The sketch that helped me understand my child

Wendy Bertagnole webinar about difficult sensory behaviour

I have to share this here. There are definitely other parents who also struggle with the same. I wish I had know about this much earlier. I have felt in my gut that there is more to the behaviour, and that it is not a lack of discipline or a lack of respect. The reason for the continuing melt-downs! The better we understand our child, the better she will be able to understand herself. The better we will also be able to work on the skills necessary to handle her world.

Where will our Bubblegummers take us? - Review and WIN

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I tell her it's a bit of OCD and sensory issues

Little Miss 

The carversations! Even tough traffic is hectic, and we would like to spend much less time in a car... But there is a positive note to it! A car is one of the best places to catch up on each other and hear the daily news.

Little Miss has always used the car as her after-school melt-down safe place. It is the safe place to whine, and melt down and complain about her day.

This past week she has been complaining/crying that she thinks she is different than the rest of her peers in class. There is stuff that bothers her in class which makes it very difficult to concentrate.

Little Miss slaying the dragons

Transformers Animatronics at Emperor's Palace

The second quarter of the year is already full steam ahead. It seems Little Miss has settled nicely in at school. She is a Little Miss Independent because we drop her off and there she goes!

All the worries about friends and fitting in have been resolved. She's got friends, and she was even invited to her first party this weekend from a child at the new school. I was told that she has a nickname of "Cutie" (behind her back), but she has heard it and has told me previously that she does not like being called cute! (We think that "Cutie" is not so bad, and it could have been a lot worse! Now only to convince her!)

Revue outfit at school

We had a hectic week last week! The school put out seven concerts in five days! It meant driving up and down to school and getting dressed and prepped for Revue seven times. (Not even counting the practice runs the previous week!) I have a lot more respect for teachers everywhere! They worked their arses off very hard and they were still smiling at the end! We had to laugh when Little Miss told us she had a job of keeping her teacher awake in class, and another boy had to wipe the spit from her mouth when she fell asleep. They found that quite hilarious, but I am sure that is how the teacher really felt each day! School had to go on!

We are still struggling with clothes and melt-downs. Winter has started a a week ago, and Little Miss has had to adapt to her new winter clothes. Of course everything about the winter outfits are bothering her, and the shoes are too tight or too loose. We know why it is a fight to get her to put on her shoes (SPD), but unfortunately we have to find a way for her to handle it better! We are at least 20 minutes to half an hour later getting out of the house in the mornings.

I am contemplating of getting some help with the SPD? If only for us and how to help her?
Should we see an occupational therapist?

For the record! She is very opinionated! I always say that she has been born with all the wisdom on earth. She already KNOWS, when she sometimes most of the times does not know! Head-banging happens a lot! (Saying it with trepidation when thinking about the teenage years?)

Little Miss making flapjacks

Little Miss loves helping with baking and cooking, and I think we should definitely involve her more. She is always willing to lend us a hand in the kitchen! Thanks, Little Miss! I am looking forward to your gourmet dishes in future!

I am writing this down, Little Miss! Even looking back on the previous post, I can see how much you have changed and developed! We like you, and we love you!

It is great to have you in our lives! And we will slay the SPD dragons together!

I know WHY it's a fight to get her to put on shoes - SPD

But how do we get her to put on shoes when she flatly refuses?
Each day we have to ask politely for her to put on her shoes! Then it escalates pretty soon into not so nice, arguing and bullying her to get on her shoes.
I know its because of Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)! The older she gets, the more I understand the underlying sensory issues. But it is still very difficult! And we do not always handle it correctly! (Sorry, Miss!)

I listened to a Sensory Solutions webinar yesterday, and it just ticked all the boxes again! If you do not have a child with sensory issues, you are quick to label the child as being difficult and naughty and of course bad parenting! (As parent you judge yourself!)

Little Miss is the same with clothes. Some clothes gets worn, because it's comfortable, but some does not! Ever! Most of the time the shoes and jackets get a ride in the car to school, and still do not get onto her feet and body!

And then we say: "Sure! You go cold! We don't care!" (But we do!)

Because she just says "NO!"

Winter is here, Little Miss!
Tomorrow we will try again to get on your shoes. Today was a good day, because you kept on your comfy boots when we got to school (although you wanted to take it off).  (High five to us!)


How do you handle sensory issues and clothes?
Are there more children nowadays with sensory issues, or we we now more aware of it?

It's a Monday face

Life is difficult!

