We are in the thick of Grade 5 exams. Miss Fine tells me each day that she did not prepare enough, and that she does not feel good about the upcoming papers. We try to help her as much as possible, but ultimately she is the one who needs to get the material into her head...
We are still trying to find the best way to learn, and help her learn. To find that perfect balance of help, but also letting her take over her studies independently. The underlying anxiety also doesn't help, but the best we can do for it is to prepare enough. (Although, there is never an enough for the highly strung...)
It's great to hear that we as moms are doing a great job! That working moms are super human! That we are amazing and that we as moms have tremendous value! We sometimes forget it in the thick of things, trying to get the little one to wear that extra jacket to school... Each and every day! Blah!
I was extremely fortunate to be able to attend Kids Emporium Bloggers Breakfast at Olives and Plates this past Saturday. Lauren and her team spoilt us and gave us so much soul food as well!
As far as I am concerned, it doesn't matter to me if you are a SAHM, WAHM or a FTWM, we are all "working moms"! There are ways to deal with working moms guilt, after all!
Janice Windt from Working Mothers Expo spoke to us about the value we attach to the things we do and sometimes that can be too much! We want to believe that the more we do, the more value we have! We want to believe that the time we spent will have intrinsic value regardless of what we do. But it can be too many things that we say yes to! It can be overwhelming! One of the things that working mothers struggles the most with, is time management!
Working Mothers Expo ran a recent survey:
They asked hundreds of working moms: “What is your biggest challenge?” Without any leading information, 84% answered "Time Management".
In another survey, which had over 1,000 working moms respond, they found that:
74% of us wake up before sunrise
21% of us never make our beds in the morning
1 in 3 of us spend 9 or more hours at work, our day job, every day!
55% of working moms only get 5-6 hours sleep on a weeknight
A third of us check our work email before we even get out of bed in the morning
56% of us never exercise
65% or moms are somewhat or very likely to swear at something in the morning – no judgement here!
Janice Windt also touched on the fact that we might still be craving the approval of our parents? It is necessary to figure out what still serves us, and to let go of the why? We are in a specific time-frame/season in our lives! We are doing it for our kids (or NOT!). We can let go of the exterior motives! We are in our own season! We can decide our intrinsic value and our intrinsic purpose!
We can reap the benefits of our own perspectives!
Janice reminds us that balance does not exist! We need the stress and the challenge to do what we do and pursue our goals. But we also need to de-stress to be able to handle the stress!
Janice uses the following tools to help her cope:
- Mindjet Mind Managerto organise her life!
- Audible to listen to books while on her way.
- She also tries to go hands-free every once in a while (cellphone limits!) (Check out Hands-free Mama blog)
Working Mothers Expo has created a two-hour Time-Management Make-Over workshop.
Sign up here to be notified: Time-Management Make-over
The new Cresta Family Room facility is a place I want to keep to myself. But... It would be selfish, and Little Miss won't be needing it that much any more. (I wish there was such a facility when she was a baby and a toddler.)
The Cresta Family Room is the oasis all parents want and need while they are shopping. A safe free haven for 45 minutes available to all to go to when you need to.
- There will be a concierge looking after the facility to only let parents with children through.
You are able to:
- Change the diaper
- Heat up food or a bottle
- Breastfeeding
- Playing
- Resting
- Family toilet (which won't be inaccessible because of workers or selfish adults using it!). This one we will also still make use of!
- Breathing space for the little ones (AND big ones!) This too!
- Cool "prize" to the little ones after a shopping trip!
I was invited to the launch of the Cresta Family Room, but that's not why I am sharing it here. I think it is my duty to notify all parents about something that should be in all shopping malls.
