Parenting is humbling

I have to laugh at myself and my thoughts around parenthood. The Universe has a quirky way of coming back to slap you with your own smugness.

I am the older mom with a daughter that has successfully gone through the stages of growing up and has successfully completed her studies. She is working and doing her thing! I have got the "evidence" that I rock this parenting gig! I was smug!

Ha-ha!

Unfortunately kids do not have the same manual. They are not the same!
What was I thinking?

Suffice to say that I have my thoughts around parenthood handed back to me on a silver platter! I can't do it the same as the previous time!

I am also older (and wiser) and have learnt much from parenting experts and parents around the world. That what I thought was good parenting techniques previously, is also frowned upon today!

So, although I am the older mom, I am doing it again! I am writing a new manual. And it is only for the youngest! (It is child-specific!)

And I won't judge people who struggle with parenting, and I won't judge the judgy eyes when we have the full-blown melt-down! Because I know, karma comes around!


Have you changed your parenting style over the years, since you had your first child?

Pamper yourself this Mother's Day!

#NuSkin4Moms spoils

Mother's Day is upcoming, and it is lovely to look at all the Mother's Day wish-lists doing the rounds. I can come up with a few gadgets of my own!

But this Mother's Day the budget is tight! There was Valentine's Day in February where we got to spent the weekend at Dikholo, my birthday in March and our 13th anniversary. There was too much celebrations and gifts in too short a space!

I am not complaining at all! About not getting presents. Hubby and the kids have been told that a card would suffice! I have all the presents I need! I am the luckiest mother there is. I have two beautiful daughters, with both still staying under our roof! I thank my lucky stars that we are a family that's intact, and that we can share our lives together! And brace ourselves together when the going gets tough!

I was sent a Nu Skin Pamper Kit - I love my Mom Gift Box - as part of the Nu Skin Mother's Day campaign. It is a divine luxurious spoil!

The pamper kit contains:

• ReNu Hair Mask: a deep conditioning treatment that keeps hair hydrated and prevents split ends.
• Body Smoother: A quick-absorbing smoother that seals moisture with skin nourishing properties.
• Hand Lotion: A moisture-rich hand lotion to keep hands supple during the upcoming winter days.
• Epoch Fire Walker: Put your feet up and keep them rejuvenated with this soothing foot cream.

I have used all of this products already, and I will keep on using it until the last drop.
It makes me feel special, good to do something NICE for myself, and to take a bit of me-time each day! The hand cream makes my hands looks less as if they have been in water for ages. I have already had to inform Little Miss that I am a mermaid during the day. (She does not believe me, but she asks me regularly why my hands looks so wrinkly!)

The pamper kit reminds me that we as moms should take more spoil-time for ourselves, even if we don't have the luxury of a great product such as Nu Skin. We can spoil ourselves with what we have in the cupboard.

Nu Skin Epoch Fire Walker on my feet

How cool are these Instagram photos that was sent with the blog drop?

Well done, and thanks, Nu Skin and Mbali from Engage Joe Public!

The daughters that are my biggest gifts!

How do you spoil yourself?
Do you make time to spoil yourself!
What are you planning for Mother's Day?

If the budget is not that tight, this a divine pamper kit for any Mother on Mother's Day!

5 Things you would not have experienced without being a parent

Being a parent is one of the most difficult things in life!

Who knew that the older you get, the less you think you know anything about this parenting journey? I even have a claim on a child we successfully managed to raise, but that doesn't guarantee anything! (You would think that I would have the know-how! Not so!)

Raising the Little M has made me realize that each of them comes with a different manual. Some of the manuals are definitely more easier to understand!

As a mom I am always thinking about what I could have done better, or different.

I wanted to compile a random list of some of the parenting woes that comes with being a parent. Who think of this when they start with their parenting journey?


5 Things you did not think about before becoming a parent

- You have to attend school meetings, revues, concerts, parenting evenings as well as hang around the school endlessly waiting for activities to end. Who knew you would go back to school?


