to get us the box
(He did not have any objections ;-) )

The previous week they had chickens hatching at school. They watched the eggs the whole week, and on Thursday the chickens began to appear. Very sweet!

Marked eggs and some chickens in a hatching box

Look Mom!

Luckily the chickens were enclosed

The children all got a turn on Friday to hold a chicken! Very sweet!

Photo by Teacher Marlene

Happy Friday!

Mom blogging

Blog by Karen du Toit about becoming a parent after the age of 40, the second time after 15 years. It’s all about new beginnings. Being a working mom and married for a second time. Mieka came into our lives the 21st of December 2008. The meaning of her name is “new fountain” in Japanese. Arnia, my daughter of 16 years, keeps on asking me about herself when she was small. And I can't recollect all the small little details. I don't want to forget all the small little incidents that gives us so much pleasure. That's why I want to keep a blog for Mieka for one day...

A day in the working mom

Wednesday 18-8-2010
A day in the life – Cat at Juggling Act of Life has done it, as well as Laura at Harassed Mom.

2:00 (bit foggy about the time) Mieka cries. I fetch her and bring her to our bed. Put her on the breast. I feel that she is burning hot from fever and gets up to put in a suppository. Dries fetches a damp cloth to put on her forehead. She tosses and turns until about 3 when the fever breaks.

5:00 Alarms go off. I switch mine off, and gets back into bed. (Mieka is still in bed with us). Dries switches his alarm off, and gets back into bed.

5:20 Dries gets up and shower.

5.35 Dries goes downstairs to start with breakfast and the lunch boxes. I snuggle a little bit closer with my sleeping toddler (no fever) next to me.

5:45 I get up and get dressed. Make-up as well.

5:57 Take out clothes that needs to be ironed.

6:00 I pick up the sleeping toddler and put on her clothes which I have selected the previous night. She sleeps through everything, even while combing her hair.

6:07 Go downstairs, and sits with her for a while on the breast.

6:15 I place the sleeping toddler in Dries’s arms. I collect all my stuff (lunch box and Mieka’s bag, with her bottles that has been prepared by Dries). I put my breakfast – boiled egg on toast (aka Dries) – on the front seat. I make sure that food and key is in place for the cleaning lady coming in for the week.

6:20 Dries places the sleeping toddler in her car seat. (Dries and the teen leaves a little bit later and he drops her off at her school).

6:30 I drop the sleeping toddler off at the crèche. I have to place her in another person’s arms and she cries. I have to leave her...

6:35 Sit in traffic and eat my breakfast and drink my morning herbal tea.

7:20 Arrive in the office. Start checking my emails, and check some blogs.

7:45 Drink coffee with colleagues.

8:10 Work!

12:30 Drive to school to fetch the teen. The school closes at 13:00 because they have an Open Day for next year’s grade 8 scholars.

13:25 Stop at McDonalds for a take-away.

13:35 Back at my work-station.

15:30 Leave work with the teen and colleague, Johann.

16:05 Pick up the toddler at the crèche. They tell me that she has been a bit difficult and complaining during the day.

16:15 Drops blind colleague on corner of his street.

16:25 Shop at the nearby Spar. The teen wants blue balloons, scrap book paper and felt-tip pens. We find the felt-tip pens at the Waltons next door.

16:50 Arrive home. Breastfeed the toddler.

17:00 Dries arrives home. He takes out haddock out of the freezer, and puts vegetables in the steamer.

17:15 I feed Mieka a bit of leftover pasta. She eats a little.

17:30 We play with Mieka – crayons and she plays with her “toilet”. She plays for a while in the teen’s room. We watch The Doctors (a fav) in the background!

18:00 We eat. With a glass of red wine! Mieka plays with her food.

18:30 We watch V.

18:40 Mieka falls asleep on the breast.

19:30 We bath the toddler who has woken up again.

19:50 Medicines for the toddler.

20:00 I announces that we are going to bed, and the toddler waves and kisses her Dad.

20:05 I read a book with the toddler.

20:10 I lie down with the toddler on our bed and breastfeed her. She falls asleep, but seems restless.

21:00 I give up and take the toddler downstairs again.

21:10 I blog. Dries spends a bit of time with the toddler.

21:20 Dries takes the toddler upstairs with a bottle.

21:35 Dries comes down again after the toddler had fallen asleep, and we watch some television.

22:30 I take a bath.

22:50 I try to take the toddler to her bed. She cries and I put her on the breast.

23:05 I try again to put her in her own bed. No success!

23:10 We get into bed with Mieka in-between.

(This is not a normal day! But I don’t think we have any “normal” days anymore...)

Have you noticed? I have a Saint for a husband! I couldn’t have done it without him!

