Home Affairs - things you learn while standing in a queue for 7 hours

In the queue at Home Affairs

We spent a whole day at Home Affairs yesterday. It was something that had to be done, but we were not looking forward to doing it. It was a mountain to climb, and it was even worse than imagined! (We are so tired of things that are not working!)

The worst!

- There was a majestic queue that snaked already before eight when it was supposed to be opened at eight.

- They only opened at half past eight.

- We were told that they are off-line at about nine-ish. Most of us had taken day's leave and could not afford to take another day. So we decided to stay put. (Some left)

- We were standing in the sun, outside the premises, until 12 pm. Most of us (especially the white ones, especially) were burnt badly.

- We should have taken chairs, hats, umbrellas, water and food. (Most of us did not)

- The poor moms with babies and children. Some were allowed to go forward, but not all! It was crazy hot in the sun!

The unbelievable!

- They do not tell the people in which queues they should be. Even before entering, you should be told that there is collections queue, and a queue for the id's, passports etc. The poor new mom and dad who waited for hours with the rest of us... Just, No!!!

- The websites are not updated, and we rocked up with outdated forms.

- The websites are not updated with the latest information. WHY? It would help so much to know what to have and bring.

- We only get the forms inside, while the forms could have been dished out in the queues, and we could have started filling it in while waiting for hours.

- Put up signs to let people know how it works. Where should we stand?

The best of people!

- People tell their life stories in the queue. We heard of the couple who were robbed and had to get new id's and driver's licences. She could not get a temporary driver's licence before she got an id. She had to have a driver's licence to hire a car to get back to work... When we last saw her, she was not able to secure the driver's licence.

- People shared food, water, umbrellas and medication in the queue. There was a guy with an injured foot who said he stabbed himself while drunk. (What he said??) Everybody was concerned about the swollen foot.

- People kept people's places in the queue.

- There are some good people working at Home Affairs. There was a guy who kept on working through lunch-time to help people. The rest just disappeared for more than a hour.

- Some gave up their much coveted chairs inside in the queues for older people.


But it is done! We can tick this off!


LOOKING FORWARD TO...

A new year with new adventures!

Family at Home Affairs

TIP:

- Go at 14:30 in the afternoons. Things have quieten down quite a bit, and they have to get you through the queues. (Hopefully!)

2018 in Review

Goodbye 2018

2018 was a big year for us. It was very difficult! But we accomplished much!

Miss Fine end-of-year question review

Miss Fine

It's been a year since the the previous questions to the nearly 9 year old. This week Miss Fine is celebrating her 10th birthday. We are so proud of her. She has done so well at school, and it seems she knows who she is and what she wants.

Mon asked her a few questions, and I wrote it down as is. Thank you for the honest answers. We learn more from you, than you from us.

READ Word Warrior Competition - Keep them busy

Word Warrior Competition logo

The school holidays are long, especially if it's only the kids who are on holiday. The working mom guilt is more pronounced during this time. What do we do with her, and how do we keep her busy? Miss Fine has been in my office at work for threeeeeee days now. That's why I get excited when I get an email in my inbox about READ Educational Trust's Word Warrior Competition. Something to do that's creative, but also has a prize to aspire to. Miss Fine loves writing, and she loves winning something.

READ Education Trust

The READ Educational Trust is a platform used to promote literacy, reading and the art of creative writing among young South Africans.

How does the competition work?

Inspiring women in business - Louise Archary of Bumps and Bundles of Joy

Louise Archary of Bumps & Bundles of Joy

One of the perks of being a blogger is to meet inspiring people all the time. Sister Louise Archary was sitting next to me at the recent MamaMagic New Products Awards. She has her own family wellness business. I wish I knew her when Little Miss was small, as I had a few awful encounters at my local clinic. They managed to always make me feel like a bad mother. We as moms need all the help we can get while being pregnant and especially helping us keeping the little ones "alive". This is exactly what Louise does.



Louise was kind enough to answer a few questions.

Louise Archary of Bumps & Bundles of Joy

Louise, who are you? (The elevator pitch ;-) )

My name is Louise Archary or ‘’Sister Louise’’ as my clients call me . I am a wife and proud mother of two and a private practicing registered nurse and midwife, qualified for about 15 years already.  I have achieved qualifications in: General Nursing, Psychiatry, Community Health and Midwifery. My aim is to support mums during and after pregnancy and to assist in the facilitation of overall family wellbeing.  I also consider myself to wear the hats of Prenatal Educator, Wellness Coach and Specialist in Immunizations.