Cresta Family Room launch
Play area at Cresta Family Room
Virginia Bester, General Manager of Cresta Shopping Centre
Nikki Bush, the parenting expert, had a few good pointers (Commandments) when taking children to a shopping mall:
Nikki Bush about smart shopping as a parent
(OR: Parenting on the run)
1. Avoid rush hour if possible.
2. Make shopping an outing after nap time. Children need to have outings. Make shopping an outing!
3. Please work around your children's routine.
4. Be prepared like McGyver. Never take a hungry child shopping. Let child eat before taking him to a restaurant.
5. Keep refreshments on hand.
6. Hunt in pairs - mum, partner, etc - to help with watching, carrying, distraction.
7. Have a plan when shopping. Need to be strategic! Include children in planning. Get them to Memorize when 7 or 8. What shops did we visit? (Use their grey matter)
8. Remember to take a break. Just be with family.
9. Set rules/boundaries/scene before reaching the Shopping Centre - scenario planning as CEO of family. Predictability which gives security. Rewards that can dangle before kids. Go to pet shops, play area, toy store. Do not have to buy. Window shopping is fun! Need to learn to wait. Bubble gum machine also fine.
10. Need to be the boss of the show! Parents feeling stressed, guilty but not building emotional intelligence. Use your tone of voice! Calm. Assertive. Lower your voice! Keep your sanity and keep it secure! Stranger danger - opportunity to teach children. Do not play hide and seek!
According to Nikki Bush it is entirely possible to have quality time with children while you are "a parent on the run".
She inspired me to look at my shopping experiences with Little Miss in a different light! It is not always easier when they are bigger, because they want to have a say! About every-thing!
(Or is just us?)
Check out the Family Room at the Food and Entertainment Court at Cresta. I hope the signage will be up, but it is into the same passage as the general toilets. (You will know when you find it!)
The ongoing tragedy of Aleppo and so many refugees worldwide struggling over this Christmas period get to me. As a mother it's horrifying watching the videos and clips on social media! Watching a boy cry for his dad that was just killed... I can't!! I am thinking about the children and how it must be being stuck in situations like that!
I am sure we have no idea!!
I am trying to tell Little Miss to not always recount her half empty glass of woe! She's got nothing to complain about! I try telling her about the situation the children - with their parents - find themselves in, but I can see that she does not really understand. I will also not complain anymore about my holiday blues after we have had our holiday break already! How utterly selfish of us!
The Working Mothers Expo finally came around this past weekend. We went to the Sandton Convention Centre on Saturday afternoon. I plan to take a day (at least) next time (in May!) to pamper and experience more than we could in an afternoon
I listened to two speakers, Janice Windt, the MD of Working Mothers Expo, and Shaney from You Baby and I.
Janice Windt
Janice Windt shared her parenting and career journey up until The Working Mothers Expo. She is already planning the next Working Mothers Expo for next year as well.
A great life hack from her: Life hack - take 5 min each day to write down priorities!
Shan Vijendranath
Shan is a very successful blogger who stressed the importance of a social media strategy:
Her tips for a social media strategy include the following points:
1. Identify clear goals
2. Know your target market
3. Listen and compare, but stay authentic
4. Pick the right platforms
5. Build your brand
6. Mix it up by keeping up with Industry Trends
7. Engage your audience
8. Attract potential clients
9. Listen to your analytics
10. Plan and schedule
Little Miss loved the Bounce Inc area, and could not get enough! There were lots for her to do!
But next time I will definitely take a day to listen to more speakers, to take my time through the exhibitors, and to get a pamper in! (And maybe leave the rest of the family at home...)
I finally found the Mooncup (menstrual cup) at the Expo, but that warrants its own post.
Disclaimer: We got a family ticket for one day at the Expo.
67% of Working Mothers Unable to Cope with the Demands on their Time
Graphic by Essentials
The Working Mothers Expo had research done in partnership with MiWayLife about the working mother:
1. 67% of working mothers spend half their day or more unable to cope with the demands on their time. - That's true!
2. One in three spend nine or more hours at work every day. - I work my eight and half hours, nothing more! When I leave the office, I am finished!
3. 56% never take the time to exercise. - That's me! But I slot it down to laziness! (Guilt always!)
