The phases of a Tantrum - as experienced by a parent

Melt-down about 3 missing chappies

(Which she ate herself)

I have read Melissa's blog post about The F-king fours, and was extremely relieved to know that it is not only us who struggle!

Yesterday morning we had a huge tantrum when she threw herself on the bathroom floor after I had brush her teeth. I did not brush her teeth in "circles", apparently!
Last night coming home she wanted the music turned louder in the car. I could not turn it up because we had a passenger.  She did not stop crying!

I am regularly writing or trying some new ways of handling The Tantrums, but I do not feel that we have solved it!

How long can it last?

I am now beginning to see a pattern in our handling of the tantrum.
It definitely plays itself out in phases.


Phases parents go through when dealing with a tantrum:

1. Trying to rectify the problem immediately by giving in to the demand. (It usually does not work!)

2. Reasoning with the child. (It does not work!)

3. Picking them up / sitting with them / trying to hold them. (Usually not possibly with a wriggling child)

4. Giving up by walking away or ignoring.

5. Waiting for them to calm down by themselves.


I realise no 4 is not a very good parenting technique, and I am open to more suggestions?

- The video (I hope it opens up) was at our recent camp where her dad bought her 7 chappies. She put it in his pocket after she had eaten three of them. When she wanted it back, she was extremely disgusted about the fact that there was only four left. Dad said he would buy three again, then he tried explaining that she had eaten it, then he let her cry, and then he gave up...

Hello and goodbye are not part of the vocabulary

At four and a half it should not be difficult to greet people? To say hello and goodbye should be normal behaviour without being prompted?

Not so to Little Missy!

She does not greet people, not even when threatened prompted!
She just stares at them.

I have spoken to her many times about it.
At first she said she was shy, and that she does not know the people. (But she also does not even greet people she knows.)
Then she said that I spoke too softly, and she did not hear when I told her to greet the people.

Her excuse yesterday was that she had forgotten. (I had reminded her just before the time she had to greet the person.)
"I am small, and small people forget!"
"You should not be worried! Okay!" (Her exact words.)

I have been greeting people on her behalf, and hoped that it would have made the difference.

She is able to talk to people she does not know very well, but refuses to greet them.

Some people feel offended when they greet her, and she does not respond! Asking me if there is something wrong. Like the cashiers in the shops, or the people at work....

Maybe it is a personality trait? Something to do with being shy?

How do you get a little one to greet other people?
We always greet people, and I make a point to greet people on her behalf.

Any ideas?


Photo: Patrick Pretorius

Finally - fourth time lucky at the dentist!

We tried for a fourth time yesterday to get Little Missy in the dentist chair!

She promised that this time she would definitely sit and open her mouth. 

And she did!

She was at first reluctant. 

But after her big sister had her check-up and she could look over the dentist shoulder, it made all the difference...

The very capable dentist, Chantelle, did not mind at all that Little Missy was hanging over her arms and instruments. She, in fact, told her to come very close.

We have found our dentist for the Little One (and also the Big Ones)!

Little Missy had a check-up, her first teeth x-ray, and a teeth cleaning. 

All is well with her teeth for now! 

Thank goodness!

I made an Animoto for her fourth visit to the dentist:

Check out this video I made with @animoto - Fourth time lucky - at the dentist! http://t.co/nWBhPmsxKS
— Karen du Toit (@karentoittoit) July 2, 2013

Related post:

Third try at the dentist 

Four and a half years

 I used to post each month on the 21st a monthly update, but the 21st days of each month are passing too quickly...
She's getting bigger! Too soon!

Little Missy is her own personality, and it is such a blessing to see her becoming her own person.

She still wants to be carried, and that's why we have to get a shopping cart.
(She is four; sometimes small, and sometimes big!)
15 kilograms are heavy, especially if she is all over the place.
Look there!
What's that?
Why are they wearing that?


She also does not want to sit in the chair, but at the back of the shopping cart, or standing on the front, holding.
Or being pulled like a roller-blader all over the shopping mall floors. (See the Vine above)
Anything, but walking...
Walking on her own needs creativity with racing from one shop to another, or seeing who gets where first!

I have a friend who still has to carry her 25 kilograms 4-year old! We consider ourselves lucky :D

Do you also struggle with getting them to walk on their own, or should I start worrying?

Mid-year report

Little Missy is doing well at school!
I was totally surprised to learn that she can say all the months of the year! (We did not think to start teaching her ourselves, and here she is doing it.)

We still need to focus on concentration and listening skills!
So we got lists of stuff to do at home!

But she got a mention for her creative work!
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She has been approved for Grade R, and I felt like dancing! I don't know what we would have done if otherwise...
Happy holidays! For the lucky ones! (Not us! :-()
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Please hold thumbs for The Student who is writing 2 subjects tomorrow! Thinking if you!

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