Second Blogoversary

This blog was two years old on Saturday! 584 posts with this one after two years... Happy birthday Blog!

I read my first blog post again, and my goal for this blog stays the same. I have recorded so many of the milestones in my daughters' lives.

When I try to tell someone about the reasons for my blogging, I sometimes get stuck when I see the look of confusion on a face...

But bloggers know why we blog, and that we become somewhat addicted to the daily post. (I give myself off over weekends.)

I have met so many interesting people!
I have learnt so many new stuff about parenting!
I have learnt so much about social media and networking through this!

Blogging on...

My first post two years back:

http://momagain40.blogspot.com/2009/08/mom-blogging.html?spref=bl: "Blog by Karen du Toit about becoming a parent after the age of 40, the second time after 15 years. It’s all about new beginnings. Being a ..."

The first bleep

Mieka at 8 weeks

The heartbeat is the sound of a horse galloping very fast! That’s what it sounded like when we first heard it at the gyne’s offices. The first ultrasound scan at 8 weeks. That was in May 2008.


It was the most wonderful sound in the whole wide world!

We had lost a baby only four months back. We had a check-up at eleven weeks, and the little dot did not move or bleep! It was the most horrifying deafening sound of all! Nothing!

So you can imagine our apprehension when we sat again in the doctor’s offices… Saying to each other that we would not want to go through this again if there was something wrong… It was too stressful and painful!

That bleep is by far the most beautiful sound in the whole wide world. I heard the sob from my husband as I was wiping the tears from my eyes!

We also could not relax this time around until I heard the confirmation over the telephone at 18 weeks…

The amniocentesis test showed a perfectly healthy baby girl! Joy! Your father said his only thought was of you being perfectly healthy. (He was in a business meeting at the time.) It was only later that it struck him that I said a “girl”! He had to phone me back to confirm!

We were so excited to hear that all was well! I am sure that we wouldn’t have parted with you in any case. Even if they told us that something was wrong! I started to feel you kicking at 14 weeks, and I knew right from the start that you were a girl! You were part of the family already…

Today, we are still excited about you being in our lives!

Thanks for choosing us as your family!

You are our perfect little girl!

Mieka with Arnia

Wordless Wednesday #33 - Gymnastics with Dad

5 Things-tag: Stuff I like about me

Cat at juggling act of life tagged me. Thanks, Cat, you gave me a headache! ;-) My photo’s are on 3 computers, and before that – photo’s of a previous life! It will have to do what I have on this computer now…

1. 5 pictures of myself that I really like (including listing 5 things of myself that I really like):I am including two of our wedding day in 2004. I love new beginnings and new lives!
I like the fact that I am able to adapt to new situations very easily. This was a great day in my life! (Check our slim versions! Smile)

Hiking in the Berg (Drakensberg Mountains) – this photo was taken in 2006. A great activity I only discovered in my 30s and Dries was a willing participant. I like the fact that I could be adventurous, again. We are planning a next excursion very soon!

My daughters are a big deal in my life. I like myself being a mom.

(Patrick Pretorius Photography)

The belly dance photo: I like the fact that I put myself out of my comfort zone, and I actually enjoyed it! (I was 8 months pregnant at the time.)

2. Tag others:

I am supposed to tag 5 bloggers today. I have tagged 8 fellow bloggers yesterday.

Whoever reads here, consider yourself tagged! ;-)

Mother's Day

My 2 beautiful daughters

It is wonderful to be a mother! Today we spent the day with family, and I felt grateful for the opportunity to have a mother whom I can be grateful for, and to be a mother!


Thank you, Mother, for now we know how difficult it has been to raise us! The sleepless nights, driving around with a baby at ten at night (which we did just now), the worries ... (long list)! We also know how extremely awe-inspiring and satisfying it is to see a little one grow up into becoming their own unique beings!

It is such a cliché! (Gag, gag!) Being a mother has made me gone soft and mushy and saying “CUTE!” to every baby I see. (Meaning it really! Really!) By becoming a mother, you also succumb to all the soppy! And loving it...

How we have fallen! (Smug smile!)

