Girl politics and how to teach them not be bullies!

Girl politics are a nightmare!

This is a second time I am going through the highs and lows of friendships with a little girl.
There are more politics in these friendships than the politics of South Africa! (What it sometimes feels like!) To Little Miss of course, but also to us while we have to listen to all the sad stories each day! I'm sure it is more complex and exhausting than the stuff we hear on the news every day.

I hear about the best friend who do not want to play with her! And then sometimes only at certain times. Then Little Miss is all alone during recess at school, and she doesn't have any friends. Then another girl wants to play with Little Miss, but Little Miss does not want to play with her...

The politics are all about including and excluding!
They are all reverting to this bully behaviour! Little Miss included!

We do not see a lonely girl when we fetch her at school. She is always busy playing with someone! The Teacher has also thrown an eye, and she also doesn't see the "outcast" as she complains she is!

We had a Parent evening last week, and I discussed the friends' issue with the Teacher. Little Miss was there. The Teacher suggested that she plays with a little girl in the class who also complains about being alone. The response was: "But I don't like her! I don't want to play with her!"
(Me: *Throws hands in air with eyes rolling!*)

That made me realise that we have work to do with Little Miss.
We have to teach and preach her to be a good friend. She cannot continue telling girls that she does not want to play with them. If she does not follow this rule, she can't expect other girls to play with her!

I remember that I used to make bed time prayers with the eldest about trying to be a good friend every day! In the end it did pay off!

I hope it works again!
(Because no two girls are the same!)

How are you handling the girl politics?


Related post:

- Girl friends

Wordless Wednesday #258 - Girl in the mirror

"You spoil me too much!"

Little Hoot: You spoil me too much!

Two months before she turns 6!

It has been a strange year! The year of Grade R that she could not wait for, and that turned into a bit of a bummer... Luckily the meeting with the teacher helped considerably!

It seems that Little Missy is becoming into her own right now. I suspect this will be the pattern for each year. (Maybe not!) Because she is younger, it is only at the end of the year that everything falls into place?

I have also been toying with the idea that she is also her own person, doing her own things at her own opportune time!
Because we try to measure them and place them in boxes (talking about school readiness tests), it should not define them. And I am not going to!

We have spoken with her about going to Grade One next year, and told her about doing Grade R again. She is in agreement (as far as a five year old is able to) that she wants to continue to Grade One.

She got the most brilliant report card last week! Enough said!
She is doing very well!

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They had their end of year ballet concert and certificate ceremony. It was as cute as always. She still wants to continue next year, and I think it is good for them to get the basics of dancing. We will see how far it goes! (I don't have a preference!)

Ballet is tiring

Ballerina

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The only thing that Little Missy is worried about now is her birthday party.
All the "planning" and the "talking" finally had to come to fruition! We could not forever promise an airy fairy party because she has her birthday in December and all her friends are on leave. We have made a booking end of November and invited a few friends.
Huge excitement in her life!

Now it is only the party packs for school that needs to be sorted! (Yes, we still need to do that as well?!)
You do not get anything past a nearly six year old girl!

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I gave Little Missy a Happy Meal toy yesterday, because I had ordered a McD Happy Meal just so she could get a toy.
The response: "We spoil her too much!"

Okay...

Experiments are the volcano! #science

Little Missy loves doing experiments. The Doen dit self Wetenskap (Do-it-yourself Science , Priddy Books) experiment book is used on a daily basis. We bought it for cheap at Reader's Warehouse.

The only way we can get away with not doing an experiment is by explaining that we do not have all the "ingredients".

I had to go and buy food colours for another experiment, so Dad did not have an excuse any more for this experiment. She has been eyeing the volcano for a long time.

Baking soda and vinegar...

The volcano!

Happy Scientist! It worked!

If you are ever stuck with nothing to do for bored children. There are hundreds of Pinterest pins for Science experiments. You don't even need to buy a book.


Related post:

- How to blow up a balloon without blowing into it #science

How to celebrate the start of Spring?

The best time of the year has arrived!

It's Spring!

I love how Spring has the ability to rejuvenate.

It is definitely my favourite time of the year!
I want to start doing things again.
I want to clean out!
I want to start again: With healthy lifestyle choices, and professional development opportunities, and friendships and relationships.

This is the time!!

The Voortrekkers had a Spring Fashion Parade yesterday to start of the new season.
It was so much fun!

Spring Flower Girl being created

Spring Flower Girl

Spring Flower Girl (Angel?)

"Suikerbekkies" team
Little Missy on the right who forgot her shoes at school 

The time of the year when shoes are not such an issue any more...
(Big "sigh of relief!")

Two wheels' milestone and a report card

Little Missy was adamant the previous weekend that her dad must take off the extra two wheels on her bicycle. She is ready for the two wheels!

