Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts

Thursday, 1 August 2013

Becoming sad and desperate for a baby - Hoping


Why is it so difficult to adopt a baby?

We hear of so many children and babies who are looking for parents....
So many children and babies who are in places of safety and children's homes...

Their adoptive parents are sad and desperate to adopt them!
They want them! They have a place for them in their home!
They are ready for them.
Now! This minute!
They are exploring all avenues.

They are waiting and hoping, but sometimes the waiting gets too much!

I don't understand it that it must be such a difficult process with so much red tape and money, dependent on the whims/competence of welfare workers!

I saw this post today from a colleague and I just wanted to say: Your baby is out there!
(I know that!)

If any of you have any suggestions on how to make this happen, or perhaps have a contact detail? That would be appreciated!
There must be some place or something that they have not yet explored?


The merry ways of Retha Buys & co: Thursday Thought: Desperatately: It's a year since the process started, and I so desperately don't want to think about finding our baby every waking moment, but I do...

Friday, 28 June 2013

Flashback Friday - unearthing the photos that were not stolen

I am still reeling after the robbery the previous week at our house. We thought we were safe, until we found out that we were not!

We are still discovering precious keepsakes that were stolen, and won't be replaced.

But I am still so hit-over-the-head upset with myself for not backing up the photos from my computer. I had everything filed and sorted in the "Library", and was regularly uploading from my camera, phone and iPad. But I did not back it up from there. WHY?

I haven't looked at what is still backed-up on our hard drive, but I am sure it is nothing from this year.
It is times like these I am grateful for Facebook and my blog for some of the photos that I have uploaded. But I had tons more...

I saw a post by Laura of Harassed Mom today of Flashback Friday, and decided it was a good time to see what is still left on my work computer. Although I haven't uploaded private photos here in quite a while...

I found this photo of 10 years back. The Pre-Teen was 10 years at that stage.

She turns 20 in a week's time! 
One of the photos that would have been lost,
taken in 2013

A few photos from Debbie's camera in December 2009.

Just a few days after the little one was born.

We were dead tired at that stage,
but looking at the photo it does not reflect it at all!

A kiss from my big sister.
 She must be over 6 months old, but I do not see a date on the photo.

Playing with an old doll at Grandma's house
And the most dated "photos" of our Little One.
The little one at 30 weeks
(all my scans are here)

I am of the opinion that you can't have too many photos of your little ones!

I hope you are backing up your photos and videos now?

Thursday, 16 May 2013

No words

RIP Liam Buys
I have no words.
I know for sure that no words can make it better! Or find some sense in it.
A small baby, a life, a little person...
He was dead when born!
He had two moms waiting for him. Two moms who wanted to adopt him. Two moms waiting, and expecting, and planning!
Two moms who had to go to his funeral yesterday, without having seen him...
Two moms who are mourning the loss of him!

I can only put your name here, Liam Buys!
You will not be forgotten!

Friday, 10 August 2012

Baby crib safety - 7 noteworthy tips

I wish I had known all these pointers when we were in the market for baby cribs!

I do get the shivers when I sometimes see how "lucky" we were.

Our child "survived" our parenting, but only from dumb luck.

I saw these tips over at Newborn Care

7 Tips for baby crib safety

1. Avoid SIDS by Eschewing Soft Bedding – The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends that new parents eschew all crib bedding apart from a fitted sheet for the first twelve months of their baby’s life. Opting for wearable blankets rather than loose blankets and placing babies on their backs to sleep with no pillows or plush toys can prevent the risk of suffocation. If you do choose to use a blanket in your infant’s crib, the Consumer Product Safety Commission suggests positioning your baby so that her feet are touching the bottom rails of her crib, tucking the blanket in at the bottom and sides of the mattress, and only pulling the blanket up to her chest. Keep in mind that babies can overheat much more easily than adults, and you should use only lightweight blankets to ensure that she stays warm.