Grade 4 is a culture shock, but mostly for the Mom

Grade four is a total different ball game here! The children start changing between classes and they start writing tests and exams. The pace is also much faster than the previous grades. Miss Fine has been taking it all in her stride, but we (the parents) feel a little bit overwhelmed.

We have to make sure that we are abreast of her calendar and her homework, A standard request each day is to immediately take out her homework book so that we could check if there is something new. I am writing this down for future reference. We feel like we are doing grade four for the first time, but our grade four, way back when, surely did not involve as much as this? Even 15 years ago with the eldest it was not so tough!

5 Lists to survive the upcoming holiday Season

List making

The End-of-Year rush and busyness come with a lot of stress. Although December is a time to love, it is also a time of upheaval and being out of your comfort zone! You know it's near the end of the year, and there is some sort of overwhelm! It's holiday or no holiday! It's family time and friends' time! There's preparations, and sorting out some of the stuff that had been put on the back burner during the year.

I have a permanent feeling of anxiety, and when I try to pin-point the exact reason for it, it's not only one thing. The dietician told me this morning that "stress" is the number one complaint she hears from her clients. They are all stressed at the moment! (And of course the diets take a knock!)

The only way I know how to take control of the end-of-year madness is to make lists. Prioritize the important stuff and what needs to be done! It helps you feel more in control. I always enjoy Marcia's Instagram lists on Organising Queen. Check out her 3 Kinds of lists for your bullet journal. She is by far the List Queen!

Wordless Wednesday #336 - Working

I made cupcakes, but I did not win the Grundig oven #GrundigMomoftheYear

The chance to win a Grundig multi-function oven of R8 900.00 does not come around regularly, so I was making cupcakes this past Saturday at the Johannesburg Culinary & Pastry School. The competition was run on my blog at the end of May: Mom of the year? Win a culinary experience and a chance to win a Grundig oven.

The Grundig Mom of the Year event was held at the Johannesburg Culinary and Pastry School in Johannesburg. Slaying in the kitchen is not one of my favourite pastimes, but for an oven I could break my usual misgivings.

I had such a great time working together with Brent Grung of Born Fabulous who had won the culinary experience through Tums 2 Tots Online. Luckily he's got chef skills, and that's why our cupcakes were perfect! Thanks, Brent!

Red velvet cupcakes - Jhb Culinary & Pastry School

The saved story of the day (SnapChat @karentoittoit) is uploaded.
I did not win the oven! (*sad face*)

No! @brentgrung who won through @Tums2TotsOnline is the lucky fish who gets a @grundig_za oven. #GrundigMomoftheYear pic.twitter.com/pv2vX9ONzo

— Karen du Toit (@karentoittoit) July 1, 2017

Melissa Javan (the winner on this blog, but who could not be there), you missed out big time!


Top photo: I decorated those cupcakes and I am proud of it!

The Boomerang Generation

Millennials coming back home after their studies or doing it on their own. The Boomerang Generation is an apt description for older kids living with their parents! I have many friends who also have these Boomerangers back in the house! (Is that a word?)

The Eldest is still staying with us, working and doing her own thing! But living again with the family after she was a student for three years away from home. This was not the original plan, as we thought she would pack her bags and go off on adventures after her studies...

Strange how life works?!

As a mom I must say that I am grateful for this extra grace in time with my Eldest! I love that we get more time to spend with her! Of course she has grown up too fast! I love that we have this extra boomerang period!

The only drawback is that we worry more about her! (Maybe?) We know when she's out and about, and worry! We also still appreciate and ask for the messages each day of her arriving safe at work and back!

We don't know how long this will last!
But for now I will cherish this special time!

Parenting is humbling

I have to laugh at myself and my thoughts around parenthood. The Universe has a quirky way of coming back to slap you with your own smugness.

I am the older mom with a daughter that has successfully gone through the stages of growing up and has successfully completed her studies. She is working and doing her thing! I have got the "evidence" that I rock this parenting gig! I was smug!

Ha-ha!

Unfortunately kids do not have the same manual. They are not the same!
What was I thinking?

Suffice to say that I have my thoughts around parenthood handed back to me on a silver platter! I can't do it the same as the previous time!

I am also older (and wiser) and have learnt much from parenting experts and parents around the world. That what I thought was good parenting techniques previously, is also frowned upon today!

So, although I am the older mom, I am doing it again! I am writing a new manual. And it is only for the youngest! (It is child-specific!)

And I won't judge people who struggle with parenting, and I won't judge the judgy eyes when we have the full-blown melt-down! Because I know, karma comes around!