Her dad had to hold onto her for the first two days, but on day two she had mastered going forward on her own.

First time without the extra wheels!

Making new friends on her bike

Blurry, but there she goes!

Little Missy is five and a half now, and although I don't do the monthly updates any more (who's putting on the brakes now?), we are loving her energy at the moment.
(And getting tired by just watching her.)

She is forever doing cart wheels and hand stands and head stands. And getting better and better at it! She can spin a hula hoop for a very long time!

Little Missy got a very good report card from the school. The teacher is happy with her, and says that she is working hard when she is supposed to be working hard, and enjoy playing with all the children in her class. She can't think of any reason why she should not be able to continue to Grade One next year!

We are extremely relieved after we found Grade R to be a bit of a bummer in the beginning of this year! Little Missy loves her teacher and her class, and misses them when it's not school. With the midweek break she was counting the days to going back to school again.

We even had two mornings in the past month  where Little Missy announced at 6 am that she wanted to do a speech that day and I had to notify the teacher. It is something they are encouraged to do, but not enforced. She grabbed paper and pencils and was off in the car while vigorously sketching on a tray. (Hope it is not a peak into her future studying methods?) Apparently the teacher says it went very well! We can't get her to do the speeches for us as well...

And of course, her teacher knows best and e-v-e-r-y thing, and her commands are obeyed to the letter. If I smuggle in a little sweet in her lunch box (bad mother!), it gets voluntarily dumped in the dustbin! "No sweets in my lunch box, Mom!"

This is a very interesting age!

Wordless Wednesday #232 - A Dad with his little girl

Wordless Wednesday #231 - Head stand

Movie Clip Monday #31 - Twirling hair

I get instructed to take a video or a photo when Little Missy wants to see something from the back.
I have to take what I can get, because I do not get that many poses for the camera any more...

She wanted to see how her hair behaves when she twirls!

Little girls can be so mean

She has a best best friend, a BFF, a favourite buddy she loves so much!

But this little girl has been mean to her since they became friends when she was only three. They were in the same class for two years, before we sighed a sigh of relief in the beginning of this year when they were finally split into separate classes. But they still see each other on the playground, and at after care...

Sometimes they play for days and everything is fine! Until the other girl decides that she's had enough, and she shuns our little girl. She tell her that she ugly and "eew" and do not want to play with her any more.
It seems that she has the upper hand in the friendship and that she calls the shots.

It breaks my heart! I have been feeling sad for her since yesterday afternoon when she told me that she was walking all on her own on the playground and the friend and nobody else wanted to play with her...

My daughter tells me that she knows she is a bully, but she still wants to play with her!

She makes plans the whole time of how to get the friend back:
She will invite her to her party, and she will be able to sleep over at our place.
She will give her the best cake at the party.
She will arrange a play date.
She will give her some of her lunch box.
(And I know she does that, because I had to ask the teacher to make sure that the other girl does not take all her food!)

A friend send me this pin today, without knowing about the most recent unhappiness! The four steps sounds like a very good idea that I am going to try!

Little Girls can be mean (Pinterest)

THE FOUR STEPS

Observe. Watch your child as a social being in a new way and how she responds to conflict
Connect with your child. “I notice that when your friend Katie leaves, you start fighting with your brother a lot. Are you sad that she’s leaving?” Help your daughter begin to notice things. You want to give empathy but NO problem solving. You’re setting yourself up as her partner. You’re becoming a team.
Guide. When you really are connected, together brainstorm and list all the things you can do to deal with the bully. All your ideas are valuable – even sending the bully to the moon. Write up a whole list of possibilities. What this does makes it seem like there are many solutions. That it’s not an insolvable problem.
Support the Act. Help your daughter choose one of two things herself that she’s going to do. Then role play what she’ll do. P.S. SHE chooses – NOT YOU says Anthony because your daughter is building inner strength inside herself. If the idea doesn’t work, go back to the list and choose another.

                                                                                - Imagination Soup 


Related posts:

- 42 months multiplied with cute

- The first feedback in Grade RR

Brave girl's tooth fixed

Dad's hand on foot

It was an anxious week before the time. We were counting the days, but not because of excitement, but because of trepidation...

Little Missy was extremely scared of having her tooth fixed. We got a small calming pill to give her an hour before the time. And told her that she would be sleepy and not feel a thing. (Thumbs crossed)
She told us time and time again that she was scared, and that she did not want to go. It took a lot of convincing. I don't like them having to get anaesthesia for only one tooth!

I was so glad we did! Dentist Chantelle fixed her tooth without an injection. Little Missy was a lot calmer when the pill kicked in, but kept on telling us that she is not sleeping!

The dentist recommended ice-cream as reward. (Strange, but true!)

And she got a new Bratz doll that we promised.

I am very proud of Little Missy for being brave and not freaking out, although she felt like it!

