Most mothers are an inspiration, but some even more so

"Dr" Erika!

I am always inspired by mothers and how they are juggling their lives with kids and work and everything else. It's not easy, and sometimes s*t hits the fan, and we don't always see the light at the end of the tunnel.

15 years back I was going through an awful divorce, being a single mom to a Grade 1 girl and trying to keep everything together during the legal proceedings. At that stage I felt overwhelmed and did not know how we would get unscathed through it all.

But here we are! Happy, fat and going on with our lives with new beginnings and new challenges! And that life seems like just a nightmare that happened to somebody else in a different timeline...

That's why I am sharing the story of Erika who is also a mom who had to go through a difficult custody battle for her children. She exhausted all her funds in the custody battle, and now she is not able to afford the final stretch for her doctoral degree. She has reached out to me on the MomAgain@40 Facebook page.

Erika, hats off to you! I love the fact that you call yourself "Dr Erika" already!

My name is Erika, and I am a mother of two amazing girls, a teacher, a coach, and a doctoral candidate. It is a lot to be at one time, but I love it all.  

In the middle of my degree, I got a divorce. I had to use all of my savings to ensure full custody of my two little girls when their father decided to move out of state. I am thrilled to have my girls with me every day, but lawyers are expensive. The money I planned on using to finish my degree went to the custody hearings.  

 The financial realities of a divorce are harsh. I don’t have the space for one more student loan. I wish it were that easy. Instead, I am stuck right at the place where I can see the finish line. Can you help me get there? 

All I would ask is that you help me finish my last semester, so that I may be an example for my daughters, students, and athletes, and complete the degree I have worked so hard for. This is me, showing these young ladies that nothing should stand in their way.

Click here to support her doctorate - Erika Rak Zeidler

Going blind for the blind

I noticed a few things about being blind...
It was at a fundraising event for Egoli Blind, called Dinner in the Dark, on Friday evening.

We were blindfolded and had to eat our "dinner in the dark"!


Thoughts on being blind:

- I don't like being blind! (That's the point!)

- I get sleepy as soon as my eyes are not working.

- Conversation was hampered because I could not see the rest of the people at the table.

- Food tastes different when you can't see it.

- It was a whole negotiation to get my glass filled, and we did not know how to get the attention of the waiters. Keeping our hands in the air did not seem to work.


In the end there was a little lot of peeking happening, and we had great fun!

It made me aware of how difficult it must be to be in perpetual darkness, and to negotiate your way in a visual world.

I work with a blind colleague, and he makes it seem so easy!
He does not see anything as a barrier.
When something has to be done, he is off with only his walking cane in his hand!

Hats off to all the blind people who "see" and do everything!


I am copying the Mission of Egoli Blind, who are mainly operating in the southern Gauteng area of South Africa. They are on Facebook as well: Egoli Blind.

"In order to achieve its vision Egoli Blind provides the following to its members as well as the visually impaired community within its area of operation:

o Support to recently blinded people;o Assistance to visually impaired people with reference to job placement and the improvement of working conditions.o Advise people of and refer where necessary to rehabilitation facilities.o The collection and dissemination of information relevant to visually impaired people.o  Creating awareness among visually impaired people of the services provided by Blind SA i.e.:

•  Braille training;
•  Literature;
•  Study bursaries;
•  Loan facilities;
•  Education;
•   Employment and careers;
•   Advocacy;
•  Blindness-related information;

o Orientation and mobility;

• Support to parents of visually impaired children ‘and’ visually impaired learners relating to educational matters;
• Support to visually impaired senior citizens;
• A forum for networking among visually impaired people;
• Creating an awareness among the sighted public of blind people and blindness-related matters"

Caitlin got her "soldiers" - stem cell therapy

Caitlin
Photo taken from The little train that can: Caitlin's story so far on FB

The story of a little girl named Caitlin has a happy endingbeginning. 

Caitlin has a wish of the use of normal arms and legs, the same as her twin sister. 

(Caitlin, I wish for you as well!)

She was diagnosed with Spastic Diplegic Cerebral Palsy, and it was the dream of her mother Michelle even before she could comprehend it herself to get stem cell therapy in Kiev. 

A ground breaking treatment that is not available here!

She received the treatment a month and half ago, and already she has more movement in her limbs, and it seems extremely promising. She started normal school with her sister this year!

In the words of mother Michelle from the Facebook page (The little train that can: Caitlin's story so far)

Her therapists noticed the differences immediately when we began working with her now in January.  They've remarked on how she adapts better with each session. She can throw now - something that was a truly difficult task before. Her hands are not as clenched as before and she keeps them in a normal, relaxed position more often than not now. Her posture has improved drastically.  She’s cutting with safety scissors and peeling litchis with ease. She could do neither before Kiev. She's raiding the fridge. She's fighting back. Before the treatment we mostly had grey days with peaks. Now we have good days and bad days. She can really put up a fight now if she doesn't want to do something and she's quick to take her walker and go off to her room for play time on her own. Her fantasy world is not as prevalent as before because (in the opinion of her mom) she's realised she's more capable here in the real world than she was before. Yes, she still makes up and tells wonderful stories, especially to her new friends, but she's here in the present now. Working here. Being amazing here. She's quick to tell me now to leave her be and that she can do things by herself. The fact that she's trying that hard to stake a claim on her independence confirms that things are changing here. We still have 8 months ahead of us before we know the full scale of this treatment's effect, but I know... I just know that things have improved so much and can only get better.