- You not only have to get yourself out of the door in the mornings, but the little ones as well. Each successful drop-off at school with children fully clothed, with a packed school bag and a lunch box should get a medal. (How do parents with multiple children manage?) It is an accomplishment, and we should praise ourselves more for just doing this!

- You worry constantly about your child when they have no friends, and also when they have friends. What can you do to help them in getting friends? What can you do when the girl politics are making her miserable?

- You are always searching for misplaced stuff that's not yours! In the house. Going back to places. At school. Maybe life is preparing us for our own later years?

- How many times have you longed for that lunch box that got sent to school that comes back intact? Those times that you have emptied your purse at the last minute and you did not make your own lunch? Too many times!


Do you have any other points I can add to this list?

Would I change any of this?
No! But it helps to get it out of the system!

KEEP CALM

A day in the life of Janice Windt, MD behind Working Mothers Expo

The Working Mothers Expo is around the corner. Janice Windt, the Founder and Managing Director behind the Expo, answered a few personal questions. I wanted to know more about her work-life, as well as how a normal day in her household looks like.

Janice Windt:

My normal day starts at about 4am, when I wake up to answer emails before hundreds more emails and calls start coming in again at 8am ;)  My husband takes the boys to school so that I can start my proper work day at 07h30 and work until 1pm when I fetch the boys from school.  Afternoons are all about them, which is such a privilege.  I try keep evenings for my husband and I and the result is that I sleep a lot less than I used to!  Even our accountants are worried about the hours I keep!  So yes, this is my only job.

I worked at an Investment Bank for ten years and left corporate in February 2015 to start the Working Mothers Expo.  It’s taken 18 months to get to this point and we are VERY excited to see what the response to our first event will be.   Our goal is to make the lives of working mothers easier by bringing together everything working mothers need under one roof.  Working mothers need to realise that they are not alone, get access to the help and inspiration they need and have a moment that is, quite simply, all about them. 

The idea for the Working Mothers Expo evolved out of the challenges I personally experienced as a working mom and also from the experiences I was privileged enough to learn about when I interviewed more than one hundred women from seventeen countries around the world for my blog. As I started speaking to other working mothers I’ve realised that many of us struggle with similar things. It’s a real privilege to be able to reach thousands of working mothers through the avenue of the Working Mothers Expo.  I’m very grateful.

The Working Mothers Expo, in partnership with MiWayLife, brings together everything working mothers need under one roof.
It will be on from 4-6 November 2016 at the Sandton Convention Centre. With world class products, services and speakers and great entertainment for your kids, this is an event not to be missed.
Tickets available at Computicket. 

How to make every moment count as a working mother - 5 tips

Being a working mother and juggling the rat race of city life are difficult, and I don't think we can have it all!
I am giving myself some grace as I am getting older and "wiser" (sic! Laughing at myself here!)
I try my best to make the moments count, and I do not beat myself up when I "fail"! I try harder the next time!

But there are definitely some ideas to consider to make moments count! Janice Windt, the managing director of The Working Mothers Expo, suggests 5 ways to make every moment count as a working mother.

1) Prioritise.  
What is most important to you? Do more of that and less of everything else...

2) Clear your diary. 
Just say no. Be on time for the kids. (It definitely goes with priorities and making your children the number 1 priority!)

3) Pause to breathe. 
Do the things that makes you happy, like reading, long baths or time-outs! Whatever!

4) Sing. 
The advice is to sing, even though you are not very good at it! My Little Miss does not appreciate my singing at all, and usually asks me to stop. But maybe it will work for you? ;-)

5) Sign up for the Working Mothers Expo VIP Waiting List and book your diaries for the  Working Mothers Expo, brought to you in partnership with MiWay Life, bringing together everything a working mother needs under one roof at the Sandton Convention Centre.


How do you make the moments count as a working mother?





Read more on this article: 5 Ways to make every moment count as a working mother

The Working Mothers Expo, brought to you in partnership with MiWay Life, brings together everything a working mother needs under one roof on 4-6 November at the Sandton Convention Centre.  Take a step back from your hectic schedule, make some time to reflect, hear an inspiring speaker, indulge in some retail therapy and connect with other working mothers. We would like to create some dedicated time in your schedule that is all about you.