2. Make Sure Your Mattress Fits Tightly in the Crib – Your baby’s crib mattress should be firm, not soft, to help reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and suffocation. It should also fit tightly into the crib to prevent suffocation or entrapment between the mattress and the crib’s sides. Ideally, you should be able to fit no more than two fingers between the side of the mattress and the frame of the crib. The surface of the mattress shouldn’t conform to an adult hand when pressed into the mattress, and it should snap back into place as soon as the hand is removed.

3. Forgo the Antiques – The ornate, antique crib used by three generations of your family might be a beautiful piece of furniture, and every child that used it may have survived their infancy, but that doesn’t necessarily make it a safe choice. In addition to the unlikelihood of slats and bars being properly spaced on very old cribs, they may also feature drop sides, which have been banned, and even a layer or two of lead-based paint. Let good sense trump sentimentality, and choose a new crib that adheres to modern safety standards.

4. If You Do Choose Decorative Bedding, Play it Smart – If you simply can’t bear the idea of skipping the magazine layout-worthy crib bedding to show off Baby’s nursery to the fullest, be smart about your decision and make sure that the fitted sheet is snug, thin, and breathable. When it’s time to put your baby down, be sure to pull every pillow, stuffed toy, comforter and any other soft objects out of the crib first. Parents determined to have a nursery ready for photographs as well as a lowered risk of their baby suffering from SIDS, suffocation, or injury are forced to compromise in just such a manner, but can have the best of both worlds by playing it safe and smart.

5. Do Your Homework About Crib Bumpers – The city of Chicago has banned the sale of crib bumpers altogether, with advocacy groups across the country crying out for similar bans on a national level. Parents are largely divided into two camps these days: pro-bumper and anti-bumper. If you fall into the former, be sure to research the subject thoroughly and apprise yourself of all the risks before tying those bumpers onto Baby’s crib; namely, the risk of suffocation and the impediment of air flow in the crucial area at your baby’s face level on all four sides of her crib. Also, don’t be fooled into thinking that bumpers are safe once the threat of SIDS has largely passed; older babies and young toddlers have been known to use bumpers as a means of climbing out of their cribs, leading to messy falls and giving them access to dangerous situations. Both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Consumer Product Safety Commission have given crib bumpers a thumbs-down, so it might be wise to think twice before springing for those adorable but potentially-deadly accessories.

6. Do a Recall Check – Before purchasing nursery furniture or bedding, make sure that you check for any recalls; repeat these checks regularly after you’ve made your purchase as well to ensure that safety hazards haven’t been discovered since the last time you looked. The Consumer Product Safety Commission website is a great resource for recall information.

7. Afterwards - Parents should also take care to place cribs away from windows, and to secure blind cords and curtain ties to prevent strangulation.

 

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

The best thing I did with my newborn


Spending hours and hours in the same chair, holding her and breastfeeding her.
Our Little Tortoise.

Looking at her.

Holding her.

Breastfeeding her.

Again. And. Again.


I now know it was the best best use of my time!
Ever!

I will never get that back again!
But I will cherish those special months we had together...

Too soon we do not have to say again: "This too will pass!"


What was the best thing you did when you had a newborn?


(Photo: Debbie Rogers)

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Photos on my computer


I found these photos of our baby on my computer.

She was six months old at the time.
Already I struggle to hold on to the memory of her being a baby...
It goes by with a breath of air...




Hubby said the other day that she holds her dolls exactly as he used to hold her.
His hand behind her head in a protective embrace...

I hope I remember the little doll that she was!

Because she has changed.
The little baby is gone!
She is "big" (as she tells me every day)!

Photo taken this past weekend

How do we hold on to all the memories of our little ones?

Monday, 23 January 2012

Threats from our toddler

37 months on Saturday and she knows how to make a threat!


“I am going to tell my sister!”
(The sister who is now at varsity.)

Then it gets more violent after that, because she tells us what her sister is going to do with us…

With guns and knives…

It’s funny, but also NOT!

