The sketch that helped me understand my child

Wendy Bertagnole webinar about difficult sensory behaviour

I have to share this here. There are definitely other parents who also struggle with the same. I wish I had know about this much earlier. I have felt in my gut that there is more to the behaviour, and that it is not a lack of discipline or a lack of respect. The reason for the continuing melt-downs! The better we understand our child, the better she will be able to understand herself. The better we will also be able to work on the skills necessary to handle her world.

MLP Friendship Day with the original Besties

My Little Pony Cutie Mark Crew Collectable - Rainbow Dash

30 July is International Friendship Day 

#MLPFriendshipDay

Hasbro combines it with the release of My Little Pony Cutie Mark Crew Collectible range 

My Little Pony Cutie Mark Crew Confetti Blind Pack

Per usual Hasbro did a personalised blog drop with a Cutie Mark Crew Confetti Blind Pack. How cute is Rainbow Dash? There are 24 to collect in each series. (My *hoarder heart* is soooo happy!)

The importance of playtime

Monopoly

"Save time for playtime."

This video from Hasbro made me shed a few tears. Play time is extremely important for children. We are so busy in our daily lives that we do not have time for the most important thing: Playing. We also forget that we should make time to play with our children as well. They crave the attention of their parents in fun interactive playing.

We CAN make some time each day to engage more meaningful with our kids.

Thanks for the reminder, Hasbro! This weekend we will take out the Monopoly again. (I had to scroll back quite a few months to find the photo shared above. That's scary!)

Visit Hasbro Gaming @MonopolySouthAfrica on Facebook for more information.


Disclaimer: We are not paid to post this, but we got a Hasbro Monopoly as gift a while ago, and we have not played in quite a while.

Mid-year exams - a balancing act

Rope walking

We are in the thick of Grade 5 exams. Miss Fine tells me each day that she did not prepare enough, and that she does not feel good about the upcoming papers. We try to help her as much as possible, but ultimately she is the one who needs to get the material into her head...

We are still trying to find the best way to learn, and help her learn. To find that perfect balance of help, but also letting her take over her studies independently. The underlying anxiety also doesn't help, but the best we can do for it is to prepare enough. (Although, there is never an enough for the highly strung...)

Parenting before work - I high-fived myself

School drop-off selfie

Yesterday. It was one of those mornings. So many things had to happen, and it had to happen before 6:30 am. We had to be in the car by 6:05 am. Traffic is hectic again! It's February. Hubby did his share and made sure breakfast was ready at 5:55. He even ran after the car with my morning coffee. We were out of the gate at 6:07. Not bad! Thank you so much, Hubby! You are a star!

BEE MORE - Inspirational Bumblebee

Bumblebee - CC Transformers South Africa

Bumblebee, the movie: It's 1987, 20 years before the events of the first Transformer movie. Charlie, an 18-year old not so ordinary girl, discovers a yellow beetle in the local junkyard of a small California beach town. Her dad, who has taught her how to work on cars, has died, and together with a scared and broken Bumblebee they are able to help each other. The antagonists are Sector 9 (a government Agency led by Agent Burns) as well as the Decepticons from Cybertron. See the Trailer

Bumblebee - CC Transformers South Africa

Bumblebee released here on 21 December, and it's still on the circuit. The whole family loved this movie. Most kids can identify with Charlie. She is a worthy female role model for our girls. We, Hubby and I,  also downloaded the Bumblebee soundtrack and has been listening to all the eighties music. We love the eighties time period of the movie.


The movie has been graded for fans from 10 years and older. They are very strict now with the age restrictions. Luckily Miss Fine just made the mark. 

The character of Bumblebee inspires fans to be more when they need motivation and courage. Educational Psychologist, Melanie Hartgill, has put together a list for parents, teachers and caregivers on how to help kids embrace kindness, fearlessness and confidence. To be the BEST they can BE!

Plans for the weekend in a cold Jozi

Coffee with a view

This is a short update post. Life is changing so fast, and I want to come back here to see how it was ... The Eldest is busy starting to move her things. She is still most of the times at home. The wedding is less than a month away. We are excited!