How do you know you have a great mother?

How do you know you have a great mom?

When you become a Mom yourself and realize all she had done!

Without complaints!

Every day!

Thanks, Mom!!

I am so sorry I did not buy you the Bratz doll when you were small

To my dear Eldest!

I am so sorry that I did not buy the Bratz doll when you were young!
(You wanted it, because your friends had one!) I don't know what I was thinking, but it's not the same I am thinking right now!

I already bought a Bratz Cloe for Little Miss, and the other day I got a Bratz Jade delivered!  (I was way more excited than Little Miss!)
They are super cute! Why did I think 15 years back they were not pretty?

It's just one of the many parenting mistakes I now know that I have made with the eldest!
There are so many!

I am sorry for everything that I did wrong with you! 

I did it with the best of intentions. (And with the knowledge I had at the time.)

The Littlest is getting to grow up with a lot less of "parenting" I did with you.
(But as we go along we are definitely saying we are doing it wrong now as well.)

Unfortunately we can't do it over!


I heard the surprise in your voice when you reminded me that I did not want to buy you the doll...
I can only say sorry!

One more mouth to feed: a silk worm

Little Miss came home with two silk worms two weeks back. (Aaarghhh!)

As I don't like living things to suffer, we have been picking mulberry leaves in the street.

And guess who make sure that the worm (One died on my watch! I don't know why?) gets fed morning and night! Me! Not Little Miss!

Now I'm in constant lookout for mulberry leaves... I got some of the leaves near the school, but the owners had the branches cut off! I wish I could buy the leaves somewhere?

Another worm mouth to feed!

How long before it changes to a cocoon?

Featured blog of the month: Juggling Act of Life

We are back with the Featured Blog of the Month.
Carla from Mommy & Baby Wellness Blog did the pairing for the month of July!

I got Cat whom I have been following since I started this blog. I had the pleasure in meeting her in person at a blog function this year, and it felt like we knew each other like old friends!

Cat at Juggling Act of Life is mom of a primary school girl AND fraternal twin school boys AND Labradors. She calls herself the wife of a wonderful man, daughter and architect. She is juggling the craziness of life in Pretoria. On the blog she captures their daily lives with photography and Project Life.

She always takes the most beautiful photos, and has the most creative ideas with regards arts, crafts and school projects!


I will be following up with a couple of questions on the blog.

Most mothers are an inspiration, but some even more so

"Dr" Erika!

I am always inspired by mothers and how they are juggling their lives with kids and work and everything else. It's not easy, and sometimes s*t hits the fan, and we don't always see the light at the end of the tunnel.

15 years back I was going through an awful divorce, being a single mom to a Grade 1 girl and trying to keep everything together during the legal proceedings. At that stage I felt overwhelmed and did not know how we would get unscathed through it all.

But here we are! Happy, fat and going on with our lives with new beginnings and new challenges! And that life seems like just a nightmare that happened to somebody else in a different timeline...

That's why I am sharing the story of Erika who is also a mom who had to go through a difficult custody battle for her children. She exhausted all her funds in the custody battle, and now she is not able to afford the final stretch for her doctoral degree. She has reached out to me on the MomAgain@40 Facebook page.

Erika, hats off to you! I love the fact that you call yourself "Dr Erika" already!

My name is Erika, and I am a mother of two amazing girls, a teacher, a coach, and a doctoral candidate. It is a lot to be at one time, but I love it all.  

In the middle of my degree, I got a divorce. I had to use all of my savings to ensure full custody of my two little girls when their father decided to move out of state. I am thrilled to have my girls with me every day, but lawyers are expensive. The money I planned on using to finish my degree went to the custody hearings.  

 The financial realities of a divorce are harsh. I don’t have the space for one more student loan. I wish it were that easy. Instead, I am stuck right at the place where I can see the finish line. Can you help me get there? 

