An ode to great Dads

Father's Day and fathers!

I have a great Dad! He still shows us the what a true Dad should be and we know that he loves us dearly!
Thanks, Dad, for always being there!

That's why I knew in a previous life that the dad that was being shown to us was not the correct one! I was flabbergasted, because I had such a different upbringing. But I knew it was not right! Contrary to that life, there was no issues and dramas in our house growing up. We had a Dad that worked and was there when we had anything going on at school or needed help or a taxi! He was there! (Not so with the cancelled one!)

Thanks to my Dad who was my original measure of what a Dad should be! That's why I am so thankful to Hubby who is also a great Dad to our two daughters! He is present and involved and doing his bit in the daily rat race! Thank you so much, dear Hubby!

Print-out from Parent24

Some fun facts about Dad, from Little Miss. (For posterity purposes!)

- My dad laughs when he reads something funny.
- My dad's favourite food is meat.
- Something my dad always says is I am a princess.
- My dad is good at making food.
- I love my dad because he loves me back.


We had a lovely day yesterday with the dads and sharing lunch together!
What did you do for Father's Day?

Being a second Bestie!

I have been talking to Little Miss about us loving her unconditionally! That there is nothing that she could do that would make us stop loving her!

She has been enjoying it quite a bit, because each time she comes up with other scenarios. And we've even covered "murder". I told her that I would be very disappointed, and that I would probably scold her, but that I would never stop loving her! And that I would come to visit her in prison...

These discussions were sparked by blog posts I read from The Leaky Boob clan whose eldest daughters were sexually abused. The perpetrator told them that they were bad and that their mom and dad would not love them any more if they knew the truth! 

I would want Little Miss to always come to us with her problems!

Little Miss also told me that she loves us no matter what. Even if somebody told her not to loves us any more. But Dad is her first Bestie and I am her second Bestie! (Even though he is the strict parent, she says!)

Thanks for that, Little Miss! 

Wordless Wednesday #232 - A Dad with his little girl

Father's Day

Father's Day cards..

And Father's Day presents...

And something for the cupboard

Thank you, Dad, for being here for your daughters, and for being such a great dad!

We love you!

A dad's heart got broken this morning

Dad is the one who drops Little Missy off at school in the mornings.

He is used to carrying her to the class, and sometimes even having to put her in the arms of a teacher. She can be very clingy, especially when she is still sleepy...

This morning she announced just before the school building that her dad must put her down and leave her there.
When her dad protested and told her that the class will still be locked, she told him not to worry and that she will wait in front of the class.
She walked away with her bag on her back, and not looking back once...

Hubby phoned me and told me that his heart was broken!
It happened so unexpectedly!

Wordless Wednesday #224 - Dad's back

Lego happens on a Sunday

We were walking around in the mall on a lazy Sunday afternoon. We found the Lego shop, and Little Missy started to build immediately...

Lego spaceship?

The options are endless

It was very difficult to leave the shop. And not only for Little Missy...
Dad was "forced" to buy a small box.

And the rest of Sunday was spent building with the Lego.
It is always a good way to spend with Dad!

Ode to My Valentine!

‎

A Valentine

that brings me flowers

and Ferrero Rocher's 

AND a Pandora charm

Who stays at home with a sick Little Missy

Who dresses her in her chosen Valentine's dress

(not an easy task)

and combs her hair

with her chosen hairstyle for the day

An ode goes out to you

who has brought us so much joy!

Who shows our daughters how a man should treat all girls and ladies

(You are making it a tough act to follow!‎)

We have ‎your masculine DIY skills on call

while enjoying your Masterchef (as Missy likes to say)‎ dishes

(It is true!)

Thank you

For YOU!

You are worthy a much longer ode with more 

Oomph than mine...

You are my lucky Valentine!

(Photo by The MM)

Working parents juggle it!

I got a Whatsapp message from the teacher today. Little Missy was complaining about her cheek, and the teacher thought it was a tooth!

I was in a conference and asked Hubby (also by IM) to phone the dentist to hear if they had an opening for the rest of the week for me to be able to take her.

He followed up, but they were fully booked.

In the meantime I was texting the teacher to ask her to give the little one a bit of Panado.