Last night we were following her on our phones via Live location while she came back from the airport at 11 pm. With an Uber, and we had the Uber guy's name stored as well. That's cool, but also seriously testing our nerves. If the Uber stands still for too long, or the signal picks her up in a random suburb next to the highway.... We begin to worry!!! (I'm sure we will never stop worrying.) Technology makes it easy, but also makes us worry about every little detail. Because, if there really happens something to her, how will we find her when we have to start driving? Screen print the last place on the map? Race to there? Just some of the thoughts that goes through my head at 11 to 11:30pm at night. Luckily she was safe, and her Uber driver delivered her safe and on time.

There's a Kitchen Tea and a Bachelorette's Party coming up this weekend. The Eldest knows about it, but no details. She's got great bridesmaids that sorted everything. Will be reporting back about the Kitchen Tea. We are looking forward to it. I am sure after this the wedding vibes will kick in seriously.

Miss Fine has been on holiday forever. She has been at work with me for three days, and then at Vacation School for two days this week. It has been challenging, but better than when she was younger. I love the fact that she can keep herself busy for longer. She used up my data in record time at the office, but she was reading as well, and enjoyed going to the library here at work. She exchanged a book that she was not feeling for another book the next day. She also helped me with my work, writing on DVD's and pulling up a roster of my daily work which I now have on my door. That was so sweet of her. (No sarcasm here.) Thanks, Miss Fine. I enjoyed our conversations while you kept me company. We don't always get so much time together.

Tonight we will be "chilling" (it's cold here in Johannesburg) at home, and hopefully the weekend will not go by in a blink.

What's your plans for the weekend?

Gadgets that make life easier - look no further than the MamaMagic Products Awards 2017

Congratulations to all the MamaMagic New products Awards winners

The MamaMagic New Products Awards are a great way to find those gadgets that makes life easier, for parents and for children! The Awards ceremony was the previous week. I get jealous excited when I see all the nice gadgets that parents get to use nowadays! We don't NEED it, but it makes life so MUCH EASIER! Luckily we have a cousin and they have just announced that they are going to be parents. The 2017 award winners are definitely some ESSENTIALS they would NEED to buy!

MamaMagic New Products Awards

Here's the gadgets to put on the list of parenting gadgets that make life easier.

How to improve Facebook engagement in 2018 - Jodene Shaer

MamaMagic New Product Awards at Emoyeni Estate

MamaMagic is not only known for the MamaMagic exhibitions throughout the country. It has become a powerful platform partnering with the best products and people - from pregnancy to parenting babies and children. It is a platform to kick start new products and to empower the skill set necessary to drive this innovative growing industry.

Milestones magazine by MamaMagic - New Products Awards event

The MamaMagic New Products Awards Ceremony for 2017 was held at the beautiful Emoyeni Estate last week. It is always exciting to see the products, and meet inspiring people. Last week did not disappoint. Jodene Shaer from Chat Factory was there to get the business owners up to speed with what's happening in the social media sphere. Of course everything has changed again this year, and you can't be doing social media the same as previously!  Jodene has most of the answers for most of the platforms, and we need to know what to do differently this year. Facebook has changed their algorithms considerably. I share some of her insights about FB here!

2017 in review

This year has been tough! But here we are! We made it through! I look at my 2016 Done and Dusted post, and I had a few expectations of 2017. Some came true, some not!  I'll  run through the list again, thanks to Tanya at Dear Max and Rebecca who reminds us each year of Nafisa's questions.

I look back, and think to myself; This was not so bad! Why did I think the sky was falling down and everything was bleak?

As an archivist I get to listen to many the-sky-is-falling speeches, and predictions of a future that is not painted as bright! And then it's a future that we have already surpassed, and we made it through much better than we thought!

2017 had it's moments, but it was also a tough one!

Cheers to us for making it through!

Mom and daughter dates are also needed

Little Miss asked yesterday that we go on a shopping trip alone!

I was planning to go to the shops quickly for the weekly lunch-box shopping in any case. So we just had to agree on the best shopping spot. She wanted to go to China Mall, but I convinced her to go to the newly opened West Pack Lifestyle (big-plastic-and-everything-you-can-think-of-supposed-to-be-cheaper-shop). It was a win-win for both of us, and she got a free balloon at West Pack. We also could do the lunch-box shopping at the nearby Woollies and get that cappuccino!

