Tuesday, 15 October 2013
Rose with thorns
It is very difficult navigating the relationship arena when you are young. You still have to define and find yourself, while negotiating in a relationship with another person on the same path of self-definition.
That was true for me! Because of that I made the "mistakes" in my relationships, and made the wrong choice in my first marriage partner. (Now I don't think of it as mistakes any more, but as valuable life lessons.)
I would not have become the person I am now, and have been where I am now, had it not been for these "detours" in my life!
Of course, I am sharing my "wisdom" with my daughters!
It seems my eldest has a good shot of her own wisdom. She has picked up most from her interactions with the unfather, who is a very emotional manipulative person.
The boyfriends in her life does not get a chance to treat her badly.
She does not allow it!
On Friday night she changed the arrangements to make it easier for the the boyfriend to come and pick her up. He flipped, and said that she can't change the arrangements as she wish. He also came and gave back her books she has loaned him, and broke off the relationship. She shrugged, and said that was it!
When the boyfriend wanted to continue as usual on Saturday, by ignoring the previous night's altercation, she wanted nothing more to do with him. He has been sending flowers and chocolates, and continues to bug her with requests to stay his girlfriend! But he has not said he is sorry!
She says she does not take back ex-boyfriends!
I am proud of her! I think it shows that she is extremely smart with regards relationships.
If this guy gets mad about a small arrangement being changed, and then not apologising... What would happen when there are bigger issues at stake?
Something is not right there?
I wish I had her "smarts" when I was young!
(Sketch: Little Missy's sketch of her sister)