We got this little gem of a book to review: The Brave Little African Girl, by Thabitha Mathabatha. It's so satisfying when you enjoy the character and the storyline, AND there's a life lesson that lingers on. Our children are going through a difficult time with regards loss. Loss of normal life and the tragic loss of loved ones. The book learns us about the importance of the "Village". It takes a village to raise a child. Society can help children dealing with loss and depression.
This is a great book for girl and boys 5 - 10 years of age.
Stories about inspiring women and girls are always great to share! We got an email about Parktown Girls who are grooming female scientists and engineers. We have a Miss that only has a few years (3 years eeek!) before she also has to decide what direction she is going to go with regards her career and her subjects. How do we prepare girls like her to choose a career in STEM?
South Africa is in desperate need of qualified scientists and
engineers. Compounding this, only 11% of engineers globally are female
according to an article published by UNESCO in October 2017. This is a
worldwide phenomenon, despite a rising global demand for qualified
science, technology, engineering and, maths (STEM) professionals.
Tracey Megom, Principal at Parktown High School for Girls, says the idea for a Science Centre was born 15 years ago, but the school initially struggled to come up with the money to build it, so parents started fundraising and looking for partners. Anglo American helped them with their dream by a
multi-million Rand investment that is already impacting this skills
gap.
Following
Anglo American’s contribution, the construction of two conjoined
laboratory and classroom facilities for life sciences, physics and
chemistry began in 2015 and the science centre was opened in late 2016
to the school’s 1 100 pupils. Its effect was almost immediate: 30% more
Grade 9 girls chose the sciences as matric subjects.
Parktown
High School for Girls is a government high school in Johannesburg that
serves a diverse grouping of girls across class, race, and culture, and
happens to be one of Gauteng’s province top-performing schools. It
boasts a consistent 100% matric pass rate and achieved a 97% Bachelor
Degree entrance rate in the 2017 matric results. The school has been
acknowledged by the University of the Witwatersrand as its top feeder
school.
Tracy Megom answers a few questions, about herself and how to inspire young girls.
I have met a most inspiring person through my future son-in-law. She's his sister, and she has a great story to tell. After reading her story, you will understand why footprints are such an important part of her message! Although she has physical limitations, she is a model, motivational speaker as well as a role-model to girls!
I don't think we can ever get enough of My Little Pony. They are all about magic and friendship! But most of all, they are just cute!
I love the fact that all of them represent an element of harmony that helps share important friendship values. Knowing girls and the importance they place on their friends, it is values that needs to be echoed to them!
Twinsaver honours special Women in August with a special edition pack supporting breast cancer survivors by donating a portion of the 9-pack to charity.
The story of one of the young survivors, Jenna Skews, hits very close to home. Our Eldest also had to deal with finding a lump in her breast. It was a big shock, as we realized that 18 year olds can get breast cancer! The first diagnoses was that is was non-malignant, and that we should not even worry. Luckily we got a second opinion, and now we know that she cannot ignore it, and needs to check it regularly. So far the fibroadenoma has not increased in size, and the hope is that it will disappear after a few years. But we cannot ignore it! It needs to be checked!
The upcoming blog posts will be divided into girl and boy toys, but there are also toys that both genders will definitely enjoy to play with! Of course I will be starting with toys for girls, as my little girl loves her girl toys. You can say what you want, but she's not really into cars or robots.
Libresse is breaking taboos with the Vagina Varsity and now with "Unembarrass your perod!" The Fearlessly campaign deliberately makes fun of the world's attempt to use strange metaphors when describing periods and pads!
"Worldwide, women just aren't comfortable talking about pads and periods. In South Africa's conservative society, stigma and shame about periods are entrenched. South African girls and women learn to not discuss vaginal care or associated concerns like odour control out loud and the result is that myths and health problems are common."
- Boniswa Pezisa (Net#work BBDO South Africa CEO)
We had lots of fun making our own videos on unembarrassed.co.za at the launch of Libresse's "Unembarrass your period"-campaign! Mine is here: Unembarrass your period by showing just how crazy it is when we don't say what we mean when we are talking about periods!