Parenting is humbling

I have to laugh at myself and my thoughts around parenthood. The Universe has a quirky way of coming back to slap you with your own smugness.

I am the older mom with a daughter that has successfully gone through the stages of growing up and has successfully completed her studies. She is working and doing her thing! I have got the "evidence" that I rock this parenting gig! I was smug!

Ha-ha!

Unfortunately kids do not have the same manual. They are not the same!
What was I thinking?

Suffice to say that I have my thoughts around parenthood handed back to me on a silver platter! I can't do it the same as the previous time!

I am also older (and wiser) and have learnt much from parenting experts and parents around the world. That what I thought was good parenting techniques previously, is also frowned upon today!

So, although I am the older mom, I am doing it again! I am writing a new manual. And it is only for the youngest! (It is child-specific!)

And I won't judge people who struggle with parenting, and I won't judge the judgy eyes when we have the full-blown melt-down! Because I know, karma comes around!


Have you changed your parenting style over the years, since you had your first child?

5 Things you would not have experienced without being a parent

Being a parent is one of the most difficult things in life!

Who knew that the older you get, the less you think you know anything about this parenting journey? I even have a claim on a child we successfully managed to raise, but that doesn't guarantee anything! (You would think that I would have the know-how! Not so!)

Raising the Little M has made me realize that each of them comes with a different manual. Some of the manuals are definitely more easier to understand!

As a mom I am always thinking about what I could have done better, or different.

I wanted to compile a random list of some of the parenting woes that comes with being a parent. Who think of this when they start with their parenting journey?


5 Things you did not think about before becoming a parent

- You have to attend school meetings, revues, concerts, parenting evenings as well as hang around the school endlessly waiting for activities to end. Who knew you would go back to school?


- You not only have to get yourself out of the door in the mornings, but the little ones as well. Each successful drop-off at school with children fully clothed, with a packed school bag and a lunch box should get a medal. (How do parents with multiple children manage?) It is an accomplishment, and we should praise ourselves more for just doing this!

- You worry constantly about your child when they have no friends, and also when they have friends. What can you do to help them in getting friends? What can you do when the girl politics are making her miserable?

- You are always searching for misplaced stuff that's not yours! In the house. Going back to places. At school. Maybe life is preparing us for our own later years?

- How many times have you longed for that lunch box that got sent to school that comes back intact? Those times that you have emptied your purse at the last minute and you did not make your own lunch? Too many times!


Do you have any other points I can add to this list?

Would I change any of this?
No! But it helps to get it out of the system!

KEEP CALM

Kindness - what I want my kids to be!

Kindness! We always aspire to be happy, and I want my kids to be happy! But how do we get happy? Because "Happiness is an inside job!" (My Eldest's most favourite expression!)

In most recent times I have read a number of thoughts around happiness and kindness! A most sure way to get to happiness is through kindness! It makes so much sense!

The prompt for Roxy Hutton's #cgscreative monthly Instagram last week was kindness. How do you show kindness! For sure it is in the little things! Trying to help others as far as possible. Giving that coin at the robot, or helping to collect for a worthy goal. Even kindness to everybody around you, and most of all, your own family!

Kindness is the one thing I can show and learn my youngest as well! It makes me extremely happy when she see people we can help! When she tells me that me must help the man at the robot who she has seen has children. They are sometimes at the robot with him...

To teach kindness is not a difficult thing! We need so much of it in our world!

How do you teach kindness to your children?

The Working Mothers Expo - next time I am taking a day!

The Working Mothers Expo finally came around this past weekend. We went to the Sandton Convention Centre on Saturday afternoon. I plan to take a day (at least) next time (in May!) to pamper and experience more than we could in an afternoon

I listened to two speakers, Janice Windt, the MD of Working Mothers Expo, and Shaney from You Baby and I.

Janice Windt

Janice Windt shared her parenting and career journey up until The Working Mothers Expo. She is already planning the next Working Mothers Expo for next year as well.

A great life hack from her: Life hack - take 5 min each day to write down priorities! 