PLaying Follow Friday 40 and over. Go and check Java at Never Growing Old for the rules:

Inspiring women in business - Louise Archary of Bumps and Bundles of Joy

Louise Archary of Bumps & Bundles of Joy

One of the perks of being a blogger is to meet inspiring people all the time. Sister Louise Archary was sitting next to me at the recent MamaMagic New Products Awards. She has her own family wellness business. I wish I knew her when Little Miss was small, as I had a few awful encounters at my local clinic. They managed to always make me feel like a bad mother. We as moms need all the help we can get while being pregnant and especially helping us keeping the little ones "alive". This is exactly what Louise does.



Louise was kind enough to answer a few questions.

Louise Archary of Bumps & Bundles of Joy

Louise, who are you? (The elevator pitch ;-) )

My name is Louise Archary or ‘’Sister Louise’’ as my clients call me . I am a wife and proud mother of two and a private practicing registered nurse and midwife, qualified for about 15 years already.  I have achieved qualifications in: General Nursing, Psychiatry, Community Health and Midwifery. My aim is to support mums during and after pregnancy and to assist in the facilitation of overall family wellbeing.  I also consider myself to wear the hats of Prenatal Educator, Wellness Coach and Specialist in Immunizations.

Wordless Wednesday #336 - Working

Blogging mom2

As a new mom, working, I also feel terribly isolated with regards to connecting to other moms. Most of my friends in the same position are also working full-time and we struggle to get together. That’s another reason for me starting this blog – to understand my own feelings and situation, to connect to other moms and to figure out, while writing, than what I am doing is “right”. If only then “right” for myself and the baby.
Oh, and being the older mom also isolates me… While I am bleary-eyed, lactating, struggling to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes (a whole other story, and yes, I know, by this time it shouldn’t have been a problem) with a baby on the hip, my other friends are focusing on careers and discussing teenagers and holidays. I am also hiding underneath different caps every day because I am graying (I do not get enough time to colour it), and because I am losing hair post-pregnancy. Luckily its winter and the caps do not look out of place. Also, the winter clothes help to cover the post-pregnancy flab. I am putting on weight and keep on telling myself it’s because I am still breast feeding and can’t focus on drastic weight loss dieting. I was very much impressed with myself for not putting on too much weight during the pregnancy, only 10 kilograms, but it was because I did not have any space left for food. Food also did not have any appeal to me. Unluckily, I got my appetite and “space” back. These topics are not exactly interesting, but that’s where I find myself AGAIN. And I love it all over again: the baby has changed our lives AGAIN.
16 years ago I had a baby, Arnia, and now I wonder how I coped with the baby while being married to a narcissist and manipulative man who most of the time could not keep up a job. The X (the cancelled one) is not part of my life anymore, and Arnia has also started to limit her access to her father. His toxic presence has finally pissed her off completely, and I don’t think the relationship will be mended fully again. It is something Arnia has to work out for herself.
For me it’s a previous life, and it sometimes feel as if I have been reincarnated into this life. Totally different. I am now married to Dries, a wonderful caring, providing and supportive husband. Now I can’t belief that I could have been part of a violent partnership. I realized that by staying there I was enabling him to continue his bad behaviour.
That’s why I belief in new beginnings and new lives. It’s possible and much better the next time around. Maybe I am lucky, but I do believe that we create our own destinies and we are doing it continuously by making choices. My choice is to be happy and peaceful and I am that right now!
Arnia told the X and his wife last night that she is happy and peaceful at our home, and she does not have to stress about anything. It tells us that we (me and Dries) are doing something “right”. We are reconstructed, but we are doing it “better”. And that’s all I wish for! With a beautiful baby girl…

READ Word Warrior Competition - Keep them busy

Word Warrior Competition logo

The school holidays are long, especially if it's only the kids who are on holiday. The working mom guilt is more pronounced during this time. What do we do with her, and how do we keep her busy? Miss Fine has been in my office at work for threeeeeee days now. That's why I get excited when I get an email in my inbox about READ Educational Trust's Word Warrior Competition. Something to do that's creative, but also has a prize to aspire to. Miss Fine loves writing, and she loves winning something.

READ Education Trust

The READ Educational Trust is a platform used to promote literacy, reading and the art of creative writing among young South Africans.

How does the competition work?

Home Affairs - things you learn while standing in a queue for 7 hours

In the queue at Home Affairs

We spent a whole day at Home Affairs yesterday. It was something that had to be done, but we were not looking forward to doing it. It was a mountain to climb, and it was even worse than imagined! (We are so tired of things that are not working!)

The worst!

- There was a majestic queue that snaked already before eight when it was supposed to be opened at eight.

- They only opened at half past eight.

- We were told that they are off-line at about nine-ish. Most of us had taken day's leave and could not afford to take another day. So we decided to stay put. (Some left)

- We were standing in the sun, outside the premises, until 12 pm. Most of us (especially the white ones, especially) were burnt badly.

