Timeout in Review

Timeout

This week I downloaded  the third disciplining app of  10 iPhone apps that help with discipline, Timeout - Ultimate Discipline Tool.

This is a very simple and easy app to use.

As it is also not the ultimate disciplining route that we want to go, this won't be used very much in our household.

It is only as a very last last last resort!


Steps to use the disciplining app:

1. Select the time that time-out should last. Usually a minute for each year of age of the child. Press the button "Start". (I don't think it should be more than that?)

2. The next screen is the one on top of this post.
The time starts ticking off with the car going forward. The settings can be changed here, and the time added on. (Although, I don't think we should go that route!)

3. As soon as the car reaches the end, and the time has clicked off to 0:00, it goes to the third and final screen on the app.

4. A smiley face with the sound of cheers!


> I think this will help Mom and Dad, more than the children, to keep to the required time-out time, and not to keep the children in suspense.

>> It will help to redirect negative energy. The mere fact that we change the scenery for a few minutes with the help of an app that gives a "cheer" at the end!

>>> 4 minutes (the time I will use for my toddler of 4) is a very long time when you look at it.
It is more than enough time to break the spiralling negativeness.

>>> I paid $0.99 (R7,99) for this, which is very reasonable.


I give this app a rating of  6/10 for the cute car driving forward, and for the cheering when time-out has been completed!



Related post:

10 iPhone apps that help with discipline

KidChart - disciplining app number 2 under investigation

KidChart

I downloaded KidChart, the second of 10 iPhone apps that help with discipline.
I have to download the apps on my iPad, since I don't have an iPhone, but it seems to work just as well!

- KidChart is a very simple and easy app to use on the go!

- As a parent who like a more positive parenting approach, I would only try to focus on the smiley face, but the user could use it both ways.

- I like the fact that you can add behaviours as you go along.

- The app generated a very nice certificate which I like, attached with the specifics in a next view.

- You are able to share the accomplishments via email or Facebook.

- What I don't like is that you only get the wording when you share. Not the attached certificate. It would have given it an extra edge. It would also ensure that other people know where it is coming from. Now you only get an update with no explanation.

- You are also able to link it to DropBox, which helps to keep the accomplishments safe.

- It stores the "certificates" and "warnings" by date so that it is possible to reflect on it later. That gets a thumbs up from me!

I don't think I will use this app that much, but I will let you know in future when I change my mind.

I have send feedback to the developers about including the certificate with more information.

I give this app a rating of 5/10


Related posts:

- 10 iPhone apps that help with discipline

- Caught being Good - List

What to do with a strict teacher?

The Toddler is going to get a strict teacher the following year. I was hoping and planning that it would only happen when she was four, but the day care has decided to move her into the strict teacher’s class when she is three.

I am planning to move her to a new day care when it happens...

I have been so happy with the day care this year. I had some issues the previous year, with the Toddler getting hurt, and being in a class with only an assistant teacher.

They started this year in a new class! Only six of them, and I could see that it made a difference in the Toddler’s life. She started to sing and scrabble more at home! (Some more “lights” came on!)

During the holidays they moved her to a new class because it was felt that the six should be more up to date with the rest of the group. The reason is to integrate better next year. The Toddler is now with a group of about 15. She is extremely happy there!

The problem is the strict teacher next year!

From the beginning I said I would not let my child go to her. She screams at the children. She gives them hidings (although it is not allowed!). She has also said some pretty disturbing things to children, such as when we drop them off: “Your mother still loves you very much!” (WTF!)

She has told a friend’s girl that she makes the worst sketches in the world!

The day care owner is aware of this lady’s shortcomings. She told me that she has sent her home on a couple of occasions when she heard her screaming at the children. But she feels that this teacher is very good with keeping to the learning guidelines. She also spends lots of her time helping some of the children to catch up.

My question is: Do I allow my child to be subjected to this lady’s inability to control her own anger, and also her seemingly lack of insight into the child’s psyche? The other questions: Does learning take place in a place of hostility? Or should my child learn to handle different types of authority figures? Is it too soon to subject her to this at the age of three?

While writing this, it seems I have made up my own mind already...

What are your thoughts about strict teachers? Do some children handle it better than others?

Related post:
Day care woes and first report card

Adult tantrums

Now that I see The Tantrum on a fairly regular basis, I realize that there are most lots of adults who did not get a hold on them when they were young!

Don’t we all get the occasional tantrum when we

• “AAARGGG!”-scream

• Throw a book/cup/etc.

• Bang a door/desk/keyboard.

• Go into a raging monologue?

Is it possible to learn how to handle our emotions and to get a grip on that emotional outburst!
Of course, yes!