Shan Vijendranath

Shan is a very successful blogger who stressed the importance of a social media strategy:

Her tips for a social media strategy include the following points:

1. Identify clear goals
2. Know your target market
3. Listen and compare, but stay authentic
4. Pick the right platforms
5. Build your brand
6. Mix it up by keeping up with Industry Trends
7. Engage your audience
8. Attract potential clients
9. Listen to your analytics
10. Plan and schedule

Little Miss loved the Bounce Inc area, and could not get enough! There were lots for her to do!

But next time I will definitely take a day to listen to more speakers, to take my time through the exhibitors, and to get a pamper in! (And maybe leave the rest of the family at home...)

I finally found the Mooncup (menstrual cup) at the Expo, but that warrants its own post.



Disclaimer: We got a family ticket for one day at the Expo.

Is my child addicted to gaming?

I was invited to The Think Ahead information sharing session about Gaming at the iStore on Sandton Drive last night.

Is gaming overtaking your child’s life, impacting sleep, health, relationships, academic experiences and general well-being?*
      
This Think Ahead information session is designed to help parents understand and discover the following:
     •      does your child have a serious gaming “problem”?
     •      why are games so compelling?
     •      how do games affect sleep, learning, memory, relationships and health?
     •      what games teach our children and games’ positive effects
     •      effective processes to help set limits around games  

The topic is extremely relevant today, as our children do not grow up in the same world as we did! We now have to parent in a digital age, where we don't have the experience and know-how of growing up with digital devices and technology.

Pam Macmillan, currently Edtech coach at St Stithians Boys’ College and Greg Crighton, an educational psychologist with extensive experience in schools and private practice, gave some solid advice to parent with regards gaming and children. The "trick" is to be involved and to set up negotiated ground rules from a young age.

There are some negatives of gaming!

But the good far outweighs the bad!

Take control as a parent by sitting down with your child to discuss and negotiate time management. It boils down to having open conversations with your children. Take the time to "walk-through" the games (YouTube videos etc) and to play it with them. To use gaming as punishment (by taking it away), is not as effective as rather using it as a reward system: "The sooner your chores/homework are done, the sooner you can play and have a longer play time!"
It has been found that balanced children who play games, but also take part in other activities, such as sport and culture, are achieving better academically.

Pam Macmillan

Parenting controls with regards gaming:


- Put parental controls in place

- Encourage a balanced lifestyle

- Games should be a privilege, not a right

- Develop and maintain open communication

- Don't over react

- Encourage responsibility

- Choose the environment

- Educate yourself

- Play games with your child


The positives far outweighs the negatives with regards gaming and children. As in everything else in life, we need balance! We can provide the balance as parents!

Some final notes: Visual learning is effective! Gamification of learning is important in the future!  The brain selectively remembers, choosing the most stimulating moments of the day (memory and attention). To transfer the focal attention to the learning situation makes 100% sense. The learning outcomes are less important than the process. Pam Macmillan concluded to say that the benefits of learning with devices far outweighs the disadvantages!


*No, my child is not yet addicted to gaming, but I can start conversations with her about screen time, and balance in life! "Phew!"

Parenting is a series of negotiations about clothes

It happens every single day! The negotiations about clothes!

It helps a bit that she wears school clothes, or we would never have been in time during the school week! It is worse over the weekend when she has a whole cupboard full of clothes to choose from, and she only wants to wear her favourites that are in the wash. The best meltdowns have been about clothes and what to wear!

This morning she wanted to go without shoes, although it was raining and cold. She has eczema underneath her toes, and it is never a good idea to go without shoes, as it gets very dry and itchy when she goes barefoot.

But that does not matter! We have to tell her each morning it is a better idea to wear her shoes! And it needs a LOT of convincing.

Then the jacket. She never wants to wear a jacket, UNTIL she is freezing! Usually when we have arrived at our destination... Or in the shops at the frozen section... That's why the parents have to drag a jacket along every single time!  (Now if we can only remember it every single time!)

She has always been very particular about her clothes. I called her a Princessionista at nearly three years of age, and she still has very specific ideas about clothes!


Do you also struggle daily with negotiations about clothes, or are you lucky with kids that wear the jacket and shoes?

She will never forget this day!

Friend politics

Yesterday she told me "I will never forget this day!"
It was a rough day for Little Miss!

The little girls make us crazy with their relationship issues.

We saw a lot of it on the camp at Vredefort Dome this weekend.

