Wordless Wednesday #34 - Wearing a dress

The baby is a girl!

The gender of a baby is a very personal issue to a mother. I get extremely upset when somebody refers to Mieka as a boy! I dress her 99% of the time in pink. Does it not count as a good indicator to the sex of a baby?
“Is he a boy?”
“No!” (With clenched teeth)
If you are not sure, check the clothing!! Pink and bows and flowers and dresses usually means of the female kind. But do not get the gender wrong! You are insulting me!
I knew from the moment I became aware I was pregnant that she was a girl. It was the same with Arnia, the teen. I am extremely glad that she is a girl. I love having girls.
I have friends with boys. And it seems like a struggle to me. Especially when they start attending school. The mothers have to prod and push and be on their cases the whole time. Girls are easy. They do their own thing, and they enjoy doing it well!
I have been following Tertia’s blog as well. She has a twin boy and girl. And it seems the boy has a lot more growing up - moving up on the evolutionary scale (my personal opinion, sorry guys!) - to do than the girl. All mothers love their boys, and luckily some of them grow up to be wonderful contributing members to society. (I’m sure with a lot of help from their mothers. Smile)
But I vote for girls, and I am glad that there are two of them in my life!

Wordless Wednesday #3

Wordless Wednesday #2

First tooth

Great joy! The first tooth has arrived at ten months! Mieka was taking a bite from Dries’s ice-cream when he said he felt something last night. It feels like an accomplishment, although it is something in baby’s development that we have no control over. Congratulations! Very cute! The first of firsts!
Photo: Mieka this morning, hitting the xylophone!

I have been checking Margot’s blog about her “successful” sleep training, but the inactivity makes me wonder? I hope she got it nailed, but I have a nasty suspicion that it is not as easy as that. Or else I am jealous as hell! I have had a couple of bad nights as well, with Mieka not falling off the breast as usual into a deep sleep, but battling when I put her into her bed. With hindsight, the blocked nose and most recent sleep battles most probably were linked to the first tooth.
The breast feeding is still going well, and while it is the easiest and best for the baby, I will continue. My goal is to reach the one year mark, and that is within two months already. When she is awake, it is a battle to keep her interest focused on drinking, because she wants to look everywhere, and starts to slide down to “walk”. I have to wear a necklace each day to keep her occupied. Sometimes she turns her head while she is still latched very tightly, and that is something I try to avoid! Ouch!
Petite Peu, the little bit of a dog, has been banned to stay outside. We have failed completely in our house training. She thinks she is supposed to pee and poop in the house. And she chooses the best spots, such as our bedroom carpet, or even a cushion on the floor, to make her mark! We have had enough! Two babies are too much to handle at this stage! I hope it does not signal potty training difficulties in the future?

Blank brain

The bubble brain has turned into the blank brain. It feels as if I have nothing more to contribute to life, never mind a blog. I am glad Margot got her sleep, and I will definitely start sleep training when I am able to. Just not now… I am too tired!
Mieka is still waking many times during the night. I suspect it is not as many times as I think, because sometimes I just stagger into her room, and stagger back again without looking at a watch. I must start writing it down every time she wakes us up. Maybe it will not look as bad as it feels on paper?

Why go vertical when you can go horizontal?

Mieka has not started to crawl yet, and it seems she is not going to. All she wants to do at this stage is walk, with us having to walk with her. She also enjoys the walking ring, but her favourite way of moving around now is walking while being held. Whenever we put her down on her stomach, she freezes in the position, with her arms straight, and complains. She only stops when we pull her up again. How do you get a baby to crawl, when she wants to walk already? I can imagine years of extra maths classes because she has skipped the important crawling phase in her development… Why worry? We will deal with that later! Now we are the enablers in her horizontal quest! I think she is super intelligent, and does not need to go through all the phases.
(Says the proud mom wink-wink)

9 months

I am extremely fortunate to have a day each month to go to the clinic with Mieka. It is a whole working day that I can pretend I am a stay-at-home mom. Mieka is now 9 months, and she is 7.8kg. She is a bundle of joy. At this stage she enjoys sitting, and when we take her by the hands, she stands up, and you don’t get her to sit again. She claps her hands, and she waves with the fingers pointing to her own face. (I think it is the way she sees us waving at her). She screams or yells, and then laughs with shrieks when we pretend we get a fright. She is better at rolling over, and she also enjoys it when I pretend that it is something extraordinary that she is doing. When she sees herself in a mirror, or her reflection in the stove or windows, she starts clapping or waving. We joke and say she is a real blonde, because she has such a positive reaction on her own reflection! I would have loved to have more of these little things each day…
Photo by Karin D'Orville