Then the dentist phone Hubhy again to inform him that they had an opening immediately. 

I must mention the following: Hubby started with a new job today! But off he went to fetch the Little Missy and to take her to the dentist.

I was texting him and the teacher, while trying to follow the conference proceedings...

She has a teeth that needs to be fixed, but not a big issue! In the meantime we will have to get her to sit still! (Not sure when that will happen?)

Hubby had an appointment with his new boss as well. He rocked up with Little Missy in tow, and apparently it wasn't a problem. (We hope!)

She got a little bit difficult in the end, I was told.

And her water bottle leaked all over Hubby's tablet and work papers. 

All in a day's work!

Thanks to my wonderful husband who did not hesitate to fetch the Little Missy, and who took her to his workplace on the first day of his new job!

That's how working parents juggle it!

Poll - How many dads read the newsletters from school?

Do you find that mothers are the only ones making sure that the newsletters are read?
Are mothers the ones that are checking in with the school's calender?
Are mother's the ones that make sure they keep tab on what is happening on a day-to-day in the child's life and classroom?

Has this changed at all?
I would love to hear how it is done now! I will give feedback here. I will keep it open for a week, until Friday the 14th of June.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.


Results here:

Who reads those school newsletters?

10 ways to get your husband to do what you want around the house

I had to smile at this title, and it made me read the list.

I am one of the lucky women whose husband does his fair share.
So far so, that he sometimes complains he is working his ass off in this house...

I don't have to ask my husband to help me. He just does! (Thank you!)

I wonder if these tips would really help in getting the man helping with all the mundane chores?
It seems to be a bit patronising?


But here it is for a good giggle on this Friday afternoon. The article was suggested from Housekeeping, and it can be read here:

10 ways to get your husband to do what you want around the house


1. Incentive 

2. Tit for Tat 

3. Logic 

4. Hysterical Tears 

5. Bribery 

6. Guilt Trip 

7. Work Together 

8. Ask the Right Way 

9. Make a List 

10. Go on Strike 

Questions about Dad

A present from school:

1. What is Dad's name? Dries du Toit

2. How old is Dad? Shows 3 fingers

3. What is Dad's favourite food? Soup

4. What does Dad like to drink? Juice and water

5. How much money does Dad has? One

6. What type of work does Dad do? At Clearwater (nearby mall)

7. What does Dad do if he comes from work? He makes tea for me

8. What does Dad watch on television? Rugby

9. What type of car drives Dad? Grey car

10. What do you do with Dad which is very special? We go to Clearwater

 

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

My daily rejection

The best time of my day during the week is when I go to fetch the Toddler at school.

I cannot wait to see the little face. To see how it lights up and she comes running up to me...
I look forward to it the whole day long!

But it seems that she does not share my sentiments!

As soon as I pick her up I have to hear that her Dad is supposed to come and fetch her!
Every day! For the last three weeks already!

He usually drops her off, and I go to pick her up.

I do not mind when I am being told that her Dad should come to lay with her in the evenings! That usually gives me a bit of me-time. It also does not happen every night. And sometimes she prefers her Mother at night...

How do we deal with these daily rejections?
(I hope she reads this one day, especially when she has her own children...
"I forgive you!")

My eldest also wanted to go and stay with the un-father when she was 12. That was one of the worst times in my life! At 13 her eyes finally opened up to the situation!
It was a very bad rejection to live with for a few months!

Parenting involves a lot of rejection!

"I love you, even though you do not want me around all the time!"
I know it's part of growing up and becoming a big girl!

Wordless Wednesday #104 - Play with dad

Wordless Wednesday #103 - Pappa-razzi

About fathers and unfathers

A father died very unexpectedly last Saturday.


He left behind three children from a previous marriage that now has to go on in life without his presence…

(Stuff like this really happens!)

No matter what the circumstances at the time, it will leave a mark…

It made me think about another father who has written himself out of his daughter’s life. Would she feel guilty when her father dies unexpectedly?