All I would ask is that you help me finish my last semester, so that I may be an example for my daughters, students, and athletes, and complete the degree I have worked so hard for. This is me, showing these young ladies that nothing should stand in their way.

Click here to support her doctorate - Erika Rak Zeidler

Seventy is a really good number!

My mom celebrated her seventieth birthday with us at The Drakensberg Sun. She always loves to be on holiday when it is time for her birthday, and this time it was no different!
After the midweek break of last week she and my dad continued with their holiday on the South Coast.

We are grateful to have her in our lives, and that she is still there for the two granddaughters to enjoy!
She helps out with the daughters, and she is always available to babysit Little Missy.

You do not appreciate your own mother more than when you have your own children and realise exactly what she must have done for us! She had four of us, and she was working as well when I went to high school.

Happy birthday, Mom!

We had a great lunch on her special day with a view to die for.

Central Drakensberg

Lunch in the winter sun

At Drakensberg Sun
(I want to come back here - there is at least five hiking trails)

Little Missy in the distance running to the play ground

Finches for company

The beggars got some!

Thanks, Mom, for all you do! 

We are lucky to be able to spend time with you!

And we love the holidays with you and Dad!

“Is Being a Mother the Most Defining Role a Woman Can Have?” - answers at Mothering in the Middle

Cyma Shapiro of Mothering in the Middle asked: “Is Being a Mother the Most Defining Role a Woman Can Have?”

This was my answer:

“It depends on each person’s values they place on motherhood. I think it is ONE of the MANY defining roles a woman can have! For me, it is a role I am proud of, and which I am daily trying to improve on! The results and the great benefits are the relationships I have with my children, and the people they are and become.”

My two daughters
Photo taken at the recent wedding in the family

The rest of the answers can be found here:
Your Answers: “Is Being a Mother the Most Defining Role a Woman Can Have?”

What is your answer?

Give-away - Poetry of a Hobo Mama

Poetry of a Hobo Mama

Lauren Wayne of Hobo Mama wrote this beautiful poetry about the first three years of parenthood.

I love the raw and simple honesty of her parenting journey captured in the poetry. I could relate to most of her poems. Even the crunchy mama that she is, she is still struggling with most of the things we all struggle with. It made me aware that by sharing we are never alone in our parenting struggles and experiences and joys AND lows!

I gave my own review when I bought it a while back on my Kindle.

I took part in Lauren Wayne's Weekly Parenting Poetry Workshop last year, and she was so kind to send me one of her poetry volumes.

Since I have it already on my Kindle, I asked her if I could use it for a give-away.


Please comment below to be entered into the draw.

The draw will take place this  Friday 14 February at 5 pm South African time.

Open worldwide to all who comment!

Poll - How many dads read the newsletters from school?

Do you find that mothers are the only ones making sure that the newsletters are read?
Are mothers the ones that are checking in with the school's calender?
Are mother's the ones that make sure they keep tab on what is happening on a day-to-day in the child's life and classroom?

Has this changed at all?
I would love to hear how it is done now! I will give feedback here. I will keep it open for a week, until Friday the 14th of June.

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.


Results here:

Who reads those school newsletters?

Questions for Mother's Day

We received this cute questions and answers for Mother's Day from the pre-primary school. It is very sweet!
It also reminded me of how the smallest things (seemingly), can be the most important to Little Missy. I will spend more time bathing and eating cookies with her! ;-)

(Translated)

How old is Mom?

10

What is Mom's favourite food?

Mushrooms and pasta 

What does Mom like to drink?

Wine and tea

What work does Mom do?

Computer work

How much money does Mom have?

60

What does Mom do when she rests?

She sits and lies on the coach and watch tv.

What does Mom watch on television?

Ice Age 

What clothes does Mom like to wear?

Dresses

What do you and Mom do together which is very special?

We bath together and we eat cookies



Related posts:

On Mother's Day

Too many Mother's Days

Mother's Day

My wishes for my children

We as mothers have so many wishes for our children, but at this stage this is what my wishes are for my two daughters...

The prompt is again from the beautiful journal for my children by Dionna Ford of Code Name Mama.