Where does she get the language? Because it is not how we speak to her or each other…

A sad reflection of our society today?

Too much TV?

Bad TV?

Bad parenting?

We find that being a 3-year old is a very aggressive age!


The year is in full swing and its back to tiny gymnastics again! She missed the classes, and I could see the improvement from the previous year.
Tiny Tumbles

The Toddler met her new cousin, and we had a whole discussion about the family hierarchy.

“Sunet is my baby!”
Dad: “No, she is Elise & Karel’s baby! She is your cousin!”
“She is MY cousin, not yours!”
Dad: “Of course, because I am her uncle!”
“She is not Clarisse’s cousin!”
Dad: “No, she is Clarisse’s sister!” and so on...

She also did not want me to take the baby home!
Welcome, Sunet!

We had a very relaxing weekend with our toddler, and there was time to do some decorating in her room, thanks to Mr Price!

Pinocchio turned out to be a scary bed-time story, because she woke up screaming about the growing nose last night!
Back back in the shelve with Bambi...

Monday, and missing the little face her again!


How was your weekend?


Related post:
Some toddler stuff

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

The first bleep

Mieka at 8 weeks
The heartbeat is the sound of a horse galloping very fast! That’s what it sounded like when we first heard it at the gyne’s offices. The first ultrasound scan at 8 weeks. That was in May 2008.


It was the most wonderful sound in the whole wide world!

We had lost a baby only four months back. We had a check-up at eleven weeks, and the little dot did not move or bleep! It was the most horrifying deafening sound of all! Nothing!

So you can imagine our apprehension when we sat again in the doctor’s offices… Saying to each other that we would not want to go through this again if there was something wrong… It was too stressful and painful!

That bleep is by far the most beautiful sound in the whole wide world. I heard the sob from my husband as I was wiping the tears from my eyes!

We also could not relax this time around until I heard the confirmation over the telephone at 18 weeks…

The amniocentesis test showed a perfectly healthy baby girl! Joy! Your father said his only thought was of you being perfectly healthy. (He was in a business meeting at the time.) It was only later that it struck him that I said a “girl”! He had to phone me back to confirm!

We were so excited to hear that all was well! I am sure that we wouldn’t have parted with you in any case. Even if they told us that something was wrong! I started to feel you kicking at 14 weeks, and I knew right from the start that you were a girl! You were part of the family already…

Today, we are still excited about you being in our lives!

Thanks for choosing us as your family!

You are our perfect little girl!
Mieka with Arnia

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Having a baby sister

The teen about her relationship with the toddler:

23 months ago my dream came true, Mieka was born. I had always wished for a baby sis.

At first when I heard my mom was pregnant, I was like, “Oh my word!  I’m 15 and my mom is 40.” And I also thought that was a bit late to get another baby.

I was an only child and it wasn’t always easy. There were a lot of games that were hard to play; like catch. THAT WAS TIRING!!

When Mieka wants to play catch in a few years I would love to play, but will probably have back pain or something because of the age difference.
I love Mieka to bits and I will do anything for her. I will beat anyone who messes with her and I will even give up my afternoon naps to watch her.

A lot of teenagers are getting pregnant, not that I was planning to get a baby, but when Mieka came into the picture I realized that having a baby is very hard work. I have decided that if I planned on having a baby it would be in my 30’s.

I love walking with Mieka in the malls when my mom is not around, because people always look at you and think that Mieka is my baby. I once heard a woman saying to her friend that I was a slut. All I could do was smile at people’s perceptions.

All & all I love Mieka. She is the best thing that ever happened to me!

Thursday, 18 November 2010

We don’t listen about having babies

Laura at Harassed Mom asks the question why nobody tells new parents about the bad stuff about having babies. I believe we DO know and hear it - all the warnings and jokes about having babies - but we think it can’t be as bad as they say.

And then it is much worse! The not-sleeping! The LIVE-Changing impact on your carefree lifestyle!  The impact on you budget – for at least the next twenty years. The impact on the parents’ relationship with each other... I could go on and on. We all know and experience the list...