This campaign rings true to home as we have just embarked on our own journey of opening up the world here at home. Little Miss has lots of questions that have to be answered. We have a book that helps, but most of the time we have to be ready with the answers! I had to field questions about condoms in Dischem two weeks back. I have learnt to keep a straight face, and answer as truthfully with the correct terminology as possible. As soon as she gets the answer, she moves on to the next thing.
Libresse has had so much success with their Vagina Varsity campaign. You and your daughters can sign up here for a free four week course delivered to your inbox every day: Vagina Varsity.
Vagina Varsity success
The Libresse pad ad is also not embarrassing! Space rockets, teddy bears and saxophones are part of Libresse deliberately making fun of the world's attempt to use strange metaphors when describing periods and pads.
Live fearless!
There is so much in the world to worry about! Let's make it one thing less for our daughters!
She does not have friends at school, and the children do not want to play with her! She walks alone before school, and sits with her jersey pulled over her legs in the mornings. She has no friends in the mornings. She does not have friends who want to play with her at breaks, and she has to eat her food on her own. The ballet girls do not want to partner with her, and she’s the odd one out! (You saw that, Mom! Yes, I did!) This is what she told me again last night!
What can a mother (and father) do? We both wanted to console her last night! (Our hearts are breaking with her!)
Only to remind her that she has 7 days left of this school year! Next year is going to be better because it is going to be in a new school with new friends! (I really hope so!)
She is such a sensitive little person, and sometimes she goes into analysis paralysis! I do not always see a lonely girl when I go to fetch her at school, but if it is her perspective that nobody wants to play with her! That IS her life right now!
I am planning to use Cat’s advice next year, of identifying a strong girl and organising play dates from the start!
Only 7 days! This day included!
Maybe it is just this year that had enough?
You can do this, Little Miss!
Little Miss told me the previous day that her friend were forcing her to go where she wanted to go. By physically turning her around and pushing her... Little Miss told her that she should stop or she won't be playing with her anymore...
Today, the same friend told her that she is not her friend anymore. She ignored Little Miss and played with another friend in front of her, taunting her.
Little Miss had no friends for the school breaks. She said she cried a lot!
She said she will never forget this day!
Little Miss is definitely not the innocent one! She can't expect her friend to keep on playing with her when she told her the previous day she wasn't playing with her! I told her that she also cannot be prescriptive with her friendships, and to tell them what they should and shouldn't do! Also that she should have more than one special friend, and that she should play with a group of friends...
But I had a very sad little girl with me tonight!
Little Miss also told me this morning that she can't wait for 6 days to pass. Apparently there is a week's block on the friendship. (I only heard about it today.) But luckily she's got an old friend willing to play with her who also had a fall-out with her regular friends....
Just this week Sharon of The Blessed Barrenness also had an issue with mean girls...
Grey hairs!
I KNOW why it's grey!
How do we help them negotiate this minefield of relationships? I always try to teach to be the friend you want your friends to be! I hope it sinks in!
Looking at the related posts below, it seems this is a recurring theme!
Sigh! SIGH! SIGH!
But maybe this is the way the girls learn how to negotiate relationships with their friends, and we should welcome it and try to teach with each episode?
I was met by a very upset face yesterday. A friend "made up with her after they had a fight, and told her that she would play with her yesterday". But she did not follow up with her promise...
She was extremely upset (and unpleasant) for the rest of the afternoon!
My heart breaks for her!
I know Little Miss plays her own politics, and sometimes also does not want to play with some of her girl friends. She was busy making a present for her friend (A McD Minion covered in a pretty envelope) yesterday afternoon. To give at school today. (My bleeding heart! sic)
I have tried to explain (countless times!) that she can play with more than one friend, and that she should always be the friend that everybody wants to play with!
Shame, my Little One. (I wish I could make it better!)
I hope you have nice friends today!
"The story of women's struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist
nor to any one organization
but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights."
-Gloria Steinem
I was alerted to Elsa’s website, Stronger than you think, by Lynette (A work in Progress) who is her sister. Elsa’s daughter disappeared with a friend, and was only found 4 days later. (This is of course great news!)
