Thursday, 27 August 2009

Brain bubble

No, it is not even brain fog or brain smog. I have totally lost my marbles with the baby, or maybe we surrender it all to them? I am losing car keys and cards, and having to go back and do things again. I forget to lock the garage doors, and this morning it was the second time that I nearly drove over Dries while reversing out of the garage. He is so thoughtful to open up for me, and then I just start driving immediately. Sorry, Dries! But most of the time I just find myself trapped in space, and feeling as if time is speeding by, and I am left behind. I am in “mommy world”, with the outside world a blur of activities and events that does not feel as if it is real.
The not sleeping is also contributing to the feeling of being trapped in a bubble.
Last night we struggled to put Mieka down. At one stage after ten I and Dries were passed out on the bed, with her in between us, trying to poke our noses and eyes. I just have a vague recollection of getting up during the night, and after four she was back with us in bed. Tati did not do its job at all. This morning Mieka was all smiles, and waving the arms and legs, happy to start the day. And it keeps me going – thinking of her smiles the whole day long…

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