But we don’t care at all! Because we look at this wonderful creature in our lives who have come to enrich it, and we can’t imagine our lives without her!

Look at that face while sleeping... Our Angel!

I know there are mothers who struggle with post-natal depression, and dads who feel threatened by the new intruder. I acknowledge that it could be far worse to be in that position.

Luckily with Mieka, the second time around, we did not have to face this.

The first time around I had to deal with a jealous husband (now an X, the canceled one) who demanded that I spend most of my time with him, and not our new-born daughter (now the teen). Luckily she slept through quite soon. I remember I used to think that I could deal with any baby, but it was much worse dealing with him...

But we get through these times much sooner than we think possible. I would not change having two beautiful daughters in my life! It has been the most rewarding experience and the relationships will continue to enrich our lives!

Thank you that we don’t listen to the doomsayers!

Monday, 8 November 2010

Infant dyschezia translates into not sleeping

Mieka 4 days old (photo Debbie Rogers)

I remember those early days with our baby. From the first night she did not sleep for very long, and the crying was exhausting. Especially from suicide hour and later. Watching the clock goes from 12 to 1 to 2 to 3 to 4...
Friends of ours have got a little girl keeping them up now. They were lucky with their first-born, a boy. Not so with number two. Margot at Jou Ma se Blerrie Blog also has a Richie who goes into screaming marathons. I really feel for them.  I think we still feel the aftershocks of those early not sleeping...

Some calls it colicky babies! It’s definitely got something to do with the little stomachs. Because they wiggle and squirm while screaming at the top of their lungs. And there is not much we can do about it. Gripe water and rocking and breastfeeding and and...

Our paediatrician called Mieka’s "problem" infant dyschezia. A condition to do with the passing of wind, or before the passing of a soft bowel movement. It also gets diagnosed when the infant is healthy and has passed all of their milestones. We could see that Mieka was very uncomfortable after she had her meals. Wind and crying definitely went hand in hand. We called it the “poopies” and it kept us busy until she was about eight months old.

I do not hear it getting mentioned when talking about colicky babies. It is definitely something to consider when the little one screams and you can see that it has something to do with a bowel movement. Especially when it is soft bowel movements...

After we knew what the problem was, we had more sympathy and understanding for our little one. We used to jump on an exercise ball with her, and many a times she fell asleep on her dad’s shoulder... Somehow we made it through those nights. (Big smile!) I now can make lists of sleep tactics!

“This too has passed!”

Friday, 22 October 2010

5 Tips on how to survive Stork Parties

I am not into Stork Parties at all! It is one of my pet hates. Is there something wrong with me?


Having to go to a function where you mostly do not know the rest of the women. Where you have to Oooh! and Aaah! at every little present being unwrapped and at the cute baby clothes and gadgets being held up.

And having to listen to horrendous birth stories…

And then getting yourself terribly uptight when you are not being acknowledged for a present you put a lot of effort into selecting… (I am fickle that way!)

I have started to compile a list on how to survive it, (and actually enjoy it). Because sometimes you have to go because it is a dear friend or family member…

5 Tips on how to survive Stork Parties:

  1. To have valid reasons for declining the invitation. The following are totally acceptable and should be made law! You don’t have to say anything when saying you can’t come:
               - When you don’t have any children.

               - When you are struggling to conceive.

               - When you have had a miscarriage.

   2.  It is great when there is somebody familiar to start a conversation with. Or make a new friend! You can catch up while the proceedings are underway.

   3. Hover near the beverages and food. Keep yourself occupied that way, especially when alcohol is available!

   4. To cope with the horrendous birth stories, tell your own, and make it as gruesome as possible! Enjoy the look of horror on the face of the pregnant woman. (You are bad, Karen!)

   5. When you have other children, bring them along! It makes it easy to excuse yourself while running after them, and also to go earlier…

Do you have more tips to add to my list?