It is a huge milestone since her first visit to the dentist where the dentist could only do a quick peek in her mouth until the fourth time where she finally had a proper check-up!

So glad we took the time to watch the netball

Little Missy took part in her first tournament of netball at school yesterday.

We decided at the last minute to take the afternoon off to go and watch. I get only one afternoon a month, so I have to really plan around it! (The joys of being a working mother!)

She was extremely excited when she saw us coming to watch her.

They did not keep scores for the under six players, and it seems that the rules of the game are still not very clear to all of them.
But they had fun! Until some did not want to play any more, or they got hungry (our Little Missy!).

How you look after your goal post!

Pose

Team White walking in a line

Team White with their coaches for the day

I decided afterwards that I have to put in more effort to watch her sports! I will miss out on many highlights if I don't!

How do you plan around watching the sports when you are a working mother?

Back from a week in the bush

We just came back from a week in the bush, feeling refreshed and chilled out!

We had very little signal in the bush, and we came back to no Telkom ADSL. It is very frustrating, but it also helped to switch off.

It was great to breathe in a bit of fresh air, and watched the sunsets!

Little Missy loved the game drives! We were a bit concerned, but I remembered how the eldest loved it. The little ones are mesmerized about all the animals, and even little things like chameleons.

We had a great encounter with the elephants on
a morning drive

The absolute highlight of our week:
A walk with rhinos - we got pretty near to them

Breathed in all the sunsets!
(Something we miss here in the city)

Lots of dives into the pool

It was a great vacation!


Why did it feel so short?

Finals and end of the year

I am sure everybody is busy with endings and final sport days and end-of-the-year events!

It is hectic! And we have just one little one that's keeping us busy...

Little Missy had her Sport(s) Day at school on Saturday. I liked the fact that all took part, and they all got a chocolate (most important!) medal after completing 10 items.

Little Missy enjoyed the hurdles the most. She lined up for a race with the boys as well.

She also had her end of year gymnastics! It seems we will continue with it next year! She has been enjoying it. Not like the previous year where we had seen a number of melt-downs of a reluctant gymnast...

I love the end of the year! It is great to be able to look back at the year, and thinking that you have made/accomplished it!

I am also very proud of The Student who finished her second year at Varsity.
She is waiting for a final mark, but it seems she passed all her subjects!
Now the students have nearly three months of holidays!

Enjoy!

Horrorwood at Brightwater Commons - we were missing that smile!

We went to the yearly Halloween event at the Brightwater Commons. Everybody was dressed, and there was lots of fun activities.

Little Missy could not wait for it, and was asking each time we drove past there in the year.
It finally happened, BUT she was in a bad mood. All the waiting and the excitement and choosing her outfit from her cupboard and talking about it...

 (It is difficult to be nearly 5! "sigh")

We could not get her to smile! She kept telling us that she is shy!
 

At the House of Horrors (we did not go in there)

Trick or Treats at all of the shops

There were crowds

Where's the smile?

I think we will skip it for next year, or maybe when she turns five in a month the tantrums will dissipate for good? (Please!)

We made a booking before the time at one of our favourite restaurants, Babylon Again, and that went down very well. We watched the people walking by in their costumes, while we had a lovely evening dinner!

Related post:

First Halloween  

How do you know you have a little girl in the house?

Sometimes they are tomboys, and sometimes they are all girly girl and sweet and pink and princesses and fairies! 

I don't prefer the one over the other, and I think that all girls should be allowed to be their own self!

We did not press the girl stuff on our Little Missy, but she chooses the dolls and the make-up and the dresses above the cars and the swords and the dinosaurs.

I was thinking how much it has made an impact on us. The fact that we have a little GIRL in our house...

How do you know you have a little girl in your house?

- She always has a bit of make-up on her face, not always on the correct place, but it is there!

- I never have a lipstick that works in my handbag. It is only the broken ones that's was swapped for better ones.

- The older sister and I always have to sit down for a make-over and a hairdo.

- The older sister and I have instructed each other and the male in the house to tell us when we leave the house. To make sure that we do not have said make-up and hairdos when going out of the house.

- I have chipped yellow and blue nail polish on my nails. Today!

- I have blue and yellow nail polish on my jacket in the wash. (Maybe I should just transfer it to the dustbin?)

- I have to constantly buy hair accessories because it also disappears like socks. She likes to have free-flowing hair, and we are always trying to get it out of her face... (A losing battle!)

- She wears heels (although not very high) for a whole day! Without complaining! (Thankfully not every day!)

- She has only one standard answer when asked about what she wants to wear: A dress!

Interesting times! 

Now if I can only secure one lipstick for my handbag! That would be great!

We have bought her a few cheep lipsticks and an eye-shadow! I hope (cross-my fingers) that her own make-up will do the trick!