Have you changed your parenting style over the years, since you had your first child?

Five for Friday #1

I am making use of Cat's Five for Friday editions idea. We have finally arrived at the best day of the week!

- Wake Cup

I treated myself to a Wake Cup this morning. Nothing better than standing in the traffic to be able to buy a hot cup of filter coffee! My Friday started on a great note! I love the entrepreneurship of such a good fantastic idea!

- Little Miss

Little Miss was a leeettle bit sick this week. She struggled with a runny nose, sinus and a sore throat. The throat also made her cough, but not hectic. On Wednesday morning she was crying about a headache as well, and that the school "does not allow sick children"! (True that! But we are working parents!) I decided to take her to the doctor. (Luckily we have child leave sick days at work! It really helps!) She had a throat infection, but not hectic! I usually don't encourage staying at home, because I think it is important not to loose too much at school. So she's had a couple of annoying "preaches" (she immediately shuts me down when I want to get in my bit of "Mom Wisdom") about rather going to school and not miss out on something... Thankfully she is much better now, and back at school today!

- Second Month of the Year

Star Wars Calendar from Typo

It's February already. We are looking forward to a weekend away this month, celebrating my Dad's birthday! I still feel that I did not get enough holiday during December! This will definitely help!

(How cool is this Typo calendar? It was a present to myself  in December)

-  SnapnSave

SnapnSave

I saw the SnapnSave app reviewed on Hayleys' Joys. You get cash back while shopping. I tried it this week. I am still not convinced that I am saving that much, as I have bought things I would otherwise not have bought. The trick is to only buy things you really need. I also saw that there are cheaper options on the shelves available. But I will give it a fair try. It's only the first week!
I've made R15 and R39.80 is waiting for approval from my first slip scanned.
AND I have two bottles of red rosé wine for visitors! *wry smile!* (I don't drink rosé.)
You can use my code to earn the first R10 when you sign up: Karend870

- It's the weekend

I can't wait! Hubby is going to watch some cricket. We are planning a fun walk with the Voortrekkers searching for owls.
We are going to relax!

Finally!

What are your plans?

A day in the life of Janice Windt, MD behind Working Mothers Expo

The Working Mothers Expo is around the corner. Janice Windt, the Founder and Managing Director behind the Expo, answered a few personal questions. I wanted to know more about her work-life, as well as how a normal day in her household looks like.

Janice Windt:

My normal day starts at about 4am, when I wake up to answer emails before hundreds more emails and calls start coming in again at 8am ;)  My husband takes the boys to school so that I can start my proper work day at 07h30 and work until 1pm when I fetch the boys from school.  Afternoons are all about them, which is such a privilege.  I try keep evenings for my husband and I and the result is that I sleep a lot less than I used to!  Even our accountants are worried about the hours I keep!  So yes, this is my only job.

I worked at an Investment Bank for ten years and left corporate in February 2015 to start the Working Mothers Expo.  It’s taken 18 months to get to this point and we are VERY excited to see what the response to our first event will be.   Our goal is to make the lives of working mothers easier by bringing together everything working mothers need under one roof.  Working mothers need to realise that they are not alone, get access to the help and inspiration they need and have a moment that is, quite simply, all about them. 

The idea for the Working Mothers Expo evolved out of the challenges I personally experienced as a working mom and also from the experiences I was privileged enough to learn about when I interviewed more than one hundred women from seventeen countries around the world for my blog. As I started speaking to other working mothers I’ve realised that many of us struggle with similar things. It’s a real privilege to be able to reach thousands of working mothers through the avenue of the Working Mothers Expo.  I’m very grateful.

The Working Mothers Expo, in partnership with MiWayLife, brings together everything working mothers need under one roof.
It will be on from 4-6 November 2016 at the Sandton Convention Centre. With world class products, services and speakers and great entertainment for your kids, this is an event not to be missed.
Tickets available at Computicket. 

How to make every moment count as a working mother - 5 tips

Being a working mother and juggling the rat race of city life are difficult, and I don't think we can have it all!
I am giving myself some grace as I am getting older and "wiser" (sic! Laughing at myself here!)
I try my best to make the moments count, and I do not beat myself up when I "fail"! I try harder the next time!

But there are definitely some ideas to consider to make moments count! Janice Windt, the managing director of The Working Mothers Expo, suggests 5 ways to make every moment count as a working mother.

1) Prioritise.  
What is most important to you? Do more of that and less of everything else...