That’s why we have such a responsibility in the toddler years to teach our children how to handle that overflowing bursts of emotions.

I think that by trying to put a lid on it, we do not deal with it correctly. Putting a lid on it is when we punish the toddlers and prevent them from going through the whole process. Sometimes it is good to let them rage...
We should also try to teach them how to channel it. There are so many great articles available of strategies. Dionna at Code Name Mama wrote a great guest post at Good Goog about parenting strategies which sums it up for me! It is not about disciplining, but about loving and honouring the development phase in which the child finds himself at!

I am of the opinion that if we approach it in this way we will have less Tantrum Queens and Tantrum Kings around us!

What do you think? Do we go into emotional overdrive because we were not allowed to have those tantrums when we were young?




Related post:
How to survive the terrible tantrum

Disciplining the Naughties

I was reading HT’s blog post about her decision to do things differently with her girls from now on – to teach them respect for other people... We sometimes have to back-track, and do things differently with regards to parenting.


I have made a decision that I want to use a different parenting technique with regards to disciplining. The natural or attachment parenting way makes just so much more sense to me now that I am older. I want to reward and focus on the positive, and not punish by hitting or by any physical means.

But the old bad habits seem to seep in if we don’t check them. Whenever Mieka got hurt, I slapped or hit the “guilty” object: “Naughty chair!” She caught on very quickly, and were hitting as well. It is a technique, and it works short term...

“Naughty floor!” Slap-slap!

“Naughty table!” Slap-slap!

Dries remarked that it is actually not very nice, especially when she started to hit us as well!

“Naughty Papa!”

I had to conquer! It does not work when we try to instil a discipline where violence is not part of it, but we are hitting at stuff when it is “Naughty!”

It was not at all difficult to change everything to “Kissing”!

She hits her head: “Poor Mieka, let me kiss the head!”

Kisses showered! And it works magically, every time!

Scary! We have to be very vigilant with regards to our way of doing things. What else do I do “wrong”, or fall back into default mode? Retorical question to self! It needs to be answered every now and again.

What have you caught yourself doing “wrong” with regards to parenting?

Clicker training #8: Crazy, psycho dog got her certificate

The dog completed her clicker training, and got a diploma certificate awarded to her:

“This certifies that
Petite Peu
Has successfully completed

Puppy 2

And is hereby awarded this diploma by

The Eukanuba Puppy School

For extremely gifted pooches”

Yeah, right! ;-)

But I must give credit. I never thought we would be able to get her to do most of the things that we are now able to get her to do with treats.

The teen and the boyfriend took the dog through her last training, while we were watching. The dog was sitting and watching them intently (mostly because she knows there’s food involved – but that’s what it is all about), and did most of the commands very well. She did not respond at all when the teen only had to call out the commands without the hand signal. She gave them a blank look, and that was that... Very funny!

The trainer called her crazy and psycho dog, again.

We will not be going back for the advanced training. It is possible that she would be able to advance from where she is now. But we have had enough, for now! We want our Saturdays back to ourselves. We think we accomplished most what we set out to do. If only to understand our little bit of a dog a little bit better... She is a bit of crazy, but she is our bit of crazy!

I have learnt something about behaviour as well, which can be successfully used for the toddler as well. Catch them doing something well, and reward that. Ignore the rest!

Dog (owners) clicker training

The dog (actually us) got her first clicker training on Saturday. We thought she was unmanageable and it turns out she is very smart! We bought a Miniature Pinscher, but we got more of a Dachshund in the deal. The constant yapping is a good indication of the mix between the two breeds! Unfortunately you cannot give back a dog like you give back faulty equipment, so we are stuck with her. (And we love those big brown eyes too much in any case). But we had to make a plan to make her more pleasant to be around with…
She was spayed as well on Thursday, and when we got her back, she was the pleasurable dog we always wanted. Shame! It must have hurt, but we enjoyed her lying quietly with us on Thursday evening. Arnia even kept her in her room for the night, but by Friday morning she was her bouncy self again. (What other operations can we send her for? Smile)
I am very impressed with the clicker training. After 30 minutes Arnia got her to sit and to lie down. And we are seeing a remarkable change in her behaviour already! Not the all-over-the-place mad dog we were getting fed-up with! The secret is apparently to catch the dog doing the thing you want them to learn. The dog’s bum hits the ground; click-food. Now Petite Peu sits whenever she is around us. The promise of food works every time.
I was contemplating of incorporating the clicker training in my disciplining of Mieka as well. If it works for dogs, it will surely work for kids as well? Rather catch them doing positive things, than focusing on disciplining the negative…

Related post:

The dog