4. A third check their work email before they even get out of bed in the morning. - No! I don't have the time before I get to the office!
5. On average, most working moms believe that their friends are better mothers than they are. - No, I think we all do the juggle, and I love catching up with my friends to hear how they are doing it!
Janice Windt, the Managing Director of the Working Mothers Expo, had similar experiences. “I started speaking to other working mothers and realised that many of them were struggling as much as I was. Many of them were making decisions that they regretted. They were trying hard to cope and putting on a brave face. My heart started to break for these women - for all of us.”
The honesty of these conversations, combined with requests from other working mothers, lead Janice to found the Working Mothers Expo in order to create an opportunity for working mothers to connect with each-other and get all the help, support and inspiration they need in order to Make. Life. Work.
The Working Mothers Expo, in partnership with MiWayLife, brings together everything working mothers need under one roof on 4-6 November 2016 at the Sandton Convention Centre.
There will be world class products, services and a Speakers' Corner. (I can't wait for this! Check out the line-up: Speakers)
There will also be great entertainment for the kids!
Dads / partners get in FREE with a group / family ticket.
Tickets are available at Computicket.
#THEJUGGLEISREAL
WIN
One reader of this blog can win a set of tickets to The Working Mothers Expo this weekend.
Please comment and tell me why you agree with some of the Research by The Working Mothers Expo and MiWayLife?
I will draw a winner via Random.org at 12 pm on Wednesday afternoon.
Only open to a Gauteng reader able to come to The Working Mothers Expo on their own travel expenses.
The Working Mothers Expo is around the corner. Janice Windt, the Founder and Managing Director behind the Expo, answered a few personal questions. I wanted to know more about her work-life, as well as how a normal day in her household looks like.
Janice Windt:
My normal day starts at about 4am, when I wake up to answer emails before hundreds more emails and calls start coming in again at 8am ;) My husband takes the boys to school so that I can start my proper work day at 07h30 and work until 1pm when I fetch the boys from school. Afternoons are all about them, which is such a privilege. I try keep evenings for my husband and I and the result is that I sleep a lot less than I used to! Even our accountants are worried about the hours I keep! So yes, this is my only job.
I worked at an Investment Bank for ten years and left corporate in February 2015 to start the Working Mothers Expo. It’s taken 18 months to get to this point and we are VERY excited to see what the response to our first event will be. Our goal is to make the lives of working mothers easier by bringing together everything working mothers need under one roof. Working mothers need to realise that they are not alone, get access to the help and inspiration they need and have a moment that is, quite simply, all about them.
The idea for the Working Mothers Expo evolved out of the challenges I personally experienced as a working mom and also from the experiences I was privileged enough to learn about when I interviewed more than one hundred women from seventeen countries around the world for my blog. As I started speaking to other working mothers I’ve realised that many of us struggle with similar things. It’s a real privilege to be able to reach thousands of working mothers through the avenue of the Working Mothers Expo. I’m very grateful.
The Working Mothers Expo, in partnership with MiWayLife, brings together everything working mothers need under one roof.
It will be on from 4-6 November 2016 at the Sandton Convention Centre. With world class products, services and speakers and great entertainment for your kids, this is an event not to be missed.
Tickets available at Computicket.
It's September, and it's a great new season to start afresh with relationships.
Hubby and I do not even find the time for date nights anymore...
Checking my calender right away! Even though the budget is tight, we can still make a plan?
We know what it's really like. When you have young kids, a job to hold down and a house to run, it's not easy to find the time or energy to love your man...
But the truth is that we believe the most important thing you can do for your kids is love your man. And we mean LOVE. We mean look up to him, build him up in your children's eyes and let them see love modeled in your relationship. They will not see it anywhere else. They are more likely to experience the exact opposite in the world, their friends' homes and lives, everywhere really.
Love is hard to find and hard work to keep... so let's get started.
Ten Ways To Love Your Man 1) Tell him he is awesome...