2) Clear your diary. 
Just say no. Be on time for the kids. (It definitely goes with priorities and making your children the number 1 priority!)

3) Pause to breathe. 
Do the things that makes you happy, like reading, long baths or time-outs! Whatever!

4) Sing. 
The advice is to sing, even though you are not very good at it! My Little Miss does not appreciate my singing at all, and usually asks me to stop. But maybe it will work for you? ;-)

5) Sign up for the Working Mothers Expo VIP Waiting List and book your diaries for the  Working Mothers Expo, brought to you in partnership with MiWay Life, bringing together everything a working mother needs under one roof at the Sandton Convention Centre.


How do you make the moments count as a working mother?





Read more on this article: 5 Ways to make every moment count as a working mother

The Working Mothers Expo, brought to you in partnership with MiWay Life, brings together everything a working mother needs under one roof on 4-6 November at the Sandton Convention Centre.  Take a step back from your hectic schedule, make some time to reflect, hear an inspiring speaker, indulge in some retail therapy and connect with other working mothers. We would like to create some dedicated time in your schedule that is all about you.

3 Ways to Create Me Time in Your Day - Guest post

The ultimate Holy Grail for mothers. Just a bit of me time!
Coffee in a coffee shop usually does the trick for me, but I am always eager to learn about more ways...

Guest post by Janice Windt, MD of the Working Mothers Expo:

Somewhere in the far reaches of my memory I can recall the concept of Me time: A moment that involved me, a book and a cup of chamomile tea on the two-seater couch that just fitted in my tiny first apartment...  A breeze would gently blow the sweet sound of children’s voices in through the open window.  I would lie peacefully, my knees over the couch armrest, dreaming of the day when I would be married with children of my own…

Today, Me time is the three minutes I get on the loo to check Facebook before one of my sons bursts through the door to see what I am up to.  It’s my drive to work – a luxury many stay-at-home mums would give anything to have – even once a week.  Me time is the thirty minutes I get here and there when I just leave everything – dishes, dirty clothes, toys strewn into every nook and cranny.  Sometimes I just look at it all and say “no, not right now” and I escape to my writing.  Sometimes, me time is a coffee, uninterrupted, during work hours.  That is a dream too – I know that and I appreciate every creamy sip.

So, what can you do, amidst the chaos that is your schedule, to create more Me time in your day? We have some suggestions for you below but we would really love to hear yours in the comments… because the truth is that we are all in this together:

Featured blog: Chasing Dreams

I am taking part in the South African Mom Blogs who features a new blog each month.

Let me introduce Fazila Cariem of Chasing Dreams. Fazila is a first time mom , who is currently on maternity leave. She is a qualified Chartered Accountant, however her true passion lies in health and fitness and her site is aimed at assisting working moms with tips on getting fit, running and planning healthy meals for families . She is currently studying towards becoming a qualified gym instructor so her tips and hints are quite informed!

I am very impressed by the fact that she recently ran the Old Mutual Two Oceans Half Marathon, while her baby is only 6 months old. Respect!
She also has a post up about a roadtrip holiday ... with a six month old baby without a husband.

She can also be found here: Instagram and Facebook

Grade 1 - we did the right thing!

As parents we are always second-guessing ourselves, and hoping we make the right decisions for our children.

But we also know our children, and know them at their best!

I am so glad we decided to send Little Miss to Grade 1 this year. The school readiness results last year indicated that she was not emotionally ready, and we were sent for occupational therapy as well as visual therapy. We have completed a series of visits to the OT as well as visual therapy. Both therapists have given her the "go-ahead" for Grade 1. The last of the visual therapy was on Saturday and Little Miss drew a heart picture to give to Penny (see picture above). I am amazed at how well she can now control her eyes. She can bring pictures together by only moving her eyes around. (I don't think I can do it, and I am too afraid to even try...)

The first week of school has also been a bit hectic with Little Miss being very tired at the end of the day, and clingy to start with! She also got quite confused with the extra-murals, and we are still searching for lost clothes that gets lost on an almost daily basis.

But, by the third week she started very good with Little Miss saying goodbye at the gate. There are less "Not a lekker day"-remarks that we have to hear at the end of each day! We are still walking her to the class, but she is happy to go off and play. Especially if she has a coin or two to spend at the Tuck Shop... (Which we try not to give in to, but yesterday I was weak again when I had to drop her off!...parenting fail much!)

She has been loving her teacher and her class. We decided not to say anything to her teacher about the extra OT and visual therapy, and to see how it goes! There has not been any complaint or negative feedback from school. Her school work also looks very good when it gets sent home!

