What have you done with our toddler?

The Terrible Two’s! What have you done to our formerly easy-going toddler?


You would think that the tantrum dance should be getting less when she is nearing the age of three. I’ve got NEWS!

NOT! It is getting worse!

Help!

The Toddler goes into a mode where she starts repeating and repeating and repeating (whining and whining and whining) … what she wants!

She does not stop.

She does not get distracted!

She does not respond to threats!

Time-out does not work!

Explaining does not work!

Yelling (I’m sorry to say!) does not work! (Bad bad parents!)

A light tap (I’m sorry to say!) on the nappy does not work! (Bad bad parents!)

The other night as an example: The Toddler was bathed and was ready for bed. She wanted juice, but juice in an open bottle so that she could pour it from into another cup! That is a definite mess waiting to happen… If it had happened earlier, it would have been negotiable! But she had been bathed and dressed for bed already!

She went to bed crying for that juice! She woke again at two in the night, again crying for that juice. In the end Dear Hubby had to go and fetch that juice and she drank it with a straw from the open bottle…
He had to do some negotiation before she was happy not being able to pour it from the bottle!

We now have a joke between us. When she goes into repeat-mode, we say “Push the reset button! Restore to factory settings!”
Then Hubby presses her on the back, and it makes her laugh for one second, before she continues with the whine…

She has not been feeling well the past week (Tuesday catch-up), and I hope that could have been the reason? (Please say it is so!)

The Terrible Two’s turns her into a whining monster!

(Photo by Dad)

Related posts:
The evening WHINE
Toddler meltdown in a public place

The evening WHINE

We don’t see that much of the famous toddler tantrum anymore, but something a bit more nerve-wracking has taken its place. The Whine! It is a refinement on the throw-on-the-floor tantrum!

Especially the evening whine! The worst of the worst kind of psychological manipulation.

“Anything, please tell us what you want! We will give it to you! Just stop the whining! Anything!” (Yes, sometimes we do!)

The Toddler is tired! She knows what she wants!

This! No, this! No matter what! Nothing is quite to her wants or specifications! And when something falls on the floor, it is total whine-mode! (I have even seen her drop the stuff on purpose... What's up with that?) Even if we tell her to just pick it up...

She does not let up!

It does not help when we are as tired as she is...

It is not the screeching tantrum that Lisa at Lady RubyRay is talking about, but it is relentless...

Please send a whole bucket of patience! 
What do you do with the whine?



Related post:
How to survive the terrible tantrum

Sunday night cupcake conundrum

Why do I always remember on a Sunday night of something that needs to be done or bought on a Monday morning? I totally forgot about buying (note: not making) those cupcakes for day care. They take turns in the classes to sell it to generate funds. I am sure the idea is for the mums to make to themselves... But I don't see anything wrong with Spar or Woolworths cupcakes. They are yummy as well, and my stress levels stay way down low...

When we went in search of the cupcakes, it turn out all the other mums have already done their cupcake shopping. I had to make do with bought muffins and my own homemade icing. The sprinkles really did the job, and Toddler helped me with putting it on. I think it looks really swell for a Sunday night fix! (I hope somebody like Shayne at Yummy Mummy Cupcake does not read this!)

It's the end of another weekend.We are missing the Teen who is now visiting my sister in London. It seems she is having a great time...

The Toddler kept us busy, and I was thinking tonight that they really teach you about resilience. If she wants something, she will keep at it. Again, and again, and again... "No!" does not have any effect. She wanted to play with a water spray toy, and although we kept telling her that it is evening already, she kept on asking. She did not get her wish, but we had to explain for over an hour that the sun has already gone to sleep...

The Toddler fell asleep in a shopping trolley and slept quite comfortably through most of the shopping trip to the mall on Saturday.

The Toddler was not impressed with the Easter Bunnies at the mall. I seems they are in the same untrustworthy league as the Red Beardy Man!

Good night, Weekend! It was a blink, but it was GRAND!

Related post:
Morning's first photo at day care #18 - Cupcakes

Toddler meltdown in a public place

We had an incident of toddler meltdown at a restaurant over the weekend. The Tantrum reared its ugly head when the Toddler wanted to hold a glass of ice; not happy with one ice cube only!

We tried to divert her attention, and made a few jokes. Luckily it did not last for too long.

When I looked at the photos again, I saw the bothered faces in the background.  Not impressed at all!




Related posts:
Adult tantrums
How to survive the terrible tantrum
Taking the toddler to places and the T-dance

Adult tantrums

Now that I see The Tantrum on a fairly regular basis, I realize that there are most lots of adults who did not get a hold on them when they were young!

Don’t we all get the occasional tantrum when we

• “AAARGGG!”-scream

• Throw a book/cup/etc.

• Bang a door/desk/keyboard.

• Go into a raging monologue?

Is it possible to learn how to handle our emotions and to get a grip on that emotional outburst!
Of course, yes!

That’s why we have such a responsibility in the toddler years to teach our children how to handle that overflowing bursts of emotions.

