I don't have to contemplate my grey hair...

I know where it is coming from...

One hour on a Saturday morning, and I know!

The morning started very calm and peaceful with more watching of the Olympics, and a later breakfast at home... A perfect Saturday!

Then all hell broke loose!
The Toddler all of a sudden complained about her stomach, very low-down. Something was hurting her quite badly, or so it seemed judging by the screaming, and the whirling and curling around, AND THE CRYING!

It started just when we were beginning to get ready for the day and her Tiny Tumbles' classes...

We could not see any mark on her stomach, but we put on some cream.

We took off her panties just in case it might have irritated her.

We carried her upstairs to lie down in her bed.

We were trying by some questioning to get to the root of the problem. You know all those questions that immediately swirl through your brain when your child is in pain:

- Did she hurt herself at school/at home?
- Did she fall?
- Did somebody else hurt her?
- Did she hurt her vagina? (Especially just after reading Melinda's concerns this week about her greatest fear!)
- Does she have worms?
- Is she naughty?
- Is she trying to delay getting dressed and going to the gymnastics?

There were even some "exchanges" going on between the "elders" about the correct handling of the situation... (In terms of "Is she naughty?" or "Is there something really wrong?")

A final blood-curdling scream gave the answer! With the bed and the Toddler getting soaked in pee!

She forgot to go to the toilet! (We did not remind her!)

After a bath she announced she was feeling just fine , and we were just a little bit late for her gymnastics lesson on Saturday...


I do not have to wonder at all where my grey is coming from!

Taking control of murder hour

It has been very difficult each afternoon to drive home with a toddler that goes ballistic in the back seat!
I know!
I know!
She's tired and she wants attention and the last 30 minutes strapped in a back seat does not make it any easier...

Reluctant Mom writes much more eloquently about the subject, but we all know what I am talking about.

By the time I reach home, I am ready to commit a murder.
And dying from shame, because my colleague who drives home with me does not have the same discipline strategies...

Yesterday I told her dad to just go and fetch her from the back seat, because I have had my share...

We banned "kindertjies" (children's programmes) for the night, and today it went much better already!

But we are not totally there yet, and there is another ban in place tonight!

It is not such a bad thing, because she has to find other creative ways to keep busy...

What to do with a strict teacher?

The Toddler is going to get a strict teacher the following year. I was hoping and planning that it would only happen when she was four, but the day care has decided to move her into the strict teacher’s class when she is three.

I am planning to move her to a new day care when it happens...

I have been so happy with the day care this year. I had some issues the previous year, with the Toddler getting hurt, and being in a class with only an assistant teacher.

They started this year in a new class! Only six of them, and I could see that it made a difference in the Toddler’s life. She started to sing and scrabble more at home! (Some more “lights” came on!)

During the holidays they moved her to a new class because it was felt that the six should be more up to date with the rest of the group. The reason is to integrate better next year. The Toddler is now with a group of about 15. She is extremely happy there!

The problem is the strict teacher next year!

From the beginning I said I would not let my child go to her. She screams at the children. She gives them hidings (although it is not allowed!). She has also said some pretty disturbing things to children, such as when we drop them off: “Your mother still loves you very much!” (WTF!)

She has told a friend’s girl that she makes the worst sketches in the world!

The day care owner is aware of this lady’s shortcomings. She told me that she has sent her home on a couple of occasions when she heard her screaming at the children. But she feels that this teacher is very good with keeping to the learning guidelines. She also spends lots of her time helping some of the children to catch up.

My question is: Do I allow my child to be subjected to this lady’s inability to control her own anger, and also her seemingly lack of insight into the child’s psyche? The other questions: Does learning take place in a place of hostility? Or should my child learn to handle different types of authority figures? Is it too soon to subject her to this at the age of three?

While writing this, it seems I have made up my own mind already...

What are your thoughts about strict teachers? Do some children handle it better than others?

Related post:
Day care woes and first report card

The Shriek!

Alas! I thought we were not going to see it. (Margot called it “the era of the one loud shriek”). But here it is. At nearly one year of age. The baby shrieks for EVERY THING! It is not even the hurt cry anymore. It is the unhappy shrieking when something is not going her way. At this stage she is only contented being carried and showed stuff, or walking with her where she wants to go. The rest of the time we have to be very creative to keep the little mind occupied. The Manipulator wants to have it her way!
The question is: How far do we let her get her way? For the outside observer it looks like THE TANTRUM. Maybe it is the tantrum already? This weekend Dries and I said to each other this is a very difficult stage. Not even the constant crying and being awake of the beginning feels as taxing as this. How long does this last? Or will we get immune to it? Is this the battle to win in the power of the wills?
SHRIEEEEK!!!! We are trying to go with the flow, taking it moment by moment… BUT we are too exhausted (because of a lack of sleep, thanks to baby as well) to jump to every demand.
Sorry, Mieka, my girl, we are not able to follow all your commands! Now is the time you are going to learn about boundaries… It is going to be very difficult on you, but on your parents as well…

Manipulating the parents

The baby starts screaming, all of a sudden, at the top of her lungs. It is the scream of being hurt. A scream that makes you jump up immediately to grab the baby to see what is wrong. It is not the Shriek that Margot or LK spoke about.
“THE SCREAM!!”
Stop everything! The baby is hurt!
Rush and pick up the baby.
The baby stops her screaming. The baby smiles!
What the ….? We are being taken for a ride already. The baby is eleven months old, and she fakes a hurt scream to get us to pick her up, or to change her scenery when she is not satisfied with it anymore.
But we can’t ignore the scream, even if it is “Wolf, Wolf”, because the possibility exists that it could be a hurt cream. For real!
The little manipulator! What do we do with this type of behaviour?