What to do on a Thursday night?

In surburbia? When Hubby is not here, and The Teen is on her forever tour… (It feels like that! Two weeks are very long!)


It is only me and the Toddler tonight! The case of when the cat is away… What to do?

No, Hubby, before you get concerned… I can’t wait for a quite night all on our own, just The Toddler and me. Being lazy and going to bed early… What is better than that?

Autumn has arrived with its cold spread of clouds, grey, wet and orange. I think we have had three days of this already, and the main topic of conversation is the weather on this side of the world. We are very one track minded, we South Africans! We are complaining already! I do hope it is not a very long winter this year! Three months are way too much…

Vegging out on the couch tonight does not sound like too bad of a deal with the weather!

What would you do on a night like tonight?

Off she goes...

The Teen is on a French Tour since Friday evening! I have had one sms from her since then! I presume she is having the best time of her life!

The rest I had some information from another mother... They had missed their connecting flight, but apparently that was not something big to complain about...

I had to wipe a few tears on Friday, to which the Teen was very surprised! Even the Toddler had a crying fit when she realised the Teen was leaving... For real! But The Teen was all smiles!

When I told The Teen that I am not going to sms her every day, because of the cost involved...What did she say. "Please not! Heaven forbid!"

*sigh* I am getting a mini exercise in how it feels when they go off into the big wide world?
It seems my job is done!

The French students on Friday at the airport

Related posts:
French Tour

Advice to a teen going on a Paris/London tour

It has finally arrived. The Teen is nearly on her way to Paris and London. The excitement has finally caught on, and we are super excited with her! It is going to be the best ever holiday!


As a mom I am a bit (a lot, actually!!) worried, and I am thinking of all the things I should tell/warn my daughter before she goes.

I got some advice on Tuesday’s post, as well as on Twitter:

Ronel (my sister):

• Don't spend all your time overseas in shops, but walk, walk, walk and see all the sights and don't wait for another time.
• Take lots of photos!
• Take time to chat with the locals.
• Hear the sounds and listen to the music.
• You can sleep when back home again.
• Enjoy!!

@Mauruschka:

• Don’t take a red rose flower from a young French guy or any person… they target people and then…just tell her not to take it (Apparently it is not urban legend, but reality. I had to ask.)
• When someone offers you a bracelet, say no, even if they offer it for free, say no!

My own advice:

• Be always aware of the surroundings, and do not go where it feels unsafe. Gut feelings should never be underestimated!
• Also to stay in groups, or in pairs! Always let someone know where you are.
• Do not try to buy stuff for everybody, but rather spend money on experiences and places to see. Buy something special for yourself!

A colleague's suggestion:

•  Do not drink too much cooldrink/bubbly (hope not!) in the plane, but rather stay with water. It helps against jet-lag!

I hope we’ve got it covered?

My best wishes are going with you, Arnia, and we will miss you!

Love, Mom!

The Tuesday after a long weekend

The feeling you have after you have been woken from a very good dream and you don’t want to open your eyes… That is the feeling I have today after a great weekend! We had an extra public holiday yesterday.


There is nothing that feels as good as when you know you don’t have to get up early on Monday morning! Not even Friday evenings can be as good as a Sunday without a Monday…

The rainy season is not yet over on this side of the world, but we saw some lovely sun this weekend as well. It was great staying at home. We only did the Gautrain trip, and spend some time searching for patio sets… Unfortunately our taste does not fit our “patio”, and I think we will wait until we have the bigger “palace”! Always nice dreaming, though… (wink smile)

Hubby put up a permanent gazebo, and thoroughly enjoyed braaiing (barbeque) outside! I want to die and go to lazing-in-the-sun-and-braai-and-red-wine-heaven! No singing in the choir for me, thanks! This is much better!

The Teen had her own busy life to attend to this weekend. How do you know you have a Teen in your life? When her door is closed when she is there, and it is open when she is not! But it is not as bad as it seems! Really! (tongue-in-cheek)

But I was beginning to think about the French tour that is just around the corner, and how we are going to miss her. Up until now we have been stressing about getting everything done, but now I am going to stress about letting her go… Already working on a couple of speeches in my head before she goes!

What advice should I give the Teen about going overseas?

A GPS for my head as well, please!

I am one of those who cannot find my inner compass, I don’t have one, and it is not something that you can learn to do. I always walk/drive in the wrong direction. Although I know it, I still convince myself that it is the right direction.

I even got lost with my new all-time favourite present, my Garmin Nuvi, last week. Hubby gave it to me on Valentine’s Day, and it is sure the most thoughtful present ever... Me and Auntie Garmin bond every day while I try out new routes on my way to work.  The traffic is extremely bad at the moment! I launch myself into the suburbs, while Auntie Garmin recalculates and tries to get me back on the main route. Sometimes it works, and sometimes, like last week, I realize that I have strayed too far...

But it sure is very nice to just follow the voice! Auntie Garmin directed us to Sandton City today when the Teen and I had to go and submit her visa application. She got us there without a hitch! It was another story altogether finding the offices in that huge Mall. At one stage a guard had us up on the roof to show us where the building was where we should go. Not that it really helped. The Teen also do not have a compass. But between us we got there somehow...  (*sigh of relief!*)

I need that GPS for my head as well, please!