For the full account of the trip to Kiev on December 13 2011 and the progress so far, read it here.

Photos of the trip can be found here: Caitlin's wish...come true!

Thanks to all who have helped this dream come true! 

Michelle is still raising funds for the continued therapy. 

See Caitlin's climb: 2012 Therapy Fundraiser presentation

Soldier on, Caitlin! 

Caitlin, I wish for you as well!

The story of a little girl named Caitlin... It is an ongoing story!

To me it sounds like a struggle, but to mom Michelle it is just what you do to help your child to reach her optimal potential in life. It must be even more difficult when the other twin is a healthy bouncy nearly 6 year old girl!

You can read about her story on her Facebook page: The little Train that can: Caitlin's story so far.

I have put up the Fundraiser button on my blog, and seen that it is super easy to donate. We don't have a lot to give on our own, but together we can make a difference for this sweet little face!

They still want to take her for stem cell treatment in December. Caitlin has cerebral palsy, and the hope remains that she will be able to walk, get back the functionality of her arms, as well as clear speech.The total cost comes down to just over R100 000, but for a single mom with twins it is very difficult to raise on her own.

It will have a compounded effect when the treatment will also be able to help other children in the future!
I know that if it was my child, I would also explore all the possibilities...

Michelle asks that we also spread the word about the wish of Caitlin to as many people as possible.
The fundraising presentation is also available on Facebook.

Shadow waiters at Spur

The French students

The things you do for fundraisers! The teen and the French tour of the French class next is year is becoming more of a reality. The first payment needs to be made, and the budget is tight! And the tour gets more expensive it seems as the bookings are being made…

We organized a fundraiser with a local Spur (steak ranch) in our area. The French students had to shadow with the waiter, and they got 10% of the proceeds of the evening. Some got nice tips as well… I can recommend it to anyone. No stressing about selling of tickets before the time like we did with the Barnyard fundraiser earlier.

The students had a great time. They had a new experience as well learning about working in a restaurant. The teen’s waiter told us that she is a quick learner, and that she did very well for her first evening as a waiter.

The toddler kept us busy because she discovered the play area, and Dad especially had to follow that pointy finger! She was awake until nine when we left, but slept the minute the car was moving! Which is of course a very nice bonus for any evening!

The parents enjoyed the whole evening as well! We had a lovely meal and could catch up with friends again…

What do you recommend doing for a fundraiser that does not involve too much stress?

Fundraiser – things we learnt

The things you do for your children… Phew! The D-Day for the Fundraiser for the French tour of the French class at school finally happened on Friday. It was nail-biting and worrisome because we (Yvonne, the children and me) were fretting about getting in enough money to pay for the venue and show. Super Troupers, at the Barnyard at Cresta Mall in Johannesburg. Not even about starting to begin raising money for that French tour…


But we made it, and could pay back our due money last Tuesday already. And we made some money extra for the girls as well. We have declared it a success! But never again! You hear!

From now on my head will shake “NO!” when confronted with any misguided attempt of responsibility towards the school.

The things you learn when trying to raise money:

• There are lots of very nice people who really try to support you. Some people even gave us donations when they couldn’t make it on the evening.


• It took a lot of organizing between two of us to keep the ball rolling. I think it could have become too complicated when other become involved as well.


• The children help a lot with fundraising. Involve them!


• It helps to organize a fundraiser around a show and venue. We only worried about getting the tickets sold.


• Posters and flyers do not bring in the sales. It is your own network of friends that’s worth the most when trying to get a venue full.


• There are mean people out there. We got constant competition from a teacher at the school who organized the same type of event with the same show. We announced a long time before him what and when we were planning to do our fundraiser. (Very strange!)


• That same teacher made a lot of promises, but never followed through. (Why?)

We are very relieved, and very glad about the money raised. The children have a bit more in their banking accounts. It will be able to cover the visas, al least. Every bit helps!

Thanks to everybody who supported us!

The things you do for your children

I have found myself in strange situations because of my child(ren). I am not the baking/sewing kind of mom, but I have found myself at school in a kitchen helping out with food. Or washing large stacks of table cloths and ironing it. For the school! And afterwards always swearing never to say yes again...


I’ve done it again. The teen wants to go on that French tour next year. Another friend’s mom, Yvonne, and I decided that we should organise something to raise some funds. Now we are organising a fundraising event in two week’s time. And we are seriously worrying about getting all the seats sold to be able to pay back the hosting company. Why, oh why, don’t we learn?

Note to self: when toddler comes home with letters from the school to tick, or with open spaces to put my name in... Don’t do it! Take a deep breath. Let the guilt (parents are supposed to help out at school-guilt) pass! I don’t have to say yes to all, especially since I am a working mom.

We thought it was a good idea to identify a venue and show. I still think it is... Not the extra worries of organising and setting up a venue, or having to pay for the entertainment. We only have to worry about selling the tickets. Now we find it is hard enough to sell all the tickets.

Barnyard Theatre at Cresta Mall in Johannesburg is currently running Super Troupers, a musical show of Abba, the Bee Gees and the 70s. What are you doing the 17th of September? Please support us!