The whole of Johannesburg rocked up at the Sappi Sunday Picnic Concert at the Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens! It was a lovely sunny day, with picnic and music. The Girl Zone band entertained us with popular tunes. There were children everywhere... It was a perfect family outing. My own grandmother (of eighty more years) came with as well, and it was inspiring to see that she enjoyed it! You go, grandmother!

I am planning to also be “game” for everything when I am older! WE don’t ever have to be “old”! (Please remind me when I forget about this in future years, my daughters.)

Wordless Wednesday #4

The first birthday – the party!

No, we did not have the big party!
Mieka was looking at us in utter amazement with our party hats, and balloons and candles yesterday morning. We three had the fun, while she enjoyed her new toy.
But she still doesn’t know what it is all about. We will have the parties when she is bigger and understands the meaning of it.
Happy birthday, my baby! One year is a big deal to us!

The baby is a girl!

The gender of a baby is a very personal issue to a mother. I get extremely upset when somebody refers to Mieka as a boy! I dress her 99% of the time in pink. Does it not count as a good indicator to the sex of a baby?
“Is he a boy?”
“No!” (With clenched teeth)
If you are not sure, check the clothing!! Pink and bows and flowers and dresses usually means of the female kind. But do not get the gender wrong! You are insulting me!
I knew from the moment I became aware I was pregnant that she was a girl. It was the same with Arnia, the teen. I am extremely glad that she is a girl. I love having girls.
I have friends with boys. And it seems like a struggle to me. Especially when they start attending school. The mothers have to prod and push and be on their cases the whole time. Girls are easy. They do their own thing, and they enjoy doing it well!
I have been following Tertia’s blog as well. She has a twin boy and girl. And it seems the boy has a lot more growing up - moving up on the evolutionary scale (my personal opinion, sorry guys!) - to do than the girl. All mothers love their boys, and luckily some of them grow up to be wonderful contributing members to society. (I’m sure with a lot of help from their mothers. Smile)
But I vote for girls, and I am glad that there are two of them in my life!

Wordless Wednesday #3

Baby update

11 months, 2 weeks:
The baby does not sleep through the night. Not yet! But it is going much much better, thank you very much! We had a bad week last week when she was sick, but it is going very well again this week. Getting up twice at night is a bonus to me, and I have decided to not consider it a sleeping problem. I get up, put her on the breast, and sit-sleep for 20 minutes before I put her back in her bed again. If she complains, I take her to our bed until I can carry her back to her bed. Powerwoman got used to the interrupted sleep in any case… Sleeping sorted!

Mieka is still crab creeping, and we have to especially wash her left calve which is black every night. She uses the left leg to maneuver herself on her bottom in the direction where she wants to go. But she LOVES it when we hold her by her hands to walk. She has also found the stairs to climb while we are holding her hands. She manages to climb with alternative legs, not stopping on a step – even though her short little legs barely manages to lift up high enough. She is able to walk holding on to only one hand, but it is still going wobbly.

I can leave her for longer standing up near things, which she loves. While she is vertical, we struggle to get her to sit down again. She stiffens herself, and we have to bend her to get her to sit. Or, NOT!
She loves playing with containers and taking things out and putting it back in again.
She still gets excited when she sees her own reflection in mirrors or windows, and she claps her hands every time. (The Blonde reaction. Smile)

I can make out a “hello”, “tatta”, “ta” and “Mamma”.
And she laughs her head off when she “frightens” us. She makes sounds like The Exorcist! (Very funny to hear! Luckily I heard another baby over the weekend that is making the same sounds, or else I would have been worried…)
Mieka eats very well, and she loves to eat with us. I put the same food we have in her plate, and we try not to cringe while she dives into it. She manages to get some of it into her mouth, and the rest that lands on the floor is vacuumed up by the dog. That’s the only time the dog stops barking, while waiting underneath Mieka’s chair…

We are amazed at how much Mieka has become a little person with her own personality! I just hope that these words are able to show some of it!
And she gave all three of us a huge big open mouth kiss this morning when we asked for it! Nothing better than that!