(Graphic: "Stork" - Microsoft clip art)

Thursday, 21 October 2010

A year ago Thursday Blog Hop #2 – The toddler is 22 months today

Mieka at 22 months
Today, a year ago: The toddler was ten months and I was still raving about bonus days I got for taking the baby to clinic and getting a whole day to do it. She had no hair and a McDonalds play thing on her head.


Mieka at ten months
 I am joining Mommy Only Has Two Hands in her going down memory lane Thursday Blog Hop. Go and check her rules when you want to join in.


Today the toddler is 22 months. I know I say every time she can’t get cuter than his, but she does! We are really enjoying the little person she is becoming.

The vocabulary is coming along very well. I was worried at one stage, but she says a lot more than we are able to understand. She stands in front of us and give us a whole blast of words! We hear babble, but sometimes we catch a recognisable word. The head nods very seriously while she tells her whole “story”! (CUTE!)

Some more 22 month things:

  • She loves drawing. She insists that we sit with her and draw with her.
  • She has a fascination with “goggas” (insects). She wants to look at them, but not yet touch.
  • We get feedback from the school that she hits and bites some of her class mates. I feel terrible about it! We try to talk to her. I do hope that it is a passing phase...
  • When I leave her at day care in the mornings, she’s got a new thing. She does not want to kiss me, but immediately turns her head when I put her in the arms of a teacher. Then she looks out of the window until I pass on the outside and she waves to me. She smiles and she waves... That helps me a lot during my working day...

She was sick again from the weekend. Nose and ears and eyes! Nothing new! I had her at the doctor today, and now we are throwing drops in all of the “openings”. Not a favourite thing for the toddler! The doctor says that Johannesburg is the worst place for children with regards the pollution. That’s why we struggle so much with the allergies. The fact that it does not rain, makes it even worse...

What happened with you a year ago?

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Pooh made us leave

Did you ever forget something for the little one and had to leave?

I checked the toddler’s bag this morning.
Clothes. Check.
Food. Check.
Bottles. Check.
Toys. Check.
Wet wipes. Check.
Plastic bags. Check.
Tissues. Check.

Ready for church! We were just settled in when we smelt the recognizable pooh. Dries undertook the “very desirable” job of changing the nappy. (Great Hubby here!)

Luckily I saw my phone vibrate a minute later...
“Karen...!”
“Pregnant silence...” (My first thought was that his phone was calling me on its own. These touch-screen phones of nowadays!)
“There are no nappies in the bag!”
What to do? We had to go home!

Why did you have to leave?

Thursday, 7 October 2010

A year ago Thursday Blog Hop - Why go vertical?

Thursday Blog Hops

I am taking part in Mommy Only has Two Hands A Year Ago Thursday Blog Hop.
Check out the rules on Mommy Only has Two Hands. The other two hosts are From PDX With Love and Wyatt Family Farm.

Going down memory lane - a year ago today. It is nice to see how far we have come...

I went back to last year's blog post on 7 October 2009. A year ago we were worried about our baby starting to walk while she did not crawl first. She only did the bum-shuffle or the crab creep. She was nearly ten months old. She finally walked at 13 months, skipping the crawl!

Why go vertical when you can go horizontal?

Mieka has not started to crawl yet, and it seems she is not going to. All she wants to do at this stage is walk, with us having to walk with her. She also enjoys the walking ring, but her favourite way of moving around now is walking while being held. Whenever we put her down on her stomach, she freezes in the position, with her arms straight, and complains. She only stops when we pull her up again. How do you get a baby to crawl, when she wants to walk already? I can imagine years of extra maths classes because she has skipped the important crawling phase in her development… Why worry? We will deal with that later! Now we are the enablers in her horizontal quest! I think she is super intelligent, and does not need to go through all the phases.
(Says the proud mom wink-wink)
Overrated, the crawling thing, I say now! We are dealing with the crawling in the little gymnastics. There are better things to worry about...