My wishes for my children:

- I wish my children would be able to pursue their passions in life!

- I wish them healthy relationships with their friends and with a significant other.

- I wish them to enjoy their lives to the fullest, and to grab every opportunity coming their way.

- I wish that they would keep an insatiable thirst for knowledge and the "truth"

- I wish them to understand and to have compassion for another's point of view.

- I wish that they would expect the world to be good, and that the world would show up accordingly!

- I wish them to be happy and to have peace in their lives!

- I wish that they would recognise being treated badly in a relationship, and to know when to move on.

- I wish them lots of fun!

- I wish them lots of overseas travels!

- I wish that they would have much more material things than I ever had. (But that they would appreciate it, because they worked hard to get it.)

- I wish them smooth sailing! If the waves come crashing, that they would have inner strength and support structures to help them cope. (I also believe that we can't live a life well without having some sort of  obstacle to overcome.)

- I wish them love!

Related posts:

For my children - a keepsake

Crazy parenting advice

Top 5 Apps for Busy Moms

I am always checking out new apps and got this guest post suggestion which I am happy to publish. Especially if it states  that it helps "busy moms.
(Although, I think it is an oxymoron! Do we get moms who are not busy?)

I have linked to the iTunes stores, but see most of these apps are avaliable on all devices.


The Top 5 Apps for Busy Moms

Our lives are much busier than they were even 20 years ago, and moms are busier than ever.
Many moms raise kids, work, and run their households, all while trying to live their own lives. Fortunately, cell phones are helpful for anyone with a life on the go. They help people stay connected, and with apps, help people complete their day to day tasks.

Thousands of cell phone apps exist that help people accomplish their goals, and here are the top 5 apps for busy moms like yourself.

The Weather Channel

It is pertinent for a busy mother to be prepared for anything. Every single mom should have the Weather Channel app - this is the perfect app to open up first thing in the morning. It allows you to display the current temperature, as well as the short- and long-term weather forecast. The app also allows you to get the weather forecast from wherever you are. Any busy mom who runs around all day needs to know the weather forecast in order to plan their (hopefully dry) day.

Cozi

This is a wonderful app for anyone who has a lot on their plate, but especially mothers. It's so useful that you may even end up grabbing for this app more often than you need the phone itself! It's great for making to-do lists, setting reminders, shopping lists & also the family calendar - this one is key too, because notice that it's for the family. This is different from most calendars, which are only meant for one person and their appointments.
 
Grocery iQ

This app is GREAT for mothers, especially because it's basically available on every platform you can imagine. It allows you to scan prices of products when shopping so that you can get clued in on what you're getting for your money. Is that cereal a bargain, or simply a crafty way of making it look like you're getting a steal? Find out with this app!
 

Whole Foods Market Recipes

Whole Foods Market Recipes is a terrific app for anyone who wants to enjoy a healthy diet. The best thing about this app is the ability to sort based upon dietary preference. The user can sort for gluten free recipes, high fiber recipes and many other types. Kids are picky too, so luckily this app can make everyone happy, especially a busy mom cooking for many.

Kindle

The Kindle app is a great app for the busy mom. A lot of times moms do not have time to enjoy themselves. With the Kindle app, a mom can read her favorite books while waiting to pick up her kids or in those few precious minutes of alone time. The Kindle app is also great to read recipes, pdf files or magazines. Anyone on the go should look into the Kindle app, and perhaps the best thing about is that if you skip buying hard-copies of books, you have more room for storage and less to clean!

Thousands and thousands of applications exist for all phone platforms. There are also apps for all types of users and preferences. Nobody knows the importance of time management more than a single mom.

These apps will not only save a single mom time, they will also save her money!


Jessie Hughes writes about parenting, working from home and more. Her favourite piece is on the Top 10 iPhone Apps for Teachers.


Do you have any apps that you cannot live without?

I don't have to contemplate my grey hair...

I know where it is coming from...

One hour on a Saturday morning, and I know!

The morning started very calm and peaceful with more watching of the Olympics, and a later breakfast at home... A perfect Saturday!