The last visa application is in; now only 11 days before the French Tour! Thumbs crossed!

Morning's first photo at day care #15 - You woke me!

The Toddler really wanted to keep on sleeping this morning! (So did we!)

She woke up at 22:30 last night and was not impressed with Mom not coming to her side immediately. Dad had to take over because Mom was busy helping the Teen to get that online visum form completed. In the end we gave up and saved the "stupid" (I want to use more stronger words here) form for tonight. We really have to spill our guts for these forms! I am being tramatized by the details we have to give! (I hate forms! I hate forms!)

I don't think I want to ever go overseas now! The forms is getting to me!

The Toddler was all bright-eyed by then, and in the end was giving me a full run-down of my bathing experience. She was standing right next to my bath, and telling me how to wash what! She only got settled again when all the lights where down, and we were passed out on the bed at 23:45!

No mystery the lady was not impressed with waking up today.
But she did give me a a little blurry smile when asked for it this morning!
No, it was you that was blurry with that shot, Mom!
YAWN...

Grade 12 – the stress is getting to me!

The last year of school is a lot harder than I can remember... It definitely feels a lot more stressful going through it with The Teen than when I was in high school.

We did not worry about good grades as much as they do now. The grades are being submitted to the universities already! So much decisions and choices have to be made this year! And is it going to be the right ones?

Maybe because I know that in years later we question ourselves about our careers choices later one in life? The choice of higher learning institutions also seems to be a huge headache.  I knew where I wanted to go, and went! Now it is not as easy as that... We have to verify the standards of the different institutions as well!

Then there is the French tour that’s finally just around the corner... I am going to be just as relieved when The Teen finally steps on that plane. So many things to do yet before that happen...

And I feel sorry for The Teen who comes home and has to sit with tons of homework at night and weekends. The photo was taken with The Toddler also doing some “homework” with The Teen in her room on Saturday. She was there for at least an hour, which is quite a feat for our Toddler! Our hardworking Teen seems to have an impact on the Little One!

Mother is stressing big time!

The year has gone swoooosh!

Arnia and the BF, Stian

I asked the teen to write me something of the past year, and her expectations of the following year.

The year has gone swoooosh!

This year I did grade 11 (standard 9) and what a year it was from projects to tests to hockey to keeping up a social life and having a bf.

Next year I will be doing Matric, the big and final year, but I still feel like a little kid and quite frankly I am scared of stepping up to the plate of being part of the eldest of the school.

A few highlights of this year:

• We were at Umdloti, Durban, while the 2010 Soccer World Cup was on T.V.
•  My boyfriend and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary and it was great.
•  I played hockey and met a lot of new people and also got to rediscover old friends.
•  My baby sister has crept so deep in my heart and I would do anything for her, even give up my afternoon naps.

A few highlights waiting for next year:

• I am going on my long awaited French tour and afterward I am going to visit my aunt in London.
• Every girl dreams about this day: The Prom Night! (I am already collecting photos for possible dresses)

I realized the other day that I still feel very young almost like a 12 year old that is still discovering the world and next year this time I will be thinking of university.

That’s a scary thought!                

Related posts:
The secret lives of teens 
Stressful teen years 
Teen in love

Shadow waiters at Spur

The French students

The things you do for fundraisers! The teen and the French tour of the French class next is year is becoming more of a reality. The first payment needs to be made, and the budget is tight! And the tour gets more expensive it seems as the bookings are being made…

We organized a fundraiser with a local Spur (steak ranch) in our area. The French students had to shadow with the waiter, and they got 10% of the proceeds of the evening. Some got nice tips as well… I can recommend it to anyone. No stressing about selling of tickets before the time like we did with the Barnyard fundraiser earlier.

The students had a great time. They had a new experience as well learning about working in a restaurant. The teen’s waiter told us that she is a quick learner, and that she did very well for her first evening as a waiter.

The toddler kept us busy because she discovered the play area, and Dad especially had to follow that pointy finger! She was awake until nine when we left, but slept the minute the car was moving! Which is of course a very nice bonus for any evening!

The parents enjoyed the whole evening as well! We had a lovely meal and could catch up with friends again…

What do you recommend doing for a fundraiser that does not involve too much stress?

Passport headaches

The passport for the teen for the French tour next year. It turns out to be a big headache.


A signature is needed by the dad for his permission for the children to get passports. We got the signature! He signed the form a while ago. Nowhere on the form or on the website does it states that the dad (both parents) needs to be present when going to Home Affairs.

The teen and I went to Home Affairs on Thursday. No, they said! The dad needs to come as well! Oh, brother! The teen is seventeen, and by July next year she won’t have to ask him anything. But the French tour is in April already.

Now, the big question. Should the teen engage with him although she knows he is going to use it as big time leverage? Should she just plain ask him, but no further contact? He could say NO! A “normal dad” would have had no problem with stuff like this. But then, a “normal dad” would still have been in her life…

My divorce settlement states that I have “control and custody”, but unfortunately to them there should have been a