Disciplining the Naughties

I was reading HT’s blog post about her decision to do things differently with her girls from now on – to teach them respect for other people... We sometimes have to back-track, and do things differently with regards to parenting.


I have made a decision that I want to use a different parenting technique with regards to disciplining. The natural or attachment parenting way makes just so much more sense to me now that I am older. I want to reward and focus on the positive, and not punish by hitting or by any physical means.

But the old bad habits seem to seep in if we don’t check them. Whenever Mieka got hurt, I slapped or hit the “guilty” object: “Naughty chair!” She caught on very quickly, and were hitting as well. It is a technique, and it works short term...

“Naughty floor!” Slap-slap!

“Naughty table!” Slap-slap!

Dries remarked that it is actually not very nice, especially when she started to hit us as well!

“Naughty Papa!”

I had to conquer! It does not work when we try to instil a discipline where violence is not part of it, but we are hitting at stuff when it is “Naughty!”

It was not at all difficult to change everything to “Kissing”!

She hits her head: “Poor Mieka, let me kiss the head!”

Kisses showered! And it works magically, every time!

Scary! We have to be very vigilant with regards to our way of doing things. What else do I do “wrong”, or fall back into default mode? Retorical question to self! It needs to be answered every now and again.

What have you caught yourself doing “wrong” with regards to parenting?

The toddler is not hitting other babies anymore

A while back we were worried about the baby hitting other babies. We saw the disturbing behaviour while she was “playing” with a friend.
But yesterday Mieka was happily playing alongside her friend Zander . They both complained a bit when the other one had a play thing in their hands they also wanted to have. But it was not a major upheaval in the baby politics. (Take that for worrying about the little things – most of it get sorted by themselves!)
It was another day in paradise, enjoyed with friends in Potchefstroom in South Africa.
Really awful times! (Evil grin)

Sign language for the baby

I have voiced my concern about Mieka who screams and hits at other babies when they come near her. Tasneem, an occupational therapist, suggested that “some children develop conceptual language faster than they develop language ability “. They get frustrated, and that’s why they start to hit. Some throw tantrums. She suggested we could try sign language. It has made me think that it is worth a try. I googled some of information on the Internet, but I am not sure how to learn the signs to the baby. Last night I tried to learn her about the sign for a ball, holding my hand in a round form, and twisting it. I did not get any response.
Mieka waves at us, and she claps her hands when we sing “Handjies klap” (clap the hands), but we are still trying to teach her how to blow kisses to us. She starts to make the b-r-r-r sound while pulling her hand over her mouth when we blow kisses to her.
Do we create our own sign language, or is there a good site out there which could help me? I am not very creative coming up with signs.

(Another photo by grandfather James on Sunday)

The baby is hitting now

We saw a disturbing thing this weekend. Mieka has learnt a behaviour that we do not know where it is coming from. She starts screaming when another baby touches her or her toys. I asked at the crèche, and apparently she is the one who also starts hitting at the other babies when they come too close. She is apparently also the only one exhibiting this behaviour.
Where did she learn to do something like this? She has never seen such behaviour at home. She does not get upset when we play with her toys. There is also no hitting or slapping involved. It must be something that she learnt at the crèche? Some sort of survival thing between the other babies? There are six of them at the crèche. But we are horrified that we have an eleven month old bully in the making. Or is this the result of the woman at the crèche who has been fired for giving a baby a hiding? Maybe she gave Mieka a hiding as well?
How do we unlearn this behaviour? I did not think that she would start with this sort of thing at such an early age.
Or is she a small Joan of Arc in the making, fighting for her rights? Maybe it is only our perspective on the behaviour – a child should be able to fend for herself? Needless to say, we are really worried…

Photo: Mieka on Sunday (taken by her grandfather James)