(Photo: Mieka with her arms stretched out behind her head, while sleeping in the car seat)

MA stocktaking

(MA is mother in the Afrikaans language, but also an abbreviation for Magister Atrium)

Arnia has started with her exams – THAT time of the year already! The students have started even earlier. It made me think with a tinge of regret about my Master studies I had to give up on this year. I started with my MA in Information Science in 2006 already, but it went very slow. I am not the best student, especially when I am not bound to time-limits… Last year I struggled to complete it, because I was constantly tired during the pregnancy! I thought it would be a breeze when the baby was here, because then I could work while she was sleeping. Surprise! Mieka did not sleep the expected four-hourly breaks like her sister did 15 years back… We have not been sleeping since, although it is going much better than in the beginning!
When I read L K’s blog yesterday about the horse she had to let go, I came to the realization that we as parents all have to let go of something! I asked Dries as well, and he says it is the freedom of not having to plan - being routine less!
But we LOVE the little one, and don’t mind giving up some of our goals, or belly dancing, or horses, or hiking, or non-planning (Dries). We will do whatever (don’t think it will be studies for me) again and we will plan less again!
The students used to have a saying when a student got pregnant: “She got her MA-degree.” I got mine at 41!
Photo: Mieka last night with her doll. (I tried my utmost to get a photo of the first three teeth, but it’s impossible. Smile)

First tooth

Great joy! The first tooth has arrived at ten months! Mieka was taking a bite from Dries’s ice-cream when he said he felt something last night. It feels like an accomplishment, although it is something in baby’s development that we have no control over. Congratulations! Very cute! The first of firsts!
Photo: Mieka this morning, hitting the xylophone!

I have been checking Margot’s blog about her “successful” sleep training, but the inactivity makes me wonder? I hope she got it nailed, but I have a nasty suspicion that it is not as easy as that. Or else I am jealous as hell! I have had a couple of bad nights as well, with Mieka not falling off the breast as usual into a deep sleep, but battling when I put her into her bed. With hindsight, the blocked nose and most recent sleep battles most probably were linked to the first tooth.
The breast feeding is still going well, and while it is the easiest and best for the baby, I will continue. My goal is to reach the one year mark, and that is within two months already. When she is awake, it is a battle to keep her interest focused on drinking, because she wants to look everywhere, and starts to slide down to “walk”. I have to wear a necklace each day to keep her occupied. Sometimes she turns her head while she is still latched very tightly, and that is something I try to avoid! Ouch!
Petite Peu, the little bit of a dog, has been banned to stay outside. We have failed completely in our house training. She thinks she is supposed to pee and poop in the house. And she chooses the best spots, such as our bedroom carpet, or even a cushion on the floor, to make her mark! We have had enough! Two babies are too much to handle at this stage! I hope it does not signal potty training difficulties in the future?

Choosing happiness

I was helping to dish out cards at work yesterday at the entrance of our building. We noticed how people came in with a positive or negative energy. Now I know what the security guards experience every day. Poor guys! I definitely have more respect for what they do, and have decided that I will put on my happy face, no matter what! Some were huff-and-puff, most probable because they are late. Some were grumpy, and some were downright rude. “I don’t do cards!”
But the ones with the sunny dispositions and the friendly hellos all made it worthwhile. It’s a decision to be happy and friendly. I will definitely teach my daughter to make a decision for her own happiness, and not wait for the weather to influence how you are going to feel!

Blank brain

The bubble brain has turned into the blank brain. It feels as if I have nothing more to contribute to life, never mind a blog. I am glad Margot got her sleep, and I will definitely start sleep training when I am able to. Just not now… I am too tired!
Mieka is still waking many times during the night. I suspect it is not as many times as I think, because sometimes I just stagger into her room, and stagger back again without looking at a watch. I must start writing it down every time she wakes us up. Maybe it will not look as bad as it feels on paper?

Why go vertical when you can go horizontal?