The Working Mothers Expo, in partnership with MiWayLife, brings together everything working mothers need under one roof. It will be from 4-6 November 2016 at the Sandton Convention Centre.
The MCs are Elana Afrika and Claire Mawisa.
The Working Mothers Expo Tickets are available at Computicket now!
Disclaimer: I will be getting tickets to attend The Working Mothers Expo in November.
Being a working mother and juggling the rat race of city life are difficult, and I don't think we can have it all!
I am giving myself some grace as I am getting older and "wiser" (sic! Laughing at myself here!)
I try my best to make the moments count, and I do not beat myself up when I "fail"! I try harder the next time!
But there are definitely some ideas to consider to make moments count! Janice Windt, the managing director of The Working Mothers Expo, suggests 5 ways to make every moment count as a working mother.
1) Prioritise.
What is most important to you? Do more of that and less of everything else...
2) Clear your diary.
Just say no. Be on time for the kids. (It definitely goes with priorities and making your children the number 1 priority!)
3) Pause to breathe.
Do the things that makes you happy, like reading, long baths or time-outs! Whatever!
4) Sing.
The advice is to sing, even though you are not very good at it! My Little Miss does not appreciate my singing at all, and usually asks me to stop. But maybe it will work for you? ;-)
5)Sign up for the Working Mothers Expo VIP Waiting List and book your diaries for the Working Mothers Expo, brought to you in partnership with MiWay Life, bringing together everything a working mother needs under one roof at the Sandton Convention Centre.
How do you make the moments count as a working mother?
The Working Mothers Expo, brought to you in partnership with MiWay Life, brings together everything a working mother needs under one roof on 4-6 November at the Sandton Convention Centre. Take a step back from your hectic schedule, make some time to reflect, hear an inspiring speaker, indulge in some retail therapy and connect with other working mothers. We would like to create some dedicated time in your schedule that is all about you.
The Working Mother's Expo shared the output of a recent survey. A stunning number of women, over 1200, responded to the survey, sharing their words of wisdom.The ebook is divided in sections of Courage, Perspective, Work Life Integration, We're in this together, On Happiness, Self Care, When the going gets tough, Perfection, On Motherhood. All with beautiful photos of real moms who are doing it day-by-day!
This helps for a bit of Monday motivation when the Monday feels a bit blue!
As Janice Windt, MD of the Working Mothers Expo says “The truth is that we’re all in this together. The challenges we face are not unique. No matter the colour of our skin, our marital status or job description, working motherhood is a challenge. If you find it hard, trust me, you are not alone. That’s why we are bringing everything working mothers need together under one roof at the Sandton Convention Centre in November - to help working moms make life work.”
Signing up to be reminded of the Expo in November is for free!
We were at the MamaMagic Baby Expo at the TicketPro Dome on the last day, on Sunday. It was packed! I'm sure that the expectant parents and mommies with small kids saw a lot of goodies that they NEEDED after the Expo. (And that they did not know of beforehand!)
We went in search of a bunk-bed contraption, with a bed on top and the desk below. We found a stall, and got the flyer! Little Miss would love to have it in her small bedroom! (Now we can start saving!)
We attended the Barney Show with Little Miss. It is probably our last time that we did something like this with her. She got a bit bored, but she still took a Barney ball along, and she was very impressed that Barney kicked her ball around at the meet-and-greet!
Here are a few of my Snaps (karentoittoit) from the Expo.
Waiting in line for the Barney Show at MamaMagic
A photo op with Barney!
Squeal! Barney's got her Barney ball
The SPCA sold dog balloons which was a big favourite
Little Miss got a gift pack with Snowflake's Barney cupcakes. She wanted to make it immediately when we got home.
Dad was a real STAR (he gets ALL my points!!!) and helped her making a batch!
Snowflake's Barney cupcakes
The cupcakes are flop proof and they are really Yummy!