Petite Peu

We found our little Miniature Pinscher in a pet shop today. Because we were promised a dog of this breed, we got used to the idea. When we saw her in the pet shop, it did not take long for Arnia to convince Dries to buy it for us. Afterwards in the car he said he is now totally overpowered by females, and there is too much estrogen. He should have taken a male. Petite Peu (“little bit”) is very cute, and it looks as if she is going to be very cheeky. She and Mieka are both a bit apprehensive about each other. She starts shaking when Mieka screams (out of delight) at her. But when she barks, Mieka starts crying. It is going to be an interesting relationship…

Catching up

Sunday evening again and the weekend is gone. Most of our time is spend with the family, and especially with Mieka. We miss Mieka during the week, because we only get to spend the time with her in the evenings. That is the time when she is not at her best. And come the weekend, we try to catch up. During the day Mieka is more talkative and engaging. We miss out on quite a lot of her growing up. That’s why we do not like dropping her off to stay with my parents, or our friends. We miss her too much… The weekends are the best for catching up with our baby!

Baby milestones

It is strange how we as mothers fall into the trap of comparing our babies and their milestones. I remember a time I told a friend that I can’t understand why we compare, because we are all different unique human beings. But we find ourselves doing the same. A week ago Dries came home and told me of a friend’s baby boy who is three weeks younger, and he is crawling already. We were immediately concerned because Mieka complains when we put her on her stomach, and she is not rolling over as yet. The baby books say she is supposed to be turning already at 8 months. Now we are doing extra exercises each night with her… (Smile)
But I marvel at the way we get excited about the smallest little things Mieka does. She started to wave a week ago, and now she is clapping hands. Great joy and wonder! A friend of us have send us a sms last night saying that her baby got his first tooth, and we all got excited about it. Why can’t we be as excited and in awe about everything in life? I think we can, and it is as easy as making the decision!

Working mother's guilt

Yesterday afternoon I was trying to avoid getting stuck in the traffic in Auckland Park where I work, and the more I tried to avoid the long queues, the longer the queues got in the side streets. I ended up in Brixton, even more stuck. It is all these road works going on everywhere, and some roads are closed and some narrowed to one lane only. I quickly googled it just now , and apparently it is for the bus rapid transit (BRT) system, intended for the 2010 FIFA World Cup. The road works have been going on for months now, and I presume it is going to get worse until the Word Cup. My only goal in the afternoons is to get to the baby as quickly as possible. It is terrible to leave her there from half past six in the mornings until quarter past four in the afternoons. It adds up to nearly ten hours, more hours than I spend at work during a day. Aargh! And then we have about five hours of her each night before she goes to sleep. We sometimes have more with the not sleeping, and in that I can find a positive outlook on the sleeping problem. (Smile) The hours that I am not with her, contribute to my guilt as a working mother. But I know, millions of women have to cope with the same thing…

Brain bubble

No, it is not even brain fog or brain smog. I have totally lost my marbles with the baby, or maybe we surrender it all to them? I am losing car keys and cards, and having to go back and do things again. I forget to lock the garage doors, and this morning it was the second time that I nearly drove over Dries while reversing out of the garage. He is so thoughtful to open up for me, and then I just start driving immediately. Sorry, Dries! But most of the time I just find myself trapped in space, and feeling as if time is speeding by, and I am left behind. I am in “mommy world”, with the outside world a blur of activities and events that does not feel as if it is real.
The not sleeping is also contributing to the feeling of being trapped in a bubble.
Last night we struggled to put Mieka down. At one stage after ten I and Dries were passed out on the bed, with her in between us, trying to poke our noses and eyes. I just have a vague recollection of getting up during the night, and after four she was back with us in bed. Tati did not do its job at all. This morning Mieka was all smiles, and waving the arms and legs, happy to start the day. And it keeps me going – thinking of her smiles the whole day long…

Tati

Not much luck as yet with the Tati, the self soothing object from Babysense, but it was so sweet to see the doll in her arms during the night. Mieka was crying and waving the arms, with the doll lodged in her arms while she was vigorously complaining, oblivious to the fact. Dries put it in her arms during the night. I did not think of that, but I did try to keep it close while she was breast feeding. I thought it was also a good idea, because the arms are all over the place, touching my clothes and face. The book “Sleep sense”, by Megan Faure and Ann Richardson: Metz Press 2007, which is on loan from a good friend, says you should persevere… I am hopeful!

Sleep... NOT!