Mieka has not started to crawl yet, and it seems she is not going to. All she wants to do at this stage is walk, with us having to walk with her. She also enjoys the walking ring, but her favourite way of moving around now is walking while being held. Whenever we put her down on her stomach, she freezes in the position, with her arms straight, and complains. She only stops when we pull her up again. How do you get a baby to crawl, when she wants to walk already? I can imagine years of extra maths classes because she has skipped the important crawling phase in her development… Why worry? We will deal with that later! Now we are the enablers in her horizontal quest! I think she is super intelligent, and does not need to go through all the phases.
(Says the proud mom wink-wink)

Day care woes

A working mother’s day is influenced by how well it is going at the day care she leaves her child. When something is out of whack, you feel on edge the whole day long. We heard that Mieka’s day care person has been suspended. Immediately the worst scenarios are played off in your head, especially since I told Dries on Monday about a news article about a woman in our neighbourhood who has been arrested for abuse. The article did not name the person. I phoned our day care centre, but they could not tell us anything, because there is still a disciplinary hanging. They hinted that it has something to do with smoking and assured me that my child was not involved. I hate it when Mieka’s world is being uprooted, because now they had to get somebody else in to look after the children. And I feel guilty that I can’t be there for her… The working mother’s guilt! It gets to me when things like this happen.
But Mieka was fine yesterday when Dries went to fetch her, and she and the dog had a lot of fun.
Photo: Dries with Mieka and Petite Peu

Awake stories

I should not have jinxed it, by saying that it is going better with the sleeping. Since then, we have been getting up more at night… (Smile) I’ll just zip it!
Mieka is getting busier and busier. Today we went in search of a jolly jumper. I am not sure if it is also bad for babies (such as the walking ring, which we are guilty of), but we are in desperate need for some free hands. Mieka is interested in E-V-E-R-Y-thing, but because she is not crawling yet, she complains and moans and throws herself in the direction she wants to go. When she is on your lap, she wiggles down, until her feet touches the ground. And then she wants you to walk her to where she wants to go. It is very cute, but it is also very exhausting. And we struggle to get time to do anything else. The jolly jumper is a real lifesaver and it was a joy to watch her today laughing and jump-swinging in it. She has not mastered the jumping yet, but it is worth it in time and free hands!

Breast feeding blues

I am still sad today about not expressing milk at work anymore for Mieka to drink at the day mother. But I was thinking about Arnia, my 16-year old daughter, who refused to take a bottle when she was 3 months of age. Ironically I had to stop breast feeding altogether, and she was forced to take a bottle after 36 hours. I also had to work, and she refused to take a bottle at the day mother.
Luckily Mieka is drinking from the bottle as well, and I am able to continue breast feeding her at night. It makes it far less traumatic, for me and her!
I now cherish our times together even more, because these past 9 months have gone by in a blink. I haven’t been complaining about the not sleeping anymore, because I have realized that one day I will think back to it as something very special. It is very special to sit with your baby, in the middle of the night, and she is drinking-sleeping on the breast, curled up in your arms. And strangely, the sleeping has been getting better and better. She goes to sleep now at 7 to 8 at night, wake up just after 11 (when we had just gone to bed), and then she wakes again at 3. I have to wake her at 6 in the mornings, and usually she wakes up by herself. We can handle this!

Expressions

I am a bit sad today. I have been contemplating to stop expressing milk at work, but yesterday it came to decision time. I have been struggling to remember every day to express at exactly the same time. If I did not do it on the minute, my milk takes long to “come in”. Yesterday my milk did not come for both times. So I had only a measly portion of milk to send to school today. It becomes very stressful. The day mother also told me that Mieka does not like drinking milk, and mostly prefer her food. So, from now, I will only be giving her the breast at night, and early before she goes to the crèche. Because I am sad already, I wonder what I am going to do at the end of the year when I am planning to stop breastfeeding altogether?

Baby-talk

A glorious weekend has gone by, and we spent it with friends and family.
On Saturday we went to the Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden where we enjoyed the beautiful landscaped and natural vegetation gardens. I was awed by the gardens still being kept in such a good condition. Is it because we are getting used to things falling apart? I hope not! Constand and Nelmarie’s son is 3 weeks younger than Mieka, and we had a wonderful time comparing notes and seeing them interacting with us and each other. Mieka did not like the grass, and complained when we tried to put her on it. Apparently she is a city girl already (Smile), and I made a mental note to remember to put in her sandals for the next time…
We saw Dries’ family yesterday, and again it was babies and children all over the place. It struck me that our conversations revolved around the children, and not much more. It seems that we are all in the baby bubble brain mode. But I don’t think any of us minded at all! Somewhere in the future we will have intellectual conversations again.
Photo of Mieka and CP in the Walter Sisulu National Botanical Garden