Then all hell broke loose!
The Toddler all of a sudden complained about her stomach, very low-down. Something was hurting her quite badly, or so it seemed judging by the screaming, and the whirling and curling around, AND THE CRYING!

It started just when we were beginning to get ready for the day and her Tiny Tumbles' classes...

We could not see any mark on her stomach, but we put on some cream.

We took off her panties just in case it might have irritated her.

We carried her upstairs to lie down in her bed.

We were trying by some questioning to get to the root of the problem. You know all those questions that immediately swirl through your brain when your child is in pain:

- Did she hurt herself at school/at home?
- Did she fall?
- Did somebody else hurt her?
- Did she hurt her vagina? (Especially just after reading Melinda's concerns this week about her greatest fear!)
- Does she have worms?
- Is she naughty?
- Is she trying to delay getting dressed and going to the gymnastics?

There were even some "exchanges" going on between the "elders" about the correct handling of the situation... (In terms of "Is she naughty?" or "Is there something really wrong?")

A final blood-curdling scream gave the answer! With the bed and the Toddler getting soaked in pee!

She forgot to go to the toilet! (We did not remind her!)

After a bath she announced she was feeling just fine , and we were just a little bit late for her gymnastics lesson on Saturday...


I do not have to wonder at all where my grey is coming from!

My daily rejection

The best time of my day during the week is when I go to fetch the Toddler at school.

I cannot wait to see the little face. To see how it lights up and she comes running up to me...
I look forward to it the whole day long!

But it seems that she does not share my sentiments!

As soon as I pick her up I have to hear that her Dad is supposed to come and fetch her!
Every day! For the last three weeks already!

He usually drops her off, and I go to pick her up.

I do not mind when I am being told that her Dad should come to lay with her in the evenings! That usually gives me a bit of me-time. It also does not happen every night. And sometimes she prefers her Mother at night...

How do we deal with these daily rejections?
(I hope she reads this one day, especially when she has her own children...
"I forgive you!")

My eldest also wanted to go and stay with the un-father when she was 12. That was one of the worst times in my life! At 13 her eyes finally opened up to the situation!
It was a very bad rejection to live with for a few months!

Parenting involves a lot of rejection!

"I love you, even though you do not want me around all the time!"
I know it's part of growing up and becoming a big girl!

For my children - a keepsake

For my children, by Dionna Ford
published by Ulysses Press

I received this beautiful journal For my children through the post.
I responded on a social media invite by Dionna Ford of Code Name Mama for a review of the book.

I love the feel of any journal.
I love the smell of the pages.
I love the look of pages waiting to be filled with memories and wishes and wisdom...

There is so much that any mother wants to say and carry over to her children. There is some important stuff that we have learnt through shear raw experience that we want them to know!

Our years really count for something. (I would hope so! ;-) )

We also do not always know that our "words of wisdom" are appreciated when spoken... (Not judging by the roll of the eyes...)

But I know that it would be great to have something like this to pass on to my two daughters! I see this as something worth more than any other thing/money (unfortunately not!) that I could give to them!

Dionna's introduction states that her mother has always been the first person she ran to for just about anything. That is the same I feel about my mother...

"For my children: a mother's Journal of memories, wishes, and wisdom provides a way to chronicle a mother's history, to reveal stories and trivia that might otherwise be forgotten, to pass on generational wisdom, and most of all, to strenghten and create connections that may go untended. It is my hope that these writing prompts canbe a catlyst for your own new discoveries and connections." - Dionna Ford

The journal is divided in 7 sections: Motherhood; Family and Home; Children; Life Wisdom and Wishes; Love and Relationships; You in the World; On Being You.

Each section has prompts to help complete the journal? The first section on Motherhood starts with the following: "List the ways you feel closer to your mother now that you have children of your own:"

I can't wait to start writing here, in my own handwriting!

I also now have a place for my Mother's Day bookmark that came from the school.

Thanks Dionna, and Ulysses Press!

The book can be found here: For my children
http://ulyssespress.com/?books=for-my-children