Thursday, 30 September 2010

Wet wipes one of the essential items for baby/toddler

What did mothers ever do without wet wipes? I know, I know! The green thing to do is NOT to use wet wipes. We should rather use wet cotton cloths.


I am weak. Wet wipes are like white gold to me. Nearly as expensive and nearly as valuable to a lazy overworked mother. Wet wipes and a baby, now a toddler, go hand in hand. It’s good to clean the bums AND the mouth. We have wet wipes in her bag, in her room, and in the car.

Even our day care uses wet wipes for everything. Sigh of relief! Some day cares use one wet cloth to go through a whole bunch of dirty faces... The teen remembers how they used to wipe all the faces with a bowl of water and a cloth. Horrors! Why did it not bother me years ago?

The toddler agrees with me. She thinks a bag of wet wipes is one of the best toys ever! There is nothing as exhilarating as pulling out a wet wipe one by one. And then wiping your own feet, and the floor, and blow your nose in it, and cleaning Daddy’s face...

If not checked, you can find yourself being wiped by a snotty wet wipe...
The toddler LOVES wet wipes.

Wet wipes are one of those things I cannot go without. What is the essential thing you can’t go without with regards your baby or toddler?

Thursday, 23 September 2010

The simple things in life – the world according to Toddler

We are crawling around with the toddler. On the ground, looking at ants, picking up rocks, and smelling the flowers! It is the simple things that get the toddler excited. The more she gets excited, the more we get excited with her... The more we appreciate the simple things in life as well!

Simple things are not stupid things. Simple things in life mean going back to what-really-matters.

The floor/ground is a wonderful place to explore. Do you know how many things you can pick off from the ground?

A speck of woolly dust provides hours of fun:
  • Blowing it up in the air.
  • Laughing your head off at the way the speck of wool fly and fall to the ground.
  • Falling down on your knees, looking for the speck. “Ma-ma-ma?”
  • Sheer delight in finding it again! “Ma-MA!”
  • Trying to blow it again. And again. And again!
I love being able to experience the world anew with the toddler. We get to look at the world again with new eyes! Every-thing is worth an exploration!

The world is a fun place, you know!

What is the little things that amuses your little one?

Friday, 17 September 2010

Ways to deal with the guilt of being a working mother

Powerwoman says enough is enough! Why do we have to feel guilty as working mothers when we have to leave our babies at someplace else when we go off to work? Some of us have a choice. Which is absolutely fine! Some of us don’t! Like me! I have to work to cover the finances...


I am compiling a silly (NOT!) list of ways dealing with working mother’s guilt:

  • Take out your payslip (note, not bank statement) and check the amount you get every month! Say to yourself this is what you are giving back to your family.
  • Buy your baby the expensive outfit when faced with choice.
  • When you are asked about your career say smugly that you are a working mom! Expand laboriously about all the skills and experience that you have built up. (Do not let on that you are secretly wishing to be a SAHM...)
  • Pour a glass of red wine at the end of a long working day! (You deserve it!)
  • Linger over a cup of coffee... Whenever! Especially when at work!
  • Spend some extra quality time with baby (toddler or child) when you arrive home. Do not immediately jump into house work, because the house is clean. (Supposed to, because nobody was at home to dirty it.)
  • Think of all the extra social skills your child are acquiring while at day care!
  • Pat yourself on the back! “Well done, working Mom!” Regularly!
  • Enjoy your own enjoyment when you see the look of delight on your baby’s face when you go to pick them up after a long day!
  • Cherish weekends with the baby! You are not feeling overwhelmed after a long week with children. You missed them during the week!
  • Marvel at the fact that you don’t get impatient with the little ones when they get whiney! You have built up lots of patience by being away from them every day!
  • You have a decent excuse when asked to do something at school! Use it!
  • You can go shopping during lunch-time without a toddler in tow!
  • You are able to meet a colleague/friend during lunch without having to drag the toddler with.
  • When Hubby complains about his working day, you are able to complain about your own working day as well! “Mine was the worst!”
  • You can expect Hubby to help out with ALL the housework! No sitting down with newspaper and beer /coffee for him after a long working day! No, Mister! (My Hubby does his fair share and more! Thanks, Dries!)
  • Pat yourself on the back! Again! “Well done, working Mom!”
It seems that this is a work in progress! Do you have any other suggestions? (It is a lot of fun!)