My advice for attending one of these Expos: Decide before the time what you need to not get distracted by all the gadgets and goods!
MamaMagic, The Baby Expo, will run for the 12th year at the TicketPro Dome in Johannesburg!
It will be on from 12 - 15 May.
If you are pregnant or a parent of little ones, this is always a place where you will get the latest advice and gadgets on all things baby and children! Your little ones will also be entertained, which make it a great outing for the whole family!
What to expect at this year's MamaMagic?
- Huggies are starting with a new feature: They will provide parents with free informative sessions at the Huggies Expert’s Lounge. Parents will also be able to walk away with fantastic goodie bags!
"Huggies has lined up notable specialists such as Sister Lynn Bluff, who will enlighten parents on the significance of skin-to-skin and the “golden hour,” dietician Linda Drummond will shed light on what optimal nutrition for babies and toddlers, entails giving parents tips on practical healthy nutrition implementation and Cozette Laubser from BabyGym Institute International, will demonstrate the importance of baby’s physical development, which in turn results in healthy brain development."
- The BeSafe Car Safety Centre will provide valuable insight into how to handle a carjacking with a child.
- Huggies Nappy Pants and Lego Duplo are providing two age-appropriate play areas to keep the kids entertained.
- The Pampers Baby on Board competition that will see one lucky winner walk away with a comprehensive birthing and parenting starter pack valued over R 147 000!
- There will be designated breast feeding rooms. (Thumbs up from me!) Pampers Premium Care will also provide two fully stocked and spacious nappy change rooms!
- Barney will be on stage four times daily! (Although the tickets to the Barney shows are included in the Expo sales, they should be booked through Computicket to secure a seat!)
- Heart to Heart Workshop tickets can also be bought where parents will get the value of over R1000 worth of expert advice and goodies when they purchase a ticket of R495 at the Expo!
Two readers of this blog can each win VIP tickets!
The giveaway is 2 x double tickets to MM and the Barney show:
Each tickets admits one adult and two kids (please provide their ages).
Tickets/Entrance to the Barney shows (which will be held at 10, 12, 2 and 4).
Meet and Greet with Barney (these are held daily after the 4pm show).
Barney goodie bag for the kids.
Please comment on this blog post and tell me the ages of your kids?
Only eligible for people able to get to the Expo on any day from 12 to 15 May at the TicketPro Dome in Johannesburg.
This competition will run for one day only, and I will announce the winners on Wednesday 12 May 2016 at 12pm tomorrow afternoon!
Good luck!
Updated: Congratulations to Shaaista and Keshnie who have won the tickets!
Please send me your email addresses and what time-slot would suit you best for the meet and greet with Barney?
Thursday 12 May after the 4pm show Friday 13 May after the 4pm show Saturday 14 May after the 2pm show Sunday 15 May after the 12pm show
The ultimate Holy Grail for mothers. Just a bit of me time!
Coffee in a coffee shop usually does the trick for me, but I am always eager to learn about more ways...
Guest post by Janice Windt, MD of the Working Mothers Expo:
Somewhere in the far reaches of my memory I can recall the concept of Me time: A moment that involved me, a book and a cup of chamomile tea on the two-seater couch that just fitted in my tiny first apartment... A breeze would gently blow the sweet sound of children’s voices in through the open window. I would lie peacefully, my knees over the couch armrest, dreaming of the day when I would be married with children of my own… Today, Me time is the three minutes I get on the loo to check Facebook before one of my sons bursts through the door to see what I am up to. It’s my drive to work – a luxury many stay-at-home mums would give anything to have – even once a week. Me time is the thirty minutes I get here and there when I just leave everything – dishes, dirty clothes, toys strewn into every nook and cranny. Sometimes I just look at it all and say “no, not right now” and I escape to my writing. Sometimes, me time is a coffee, uninterrupted, during work hours. That is a dream too – I know that and I appreciate every creamy sip. So, what can you do, amidst the chaos that is your schedule, to create more Me time in your day? We have some suggestions for you below but we would really love to hear yours in the comments… because the truth is that we are all in this together:
I am so sorry that I did not buy the Bratz doll when you were young!