I got 5 hours of sleep on Friday night, while Dries got up for Mieka. It did me the world of good. I felt refreshed, after months of getting up at night. Although I also woke up when she cried, I got to stay in bed, and it made all the difference. Dries usually complains that he is not getting sleep, but there is a difference between getting up and just turning and going to sleep again…

Ok, and it’s a week later, and every night has had a sleep story of its own. I am tired. All that keeps me going is saying “this too will pass”, one of the sayings of one of my favourite authors Neale Donald Walsch.
I know I am not doing it “right”, but in the middle of the night you do ANYTHING to get to go back to sleep as quickly as possible. Also, with my previous child I was not allowed to keep her in my arms, and I still feel guilty for the times I had to let her cry. The X was so jealous of my time with her, and now I just think how stupid I have been to allow him get away with his bad behaviour. But you do anything for peace… (But I must admit that she was sleeping from six to six from the age of two months old).
From the beginning I decided I would not let Mieka cry… I give her the breast because it calms her almost immediately, and she goes to sleep while drinking also almost immediately. Dries has his own way of getting to sleep, he sits on an exercise ball with Mieka in his arms until she falls asleep. It works! (Smile, although it is a very strange sight to see a large man jumping up and down on a ball, with a small baby in the arms). But, I am extremely grateful that I have a wonderful husband that helps me. He sometimes just gets up and brings Mieka to me, or tries to calm her himself.
I am reading about the soothers you should be using, such as a teddy or a blanket or a dummy, which baby can use to help them to go to sleep on their own. Up to now I have tried to put a teddy into Mieka’s arms, but she gets even more upset with the whole situation, and just screams louder. Carina, a friend of mine gave me a Tati (Babysense) on Friday, and I am going to try my utmost to get Mieka to sleep with it. A Tati is “self-soothing object, made as part of a sustainable social campaign, from the off cuts of other products, lessening waste”, quoted from the box. I love the fact that “Tati means father in many languages and Tati symbolizes the security Dads provide, which may be lacking for many babies worldwide.”
Mieka was 8 months on Friday, and she is supposed to be sleeping through the night. She wakes us three to four times after she goes to sleep at nine (hopefully), and before we have to get up at five again the next morning. That’s why we are in desperate need of sleep, and now I am holding thumbs that the Tati is going to do the trick…

Expression and lactations

I am still breastfeeding at seven and a half months. Great! I think so! I think so?
From the beginning I said I would see for how long I could carry on. Arnia (the 16-year old) did not want anything to do with a bottle while she was breastfeeding, and at 4 months I had to put her on bottle only. That was extremely traumatic (for me mostly) at the time.
When I went back to work in May this year (2009), I took my breast pump with me, and closed my studio twice during the day to express milk. I am still doing it, and sending two bottles with Mieka to the daycare.
(One of my biggest fears still is that I will walk out of my studio with my boobs still hanging out.)
The rest of the time she is still breastfeeding – at night, during the night (red eye syndrome for me), and in the mornings before I drop her off at daycare.
At seven months I am still trying to get used to the breastfeeding thing. In the beginning it felt like she was hanging on my breasts 24/7. I could not do anything else. And it was extremely sore. They tell you it is not supposed to be sore, because you are doing something wrong. Like latching… When I was hospital, I tried to ask for somebody to help me with the latching, but nobody ever pitched up. Is it worth it to complain now? And when I complained to the doctor that she latches very strongly, and I can’t get her off, he just shrugged and said that I must time her… Yeah, right!
Luckily we are past the extremely trying first few weeks. Dries, my husband, said he was not used to seeing boobs all the time. And he did not say it as if it was a good thing, or a treat to him.
And my boobs are still not my boobs. I miss my B-boobies which could fit into any top. I hope I hope I get them back.
I still don’t know when I am going to stop. When Mieka is one years, or two years? It is stated on the Purity baby food jars that it is good to continue breastfeeding until they are two years of age. (A very long time…)
The other thing that is sometimes very trying is when you are expressing at work, and the milk does not “come in”, or you don’t get the letdown reflex. I give myself 15 minutes in the morning, and again in the afternoon. Maybe it is stress, but sometimes I can sit with the electric pump running, and nothing is happening. I have also noticed that when I do not stick to a precise time-frame with regards to the expression of the milk, I do not get the desired amount. Mostly I do not get more than 100ml of milk at a time. I know it is supposed to be more, but I have decided that it is still better to give that, than nothing at all.
But all in all, it is a wonderful feeling to have the little one drinking from you. They are so completely dependent, and there is nothing that makes her go to sleep as putting her on the breast. Maybe that is why I am still doing the nightly rounds?
I have asked Dries to stand in for me. We are going to arm him with bottles tonight, and I am going to SLEEP! He always says that he is also not sleeping, but I bet you that it is much better to stay just where you are, than to get up every hour, or on a two-hourly basis. I can’t wait to hit the cushion tonight!

Photo by Patrick Pretorius.