- She has to wear her pajamas for first day of vacation school during the holidays! (We had to assure her countless times that everybody is going to wear their pajamas!)
- She can't wear her slippers on it's own, because it scratches her!
- It was difficult to find the right socks to wear with the slippers, because most of her socks scratches her!
- When asked to smile at the camera, she told us that she does not feel very well!
- We could not get all her stuff in one bag to take to school. She is adamant that this bag should not be a school bag.
- When asked about what character she wants to be on Wednesday, we had a whole flood gate of tears, because her princess dress is too tight around the arms. We should go to the shops to get her a new outfit before Wednesday! (Most unlikely that that is going to happen!)
- The swim cap does not fit (it does!), and she is taking her toddler swimming cap today. (Luckily sorted yesterday already)


Mondays are difficult for a little girl!
Mondays are difficult for Mom and Dad with a little girl that struggles with a Monday!

Sensory issues

I love parenting in this Internet Age. When we have questions, we can ask Dear Old Google, and he always comes up with a great number of solutions or diagnose the "problem".

(But it can also lead to over-analysing and worrying! I know!)

I do think our Little Miss has some sensory issues. I have expressed my concerns before. She still get emotional melt-downs or tantrums. 

I have even taken it up in an email with the OT, but she just said it is very difficult to distinguish between auditory sensitivity and just being emotional. She assured me that hearing sensitivity is a real thing that many people are struggling with and that there is much that one can do about it. The auditory nerve has a very strong connection with the limbic system (emotional brain) which makes it sometimes difficult to distinguish whether a child is sensitive about the emotional and whether they are emotional about the sensitivity to sounds. She said that it is important to address the core of the problem! Totally agree, but now how do I get to the core?

I have observed that we are always in a tap-dance with regards clothes and how it feels/bothers her! There is always something about being hungry/not hungry, thirsty, hot/cold, noise around her! She really keeps us on our toes! I also try to sort out the clothes and issues as much as possible, because I know that it can put a severe damper on her going forward and doing something constructive. I imagine myself at school with clothes that bothers me (for example) and then I can't hear what the teacher says... 

It feels to me as if it is getting worse, or maybe it is just because she is able to express herself better! 

I can now understand why she used to not sleep so much when she was little. There must have been something bothering her. I am sooooo glad that I did not let her cry, and I am sooooo glad about the extended breastfeeding. Something that we did do that we do not have to beat ourselves up about! 

On a positive note: Little Miss got a great report card, and we are seeing her teacher for five minutes tonight! I will ask for some feedback from her. I was reluctant to raise a flag from the beginning of the year, and did not say anything to the teacher about her being young for her age group... 

This parenting thing is not for sissies! 

You cannot say because you have successfully raised one human being you have got it figured for the rest! They are all their own persons with their own "manuals", writing them as we go along!

I am writing this down for you, Little Miss! (Six years and four months today!)

We are trying to understand you! 

(I hope you won't be an angry person for life!)

Mom's the Valentine!

This Little Valentine gave us an uphill battle this morning in getting her into a kind of red and white outfit for a Valentine's Day at school.

We already had the clothes picked out last night, but today she was not happy with the red leggings and the hair was not done the way she wanted it! I don't know what the idea of the wings are, but as long as she is happy and and we can get out of the door... We go!

Little Miss is extremely fussy with what she is wearing and how her hair is done!
She only wears about 1% of her clothes, and the rest always have some sort of an issue.
Scratchy, or too warm, or too cold... (That "sensory issue" thing needs to be checked out?)

--------

On Valentine's:

We always love to get into the excitement of a theme.
As long as it is fun, fun, fun... Why not?

Little Miss does not have a special someone yet (so she says!) , and she gets very upset when I suggest that we buy something for a "boyfriend"!
She already bought a Valentine's flower for her mom, which she hid away yesterday. (I caught a glimpse of it...)

She of course bought it with her tuck shop card at the school. This tuck shop card has been the absolute highlight of the year. We have to limit her to only one day a week, because she will go back and back.
Yesterday she was only supposed to buy one thing, but she also bought a small something for her best friend, and of course the flower for me, and a biltong snack, and... (if pressed, she usually confesses in buying more stuff).
But, if the R100 for the month is finished, it will be finished!
It will be a good lesson with the finances!

She was sent to school with some hard cash today, because they have an entrepreneurs market at school.
I can't wait to see what she is going to buy with it...
(I did suggest a present for Dad, as well as for Big Sister!)


Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow!!
What will you be doing?

I would love to go out with Hubby! (*HINT!*)
Big Sister is even coming home for the weekend to baby-sit tomorrow night.
But the finances are low...

- Photo by Dad this morning!