She loves learning to read, and she is trying to spell all words she comes across. Out of her own free will, and without any push from us! (She is actually irritating us with trying to spell everything, and of course asking us to help her with it! Sorry, Little Miss! I will try harder at the end of my working day when asked to spell something/e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g for you!!)

She is also doing very well with the maths, and that we can definitely link back to her doing CMaths since last year! It has given her the edge that I have been hoping for! She is not a CMaths whizz-kid, but she has a better grasp of maths than her peer group. That's all we want!

There is a large amount of homework. It keeps her busy for at least an hour to two hours each day which I think is a bit much! But the after-care helps in doing most of it with the children, and we only have to quickly retrace some of it in the evenings. Luckily it is Hubby and I who are there to follow though! We can focus on her alone, which makes it easier on all of us!

I was talking to another mom the other day about her daughter that she kept back for another year, and I realised that I could say that we also did the right thing! Just as her daughter is still not ready for the huge leap into Grade 1, our daughter are now enjoying her Grade 1 year to the max!!

"Phew!"

I am going to miss them while I am in Cape Town

I am going to a conference in the Cape on Saturday! I can't wait!
We do not get these opportunities very often, and I am really feeling very VERY lucky!

I am passionate about attending conferences, and I love Cape Town.
We definitely don't go there as much as I would like. (Cape Town is on my bucket list - anything and anywhere that's Cape Town).

But I don't like leaving Little Missy and the eldest behind. (The ambivalence of being a working mother.)
I know that Hubby will be there to handle it, and he will do it very good! He also supports me all the way! (Thanks Hubby)
The eldest will be shadowing as well as part of her practicals, and an aunt will cover it! (Thanks to family!)

I am going to miss them!

Hair selfie - Sit still, Mom!

Hair selfie  with a very serious looking
Little Miss

Warning: Prepared to be spammed by Cape Town photos!

Two wheels' milestone and a report card

Little Missy was adamant the previous weekend that her dad must take off the extra two wheels on her bicycle. She is ready for the two wheels!

Her dad had to hold onto her for the first two days, but on day two she had mastered going forward on her own.

First time without the extra wheels!

Making new friends on her bike

Blurry, but there she goes!

Little Missy is five and a half now, and although I don't do the monthly updates any more (who's putting on the brakes now?), we are loving her energy at the moment.
(And getting tired by just watching her.)

She is forever doing cart wheels and hand stands and head stands. And getting better and better at it! She can spin a hula hoop for a very long time!

Little Missy got a very good report card from the school. The teacher is happy with her, and says that she is working hard when she is supposed to be working hard, and enjoy playing with all the children in her class. She can't think of any reason why she should not be able to continue to Grade One next year!

We are extremely relieved after we found Grade R to be a bit of a bummer in the beginning of this year! Little Missy loves her teacher and her class, and misses them when it's not school. With the midweek break she was counting the days to going back to school again.

We even had two mornings in the past month  where Little Missy announced at 6 am that she wanted to do a speech that day and I had to notify the teacher. It is something they are encouraged to do, but not enforced. She grabbed paper and pencils and was off in the car while vigorously sketching on a tray. (Hope it is not a peak into her future studying methods?) Apparently the teacher says it went very well! We can't get her to do the speeches for us as well...

And of course, her teacher knows best and e-v-e-r-y thing, and her commands are obeyed to the letter. If I smuggle in a little sweet in her lunch box (bad mother!), it gets voluntarily dumped in the dustbin! "No sweets in my lunch box, Mom!"

This is a very interesting age!

Seventy is a really good number!

My mom celebrated her seventieth birthday with us at The Drakensberg Sun. She always loves to be on holiday when it is time for her birthday, and this time it was no different!
After the midweek break of last week she and my dad continued with their holiday on the South Coast.

We are grateful to have her in our lives, and that she is still there for the two granddaughters to enjoy!
She helps out with the daughters, and she is always available to babysit Little Missy.

You do not appreciate your own mother more than when you have your own children and realise exactly what she must have done for us! She had four of us, and she was working as well when I went to high school.

Happy birthday, Mom!

We had a great lunch on her special day with a view to die for.

Central Drakensberg

Lunch in the winter sun

At Drakensberg Sun
(I want to come back here - there is at least five hiking trails)

Little Missy in the distance running to the play ground

Finches for company

The beggars got some!

Thanks, Mom, for all you do! 

We are lucky to be able to spend time with you!

And we love the holidays with you and Dad!