The questions that needs to be asked:

• Would it made a positive impact in her life when she reconnects with him again?
• Would she be less scared of him this time around?
• Would she be able to not tippy-toe around him when she is with him?
• Would she be able to do her own teenage and student things when she is with him, or will he still demand 24/7 attention?
• Did he change his behaviour?
• Did he go for anger management counseling?\
• Does he work?
• Does he contribute financially towards his new family?
• Does he contribute financially to help her with her studies?
• Did the emotional manipulation come to an end?
• Would the daily conversation be about a future of possibilities – for her and more in general?
• Would I feel that she is going into a safe environment?

I cannot answer “yes” on any of these questions!

(The unfather does not understand that it is in the power of his hands to change! No, it is always somebody else who is to blame!)

The question: Would she feel guilty when her father dies unexpectedly?

No, and No again!

(Picture: Microsoft clip art)

Reconstructed families are not for sissies

Merging new families are a totally different ball-game than only merging two lives. It is not only the two lives, but the lives of children that are being merged into the package deal.

WITH the extra baggage of ex-partners and ex-periences!

Luckily I married a very responsible adult who made it easy for us to work through the pitfalls of a second marriage. I agree that it also was much easier for me having the child, and that he had to make much more of an adjustment...

My husband showed me how it should be done! I am very grateful to him and that he showed my daughter how a husband and father should behave in a marriage.

There are a few things that help when before plunging into an undertaking of this nature:

-    Make sure you agree on how you are going to handle the children.
-    Lots and lots of talk on discipline before the time.
-    It is much easier to leave the discipline to the biological parent.
-    My husband taught me that the non-biological parent needs to get involved 100% as a parent.
-    The original reluctance of the children dissipates when they feel that the other person cares for them, and takes on the role of another parent in the household.
-    Both partners need to be adults.
-    Always show a united front to the children. (Handle your differences away from the children.)
-    Handle all children equally. E.g. when you give money to your own children, also give the same amount to the other children.
-    Love them all!
-    Try not to bad-mouth the ex-partners in front of the children.
-    Try to make sure that the children get a space of their own and feel part (welcome) in the home.
-    Involve all the children in the decision-making when it concerns the whole family.
-    Attend all the functions and award evenings of ALL the children.
-    Love them, even though they are not your own. Love is a verb, and not an emotion! It is a decision!
-    Spend special time with each of them on a regular basis.
-    Enjoy them!


Do you have more tips for a reconstructed family?

Dear Toddler: SLEEP!

Hair bow and coffee

We do not hold this against you:

When you sometimes makes us do the musical chairs on our bed and yours, we do not hold it against you!
When we keep to a strict bedtime routine, but you still do not want to settle...
When we have to drive around at night to get you to sleep...
Even though you are happy to go to sleep with Mom, and later changes your mind, and want Dad to come and sleep with you...
When you do not want to go to sleep...
When we have to switch off all the lights, and you are forced to come to bed...
When you sleep in the middle between us, and we hold onto the edge of the bed, fighting for a bit of blanket...
When you have a bad dream, and do not stop crying in the night...
When you still want to sleep in in the mornings and we have to dress you upside down...
When Dad thinks we are never going to sleep again, although we only had a little bit of upheaval before twelve at night...

When we see that cute little face early in the mornings, we do not hold the sleep issues against you!
All is instantly forgiven!

Luckily we are a team working around the clock. When I give up in despair, your dad steps in! And when he gives up, I am ready to take on the next round!

(This too will pass! This too will pass!)

Related posts:
Mornings first photo at day care #20 - Monday morning sleepy
The toddler is down at 8

The princess has found her dad!

The fairy tale ending in the Toddler’s life revolve around the princess finding her Dad!

Whenever we read or see a story about a girl / princess meeting and marrying her prince, the Toddler exclaims:  “Sy het haar pappa gekry!” (She has found her dad!) No doubt as to who is the most important in her life at this stage!

My dad has been in hospital, and we visited him twice this weekend. He has a very bad upper respiratory infection, but it seems he is on the mend again...

The Toddler has been very interested in this whole hospital story, and she has been babbling non-stop about the “doctors fixing him”...

After her first visit she exclaimed: “Hy soek sy Ouma!” (He wants his grandmother!) (My mom was not with him when we went to visit the first time.)

The Toddler sees the world as fixed when the family unit are together...



Hope you all get your “Dads” this week! (Wink smile!)

Wordless Wednesday #87 - Playing ball with Dad