All because of bullying at school!
They knew that her daughter was unhappy and that she was bullied, but they were hoping to sort it out with the school. This did not have a satisfactory result.
Elsa has learnt a couple of lessons along the way. I am also worried about the girl politics at school and the fact that little girls can be so mean to each other! We get feedback on a daily basis about the ugly things the little girls say to each other! It makes Little Miss very unhappy!
Elsa wrote me the following, and she agreed that I can share it on my blog:
“Since I started making noises about the prevalence of bullying and what I perceive to be the inability or unwillingness of the school staff to deal with it, I have had a lot of responses from all over the world... it is quite overwhelming. I am hoping that the website I am setting up will be a place where people can find encouragement, support and maybe some help/advice for dealing with their own situations. Three of my four children have had to deal with bullies. My son has been the only one subjected to physical bullying. We spent quite a bit of time on phone calls to and meeting with the principal and teachers. Unfortunately there was very little done about it, but we most certainly made a lot of noise. My son is no longer being bullied. Not because they stopped being bullies but because he started Muay Thai which has given him the confidence to stand up for himself. Both my daughters were subjected to verbal bullying directly and through the spreading of rumours as well as cyber bullying. My eldest dealt with it by facing up to them, but my youngest is a marshmallow who could not deal with it at all - she became so paranoid that she no longer felt safe at home, even. She ran away with a friend and was missing for 4 days. It was hell. Since her return we have moved her to a private school and she is also seeing a counsellor. We are hopeful that she will be able to deal with any new problems in the future. I am sorry to hear that your daughter already has to deal with other mean kids. I unfortunately don't have any fool proof answers as to how to stop it. Emma (my youngest) was teased and insulted daily when she was that age. It broke my heart. Unfortunately the only thing I could do was to counsel her not to resort to the same bad behaviour, to avoid the nasty girls as much as she could and to tell the teacher when she felt she couldn't cope with it. My husband and I raised the matter with the school several times and insisted that something be done about it, with no noticeable results. Eventually they found someone else to pick on and left her alone. There is no feeling of victory in that, is there? As a parent, you have the right to insist that the adults where your child is attending keep her safe. You may be able to reach out to the parents of the children involved - hopefully they will be receptive. Quite often they are not, but it is worth a try. You can also look into your legal rights and whether you can involve the police. I thought I would mention to you what a friend of mine's gorgeous child is doing, because I think it is a brilliant idea. She started a colouring-in club at her school (she is 9). This provides a place for children who do not feel safe during break times to get together and participate in activities. She started the club about a month ago and now has 21 children who regularly participate. Her mother, I and a few other people are providing the supplies. It is inexpensive and effective. So at least for now those little ones are safe from their tormentors.”
Thanks Elsa!
I was just reminded again that we can’t ignore these things or tell our children to ignore it!
We have to act and to help them to handle the bullies! I love the idea of a colouring club!
Elsa is based in Australia, but the problem of bullying is a worldwide one!
You can help Elsa by sending details of where to get help in your own country:
elsa @ stronger than you think .me
Elsa's website is also going live next Tuesday, and it will be worth checking out more stories, including an interview with Kitty who started the colouring club at her school.
The most recent Dove Beauty Legacy campaign made me think again about the legacy I want my daughters to have! Now, at this very moment!
I want them to know they are beautiful!
Inside!
AND
Outside!
When you are young, you are always looking at the flaws and the shortcomings in the mirror.
You are always trying to get thinner and fitter and working off the big bum.
Always feeling that you are not the optimal version of the version you think you should be!
Now I know how much time I have spend on these time-wasting thoughts and activities.
I like myself so much more now that I am older. When I think about my younger self I know that I was beautiful already, and I should have spend my time on LIVING!
I am definitely not a more beautiful version of my younger self, but I am happy with who I am now!
I like my big bum because I can SIT on it! (Thank you Wise Age!)
[For health reasons I need to get rid of a few kilograms, but it won't stop me from fretting about how I look and have an impact on what I am doing!]
I look at all the young girls that is the same age of my two daughters.
They are all beautiful!
I want them to know that, and I want them to live that!
To have the confidence to march out with gusto into Life and know that they are beautiful at that very moment in time!
In the spirit of Women's Day and Month in South Africa!
To my two daughters:
You are strong!
You are beautiful!
You can do whatever you set your mind out to do!
You are the best version of yourself right now!
Do not wait for a photograph years later to say to yourself that you were beautiful all long!
Don't let anybody else tell you something different! Because it will not be true!
I am telling you the truth now!
You are beautiful!
The hockey season has just started at school, and Little Miss had her first official hockey lesson yesterday. We had to go and buy the mouth guard as well, as they are not allowed to play if they don't have one.
When I went to fetch her yesterday, she told me that her mouth guard was missing when she had to get dressed for her hockey practice. She saw that a friend of hers was running around with one that looks exactly the same as hers. She told her different stories about where she got it from. Since she don't have hockey, it is strange that she had the same one yesterday.
I asked the friend about where she got it. She first told me it was from Pick 'n Pay. I then asked if I could phone her mother. She then said now she got it from her father. (They are divorced) I then said could I phone the father. She then changed the story that it comes from her aunt (or lady that is married to the father). I had to leave it at that...
I went and bought another mouth guard as it is already ruined. It is one of those mouth guards you have to heat up and fit exactly to the teeth.
My question is: Do I phone the mother to tell her about a potential issue? It seems the girl is already using the divorce to scapegoat between the two parents. I am sure she told the mother she got it from the father.
Or do I just leave it? (If I am the parent, I would like to know.)
This is a second time I am going through the highs and lows of friendships with a little girl.
There are more politics in these friendships than the politics of South Africa! (What it sometimes feels like!) To Little Miss of course, but also to us while we have to listen to all the sad stories each day! I'm sure it is more complex and exhausting than the stuff we hear on the news every day.
I hear about the best friend who do not want to play with her! And then sometimes only at certain times. Then Little Miss is all alone during recess at school, and she doesn't have any friends. Then another girl wants to play with Little Miss, but Little Miss does not want to play with her...
The politics are all about including and excluding!
They are all reverting to this bully behaviour! Little Miss included!
We do not see a lonely girl when we fetch her at school. She is always busy playing with someone! The Teacher has also thrown an eye, and she also doesn't see the "outcast" as she complains she is!
We had a Parent evening last week, and I discussed the friends' issue with the Teacher. Little Miss was there. The Teacher suggested that she plays with a little girl in the class who also complains about being alone. The response was: "But I don't like her! I don't want to play with her!"
(Me: *Throws hands in air with eyes rolling!*)
That made me realise that we have work to do with Little Miss.
We have to teach and preach her to be a good friend. She cannot continue telling girls that she does not want to play with them. If she does not follow this rule, she can't expect other girls to play with her!
I remember that I used to make bed time prayers with the eldest about trying to be a good friend every day! In the end it did pay off!
I hope it works again!
(Because no two girls are the same!)
This past weekend made me realize that you don't need much to go camping with the little ones.
Hubby managed to fit all our camping gear into our car. (He's the Master Camper, for sure!) We had to make do with the small tent, but it was more than enough for Little Miss. She was extremely happy to share our two camping mattresses. (We have the sore backs, but luckily it was only for two nights!)
We went camping with her Voortrekker team of little girls with their parents. It was the best of times for them.
What little girls want while camping:
- Friends to play with.
- A bicycle.
- A fishing rod.
- A swimming pool.
- Sharing food and drinks.
Note to self: food is not high priority on their lists! They are happy with a sip cool drink here and there and a bite of negotiated anything before running of again!
- AN OPTIONAL BONUS: a water slide!
A Bush-veld storm could not even dampen the spirits. The little girls just went on swimming in the undercover warm swimming pool.
AND: Mom got her sunsets and a sunrise!
Photos taken at Bosveld Oase near Brits.
I am also sure that little boys want the same as well, because the little brothers camping with us, had just as much fun!