Little Miss told me the previous day that her friend were forcing her to go where she wanted to go. By physically turning her around and pushing her... Little Miss told her that she should stop or she won't be playing with her anymore...

Today, the same friend told her that she is not her friend anymore. She ignored Little Miss and played with another friend in front of her, taunting her.

Little Miss had no friends for the school breaks. She said she cried a lot!

She said she will never forget this day!

Little Miss is definitely not the innocent one! She can't expect her friend to keep on playing with her when she told her the previous day she wasn't playing with her! I told her that she also cannot be prescriptive with her friendships, and to tell them what they should and shouldn't do! Also that she should have more than one special friend, and that she should play with a group of friends...

But I had a very sad little girl with me tonight!
Little Miss also told me this morning that she can't wait for 6 days to pass. Apparently there is a week's block on the friendship. (I only heard about it today.) But luckily she's got an old friend willing to play with her who also had a fall-out with her regular friends....


Just this week Sharon of The Blessed Barrenness also had an issue with mean girls...

Grey hairs!
I KNOW why it's grey!

How do we help them negotiate this minefield of relationships? I always try to teach to be the friend you want your friends to be! I hope it sinks in!

Looking at the related posts below, it seems this is a recurring theme!
Sigh! SIGH! SIGH!

But maybe this is the way the girls learn how to negotiate relationships with their friends, and we should welcome it and try to teach with each episode?


Related posts:

- Girl politics and how to teach them to not be bullies

- The heartache of girl politics

- Bullying, we are stronger than we think

- Little girls can be so mean!

Inspiring: Lauren de Swardt of Kids Emporium

Lauren de Swardt of Kids Emporium

I always love hearing stories of success and entrepreneurial spirit. Of course it is even greater when it is a woman who started her nationwide Kids Emporium when she was only 22.  This was 13 years ago. Kids Emporium has also launched their online store this year, as well as opened up an international store in Surrey in the UK.

Emoyeni Estate

I was invited to a bloggers’ breakfast in the beginning of July at the lovely Emoyeni Estate, and was struck by this quote:

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers and the believers and thinkers but most of all surround yourself with those who see greatness within you” – Kids Emporium

This is exactly what Lauren de Swardt has has done with her business. She was looking for the best in products when she was pregnant, and to cater for the little ones when they got older. She has sourced the best products, brands and people through the years to make Kids Emporium the sought-after go-to place for pregnant women and parents.

Kids Emporium combines the practical for easier parenting, but also includes the “style” factor being pregnant and raising children.

Lauren de Swardt

The Kids Emporium website makes me wish for a do-over! (Not really! ;-) There is enough pregnant moms I can spoil, and one day in the distant future I will become a grandmother! (Not soon, though!)
In the meantime the maternity wear, the childrenswear, the travel systems, furniture, décor, toys and gifts are drool-worthy!

I love that Lauren has a reconstructed family of four which she manages to juggle with being a successful business woman as well!
Inspirational! She makes it look easy!

 

Thanks Lauren and Kids Emporium!
It was a treat!

Daughter, wishing you only the best on your birthday

Birthday girl

Dearest Daughter

It is such a great journey to have lived with you for 23 years now! I wish you the best on this day and into your future!

I am so proud of you for finally getting that last subject (and getting those marks!), and that you are enjoying your new life as a working adult! (I can't call you The Student anymore, although you have already signed up for an online course...) Although still under "probation" at work, but I am sure it won't be a draw-back! Most probably helping you along the way!

You are the reason I don't get despondent about parenting that much! ;-) I raised you as the perfect example of what we want our kids to become! Self-sufficient, able, happy, life-affirming go-getters in life!
If I did it right once, surely we can do it right this time?
But I do realize it's more about you and the person you are, and not about our parenting successes or failures!

Littler Miss was very excited about your birthday! She could not wait to give you the earrings she made for you from the Kids Emporium breakfast stash. (See photo above) She also insisted to buy you toothpaste, because she does not want to share her toothpaste with us.
That's why you got your present with the toothpaste! (We cannot dream up these things, even if we tried... ;-0)

You are very special to us and Little Miss! She was a bit sad that we can't go with you tonight when you see your friends, but the restaurant outing last night made up for it!

Enjoy your day!
Love you!