Working Moms rock! (Smug smiley face!)

Related post:
A day in the working mom

Sunday, 5 September 2010

Letting go of the cute clothes (cute baby)

No. 3 shoes
I get very attached to my clothes and shoes. Dries had to force me to throw out a pair of really yucky shoes the other day. This weekend I cleaned out the toddler’s cupboard, and had to finally throw out the 6-12 months clothes, as well as her number 3 shoes.


She is still able to wear some of the 6-12 months clothes – she is such a shorty – but she is now into the 12-18 months clothes. (She is 20 months now.) I find it a bit of sad. 6-12 months means “baby”, and now she is a “BIG girl”! I also absolutely love the clothes and shoes! I could have continued to still dress her in the adorable clothes...
Winnie-the-Pooh play set - 6-12 months
Luckily there are so many cute clothes for them to wear! Look at this dress she wore today. It is summer here, and we love being in the sun!


Goodbye baby! Hello big girl! (Forgive me the nostalgia!)

Related post:
The toddler - shoes and fluff of hair

Tuesday, 15 June 2010

SMILES FOR KINSHASA, by Karin d’Orville

Operation Smile in DRC - 21 to 30 May 2010

I asked my friend Karin d’Orville to write an account of her volunteer work for Operation Smile in the Congo. Operation Smile changes smiles and lives for the people they help. As a mother I can just imagine how heart-wrenching and difficult it must be to have a baby with a cleft lip, cleft palate or other facial deformities.

The long wait
Karin: "French and Lingala are foreign to me. I don’t understand a word. But the emotions on the sea of faces under the canopy are universal: hope, anxiety – and fear. Fear of having hopes dashed. Fear of the unknown. Any medical procedure is a daunting prospect. But the prospect of being selected for an operation that could make you fit in instead of being an outcast – that’s a valid apprehension.

Kinshasa is a sprawling city of some 9 million residents. The lawn of the Clinique Ngaliema is jam-packed. Parents of babies as young as 4 days and grown men of 84 years old – they all hope to get the thumbs-up for facial surgery. Their fates lie in the hands of a group of some 60 foreigners, assembled from 8 countries, including South Africa, Namibia, the USA and Belgium.

Screening
Like every member of the group, I’ve volunteered to be here. It was as a journalist in November 2008, that I got first hand knowledge of Operation Smile, an international NGO that changes the lives of mainly children with cleft lips and palates. When I recently had to decide what to do with my weeks of accumulated leave, I thought back to my Madagascan experience with Operation Smile – and that not all their volunteers are medical professionals. It wasn’t a difficult decision to offer my services for a mission in the DRC.



Queueing for surgery
Medical records are probably the most “un-medical” job during an Op Smile mission. After a few days of writing and filing, my back ached, ink levels were low and my hand cramped. But it brought me up close and personal with every patient who so desperately needed life-changing intervention. And when my spirits were on the low side, a team member would so magically appear and offer a back rub or cold drink in the sweltering Kinshasa heat.

Queuing for surgery


Of the 377 patients the team screened, 155 were operated on. I needed no translator to understand the warm handshake from a grateful parent – the shy and painful but oh so perfect smile of a young patient taken to post-op in a wheelchair.



Queuing for surgery
Operation Smile turns no patients away. Those who did not receive surgeries in May, have been asked to return – when Operation Smile visits Kinshasa again. Will I be back? Yes, cramping hands and all. Individuals are so often powerless to affect change – but my experience in Kinshasa has taught me the power of the collective – and has made me so grateful for what is my perfect imperfect life in South Africa."
 Karin d'Orville

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