(You wanted it, because your friends had one!) I don't know what I was thinking, but it's not the same I am thinking right now!
I already bought a Bratz Cloe for Little Miss, and the other day I got a Bratz Jade delivered! (I was way more excited than Little Miss!)
They are super cute! Why did I think 15 years back they were not pretty?
It's just one of the many parenting mistakes I now know that I have made with the eldest!
There are so many!
I am sorry for everything that I did wrong with you!
I did it with the best of intentions. (And with the knowledge I had at the time.)
The Littlest is getting to grow up with a lot less of "parenting" I did with you.
(But as we go along we are definitely saying we are doing it wrong now as well.)
Unfortunately we can't do it over!
I heard the surprise in your voice when you reminded me that I did not want to buy you the doll... I can only say sorry!
This very practical guide has been compiled by local moms from each of the 20 cities.
Guess who contributed to the South African part! This Mom, Karen du Toit!
I have actually forgotten about, but it finally saw the light of day! I was glad to see that the suggestions are still valid, and I have Maropeng included in the list!
The following cities are included: London, Frankfurt, Rome, Zurich, Paris, Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago, New York, Washington DC, Toronto, Mumbai, Delhi, Shanghai, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Hong Kong, Wellington, Dubai and of course, Johannesburg!
- This is a very practical travel guide full of doable recommendations and tips from moms living in the cities!
- It is a great way to introduce your kids to the cities
- It includes tourist favourites in the cities included!
I have been talking to Little Miss about us loving her unconditionally! That there is nothing that she could do that would make us stop loving her!
She has been enjoying it quite a bit, because each time she comes up with other scenarios. And we've even covered "murder". I told her that I would be very disappointed, and that I would probably scold her, but that I would never stop loving her! And that I would come to visit her in prison...
These discussions were sparked by blog posts I read from The Leaky Boob clan whose eldest daughters were sexually abused. The perpetrator told them that they were bad and that their mom and dad would not love them any more if they knew the truth!
I would want Little Miss to always come to us with her problems!
Little Miss also told me that she loves us no matter what. Even if somebody told her not to loves us any more. But Dad is her first Bestie and I am her second Bestie! (Even though he is the strict parent, she says!)
I am talking about all the instances in my life I have let doctors and nurses and health practitioners made me feel like an inferior mother.
- The time I took my first-born to the doctor and her ear-drum burst in the doctor’s waiting rooms. And there was puss overflowing, and he asked why we did not clean it up… WTB! (What The Baby!)! It just happened, doctor, and we were trying to do it with the tissues that we had available!
- The time I was in the doctor’s waiting room and I had to change a poo nappy. When I came out, the doctor had already come to call our name, and she had an attitude! WTB! What would she have done if I have left the nappy? (Why did I not tell her straight?)
- The time I went to the clinic to ask about nappy rash. Little Missy got a terrible nappy rash which burnt immediately! The nurse was telling me that I left the nappy on too long, with a bit of disgust in her voice…. WTB! Of course not! And I was there to get a solution to the problem! (Which I did not get there, and we figured out it was the grapes I was eating at the time!)
- The time I went to the clinic and was told in a disparaging manner that I have already used up ten visits, and that I can’t get the services for free. WTB! In the first place I was not aware that I was limited to 10 visits, and I was more than prepared to pay... (But that was the last that that clinic saw me!)
- The time I mentioned to the paediatrician that I was still breastfeeding at one year, and it was met with an indifferent “It’s not that important anymore!” WTB! I lost my trust in that doctor immediately!
- The time I tried to wean my four month old first-born from the breast to take a bottle during the day. I had to go back to work. Health-care professionals did not believe me, and to this day think they will be able to help when a baby does not want to take a bottle. They tried, and everybody tried! Nothing worked! Not different bottles, teats, people holding her… Nothing! WTB! There is nothing you can do to force a baby to take a bottle when they prefer breastfeeding! (I had to go cold turkey with mine before she accepted a bottle! )
The other day I was talking to other moms, and I heard how they also felt inferior when they took a different colour nappy to the clinic or doctor!
We are taking our children to the doctor/clinic because we are good moms who are worried about our children, and we want to do the best for them. Making us feel inferior does not help. If we were not good moms, we would not have taken the effort or paid the exorbitant rates to see a health professional!
Next time I will not let them belittle me! (I wish I had the verbal proficiency to recognize and immediately shoot it off my cuff!)
Next time, definitely!
What have a doctor said to you that made you feel like a bad mom?
I have a new focus on my Vision Board. The New Mac Notebook was revealed last night, and I had the good fortune to hold it in my hands.
New MacBook reveal at the iStore last night
It's super thin 13.1 mm, very light 0.9 kg and has a 12-inch retina display!
It's got stunning specs, but I was amazed at how light and shiny it is. There is an option between dove grey, silver or gold colours. (The gold one gets my vote!)
I can picture myself taking this everywhere. As you all know that I LOVE my iPad, and that I take it everywhere with me, but there are still some things you can't do with an iPad.
The new Mac Notebook will definitely be great to have to be able slip in my handbag, and take it along as well as it apparently also got super long battery life!
The Reveal Film gives a better idea of how beautiful it is, but I suggest you go to the nearest iStore this weekend to hold one in your hands!
As I know that I have a less than zero chance to get one now - the Dutwats-family is super broke, AND we are trying to save for that upcoming US tour - I can still drool over it!
It's first on my Vision Board of gadgets that I want!
It will be my gift to myself! (Promise!)
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For Mother's Day on Sunday I am looking forward to spend the weekend with my family. On Sunday we will be spending it with my parents and an aunt who's also been a second mother to me and to the daughters, at a restaurant. The ultimate treat for us as mothers!
I am grateful for the great mother that I have, and grateful being a mother to two daughters who are bringing me so much joy!
(We will be missing The Student who won't be able to make it for the weekend!)
What are your plans for Mother's Day, and what do you want as Mother's Day gift?
Disclaimer: No, I was not given a new MacBook! (*crying*) Or asked to write anything, or got anything for writing this!
I am always inspired by mothers and how they are juggling their lives with kids and work and everything else. It's not easy, and sometimes s*t hits the fan, and we don't always see the light at the end of the tunnel.
15 years back I was going through an awful divorce, being a single mom to a Grade 1 girl and trying to keep everything together during the legal proceedings. At that stage I felt overwhelmed and did not know how we would get unscathed through it all.
But here we are! Happy, fat and going on with our lives with new beginnings and new challenges! And that life seems like just a nightmare that happened to somebody else in a different timeline...
That's why I am sharing the story of Erika who is also a mom who had to go through a difficult custody battle for her children. She exhausted all her funds in the custody battle, and now she is not able to afford the final stretch for her doctoral degree. She has reached out to me on the MomAgain@40 Facebook page.
Erika, hats off to you! I love the fact that you call yourself "Dr Erika" already!
My name is Erika, and I am a mother of two amazing girls, a teacher, a coach, and a doctoral candidate. It is a lot to be at one time, but I love it all.
In the middle of my degree, I got a divorce. I had to use all of my savings to ensure full custody of my two little girls when their father decided to move out of state. I am thrilled to have my girls with me every day, but lawyers are expensive. The money I planned on using to finish my degree went to the custody hearings.
The financial realities of a divorce are harsh. I don’t have the space for one more student loan. I wish it were that easy. Instead, I am stuck right at the place where I can see the finish line. Can you help me get there?
All I would ask is that you help me finish my last semester, so that I may be an example for my daughters, students, and athletes, and complete the degree I have worked so hard for. This is me, showing these young ladies that nothing should stand in their way.