I think that by trying to put a lid on it, we do not deal with it correctly. Putting a lid on it is when we punish the toddlers and prevent them from going through the whole process. Sometimes it is good to let them rage...
We should also try to teach them how to channel it. There are so many great articles available of strategies. Dionna at Code Name Mama wrote a great guest post at Good Goog about parenting strategies which sums it up for me! It is not about disciplining, but about loving and honouring the development phase in which the child finds himself at!

I am of the opinion that if we approach it in this way we will have less Tantrum Queens and Tantrum Kings around us!

What do you think? Do we go into emotional overdrive because we were not allowed to have those tantrums when we were young?




Related post:
How to survive the terrible tantrum

The Toddler throws things

One would think that by now the Toddler would have stopped throwing things. Not so! It is one of her favourite pastimes!

I had a look on Google, and apparently it is not a strange phenomenon for our toddlers.
They throw stuff and food and everything! Still getting to grips with the gravity of earth, and also challenging their control over their world.

The most frustrating is when I am driving and the Toddler is in her car seat. She begs for a doll or a bottle which is just out of reach. I get it to her and warn her not to throw it again... Which of course she does immediately again! And then puts up a terrible toddler tantrum shriek!
That's when I start singing "Mamma trap die petrol..." (Mom step on the petrol...)

25 months

The Toddler is 25 months! Yesterday! We are really enjoying the person she is becoming, especially with her new vocabulary!
This week she asked: "Where's my Granddad?" She is used to seeing him every day when he is doing his rounds at the day care. When they told her he has gone home already she said: "NO!", and was very upset.
She can make a very skew mouth when things are not going her way. (See photo.)
Tantrums are the REAL DEAL nowadays! (This too will pass! This too will pass!)
She made her first NO 2 in the potty this week. It is only parents that get excited about something like this! (Sorry!)
25 months is a great age!

Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

How to survive the Terrible Tantrum

There’s a reason they call it the Terrible Two’s. I thought we’ve seen the worst, and we were handling it well. Not so! Missy Toddler turned Two, and with it came THE TANTRUM!

The ritual of THE TANTRUM:

1. The stomping feet, which increases the more she gets upset!
2. The unhappy forced wail!
3. The high high piercing pitching shriek which follows the wail!
4. She throws her body on the floor and/or crawls around on all fours!  (It is impossible to pick her up, because she just slithers through your arms.)
5. It lasts for a couple of more minutes.

NOTES TO SELF ON HOW TO SURVIVE IT:

• Ignore, and walk away. (There is nothing that douses a full-blown tantrum quicker than when there is nobody to appreciate it.)

• When you can’t walk away, drag her (if possibly), to a safe place to continue there with the tantrum. (It has the same effect as the previous point)

• Make a mental note of how funny it looks (although you don’t always see the funny at that moment), and think of how you are going to tell them about it when they are bigger! (Evil smile)(That video is also going to make a huge manipulation tool...)

• Try the distraction technique. Do not spend as much time on this technique. It does not work as well like when she was younger...

• Make yourself a cup of coffee/tea/WINE!

• Say to yourself: “This too will pass!”

• Chant to yourself, repeatedly “This too will pass!”

• When in a public place: 

            Put on your best calmest smile!
            Zone out!             Look people in the eye (Give them the “It’s her, not me!”-look)
            Act genuinely surprised at the people frowning at you!

How do you handle the Terrible T?


Related posts:
The shriek!
The T-dance - the toddler and tantrums

The two-year old's first day at the Zoo

Holiday at home does not feel like holiday (I have been complaining), but we did a bit of local Zoo visiting today. It felt good to get out of the house and to leave the DIY list that gets bigger and bigger... (Like Hubby hammering in some nails for pictures, and the hammer head fell off on the tile. Now the tile needs to be replaced! “sigh”)

The Johannesburg Zoo is a great place to take a kid. The toddler is two already. We could have taken her a lot sooner! She had a blast.

I remember how the cages used to look at the Zoo when I was a child. It was all steel cages with cement floors. I used to be quite depressed after a visit to the Zoo. A lot has changed since then. Thankfully! Most of the enclosures are replicates of the natural habitats of the animals. There are glass panels to look through and more open spaces for the animals! It does not look like steel cages anymore!

The toddler wanted to move non-stop, and did not appreciate us stopping for coffee or lunch.  The toddler tantrum is getting a bit much nowadays. Especially when in public! Horrors when she goes into high pitch mode and throws the tantrum on the floor. At home we ignore. But it is very difficult when it happens in a restaurant... I cannot proclaim anymore - with a smug shoulder shrug - that we don’t have it as bad! Just tonight I thought my head was going to explode because of the loud piercing shriek when I washed the toddler’s hair! Yes, the Terrible Twos has arrived!

We saw most of the animals, such as elephants, giraffes, lions, snakes, owls... Mieka was not impressed with the Max the Gorilla statue (see photo top right hand corner), but had no problem with the “live” animals. It rained near lunch-time; with thunder and lightning. But luckily there are a lot of trees. And when the sun came out, it was a scorcher again!

We got in some much need exercise as well, and in the end we had to cut some corners. Our feet were killing us! We will definitely need to go back to check out the animals we have missed!

(Photo: My first attempt at a collage with my new Photoshop software.  It’s not very user-friendly, is it?)