- We should have taken chairs, hats, umbrellas, water and food. (Most of us did not)

- The poor moms with babies and children. Some were allowed to go forward, but not all! It was crazy hot in the sun!

The unbelievable!

- They do not tell the people in which queues they should be. Even before entering, you should be told that there is collections queue, and a queue for the id's, passports etc. The poor new mom and dad who waited for hours with the rest of us... Just, No!!!

- The websites are not updated, and we rocked up with outdated forms.

- The websites are not updated with the latest information. WHY? It would help so much to know what to have and bring.

- We only get the forms inside, while the forms could have been dished out in the queues, and we could have started filling it in while waiting for hours.

- Put up signs to let people know how it works. Where should we stand?

The best of people!

- People tell their life stories in the queue. We heard of the couple who were robbed and had to get new id's and driver's licences. She could not get a temporary driver's licence before she got an id. She had to have a driver's licence to hire a car to get back to work... When we last saw her, she was not able to secure the driver's licence.

- People shared food, water, umbrellas and medication in the queue. There was a guy with an injured foot who said he stabbed himself while drunk. (What he said??) Everybody was concerned about the swollen foot.

- People kept people's places in the queue.

- There are some good people working at Home Affairs. There was a guy who kept on working through lunch-time to help people. The rest just disappeared for more than a hour.

- Some gave up their much coveted chairs inside in the queues for older people.


But it is done! We can tick this off!


LOOKING FORWARD TO...

A new year with new adventures!

Family at Home Affairs

TIP:

- Go at 14:30 in the afternoons. Things have quieten down quite a bit, and they have to get you through the queues. (Hopefully!)

The ultra-cool Moms vs. Moms who has lost their edge(s)

The Moms with the hair and the make-up and the clothes and nails. Skinny, off course! With small month(s)-old babies in their arms. Definitely gag-worthy for moms who still struggle to get off their post-pregnancy weight (even a year/s after the baby was born)!
I am talking about myself, off course! It feels I am not yet on top of getting back to ME. Being a working mom, sleep deprived and 24/7 attention required by our little one; I am lacking my own attention to me. Also ME-time! (Time for reading and reading.... Perfect! Eyes glaze over by only thinking about it.)
My hair does not get coloured as regularly as I want it to. My nails do not get painted as much as I want to (if ever). When I do have some off-time; that’s exactly what I do! I switch to “off” and sleep!! Also struggling with the weight; it is easier to grab something fast than making the effort to put together a healthy meal.
It feels that it’s taking a longer than longest time to return (to me).
Boo hoo! Get over yourself, Karen! You know that it will get better again. I hope? I have done it before, but can’t remember that it took as long as this time around.
Does it take longer to get back to myself because I am older, or do younger moms feel as if they have lost their edge as well? I would really like to get some feedback from other moms.

(Photo: Sunday: The hair was coloured the same morning, with my two.)

Sunday sun and girl’s play

We had another glorious sunny day here in South Africa. Braai (barbeque) and soaking up the sun! Glorious!

The grandparents James & Leonora

Arnia with the dog

We had such a lovely time with the toddler. We miss a lot with us going to work and she going to day care. We don’t always see her in her best of moods, and with what and how she occupies her time. When I pick her up at day care after four, she is usually tired and hungry, and mostly in complaining mode... (The gripe of the working mom! Little whine!)

The toddler loves playing with her dolls. It is amazing how much girls and boys differ with the toys they choose to play with. She spends hours walking around with her dolls. Dressing them. Swaddling them. Pushing them in her toy stroller. Even feeding them her own food, or giving them her bottle. It is precious to watch! The repetitive mode is on, and she does it without getting tired.

It makes me realise how much moms practise to be moms.

No wonder that we are slightly better at it! (Wink smile!)

Seventy is a really good number!

My mom celebrated her seventieth birthday with us at The Drakensberg Sun. She always loves to be on holiday when it is time for her birthday, and this time it was no different!
After the midweek break of last week she and my dad continued with their holiday on the South Coast.

We are grateful to have her in our lives, and that she is still there for the two granddaughters to enjoy!
She helps out with the daughters, and she is always available to babysit Little Missy.

You do not appreciate your own mother more than when you have your own children and realise exactly what she must have done for us! She had four of us, and she was working as well when I went to high school.

Happy birthday, Mom!

We had a great lunch on her special day with a view to die for.

Central Drakensberg

Lunch in the winter sun

At Drakensberg Sun
(I want to come back here - there is at least five hiking trails)

Little Missy in the distance running to the play ground

Finches for company

The beggars got some!

Thanks, Mom, for all you do! 

We are lucky to be able to spend time with you!

And we love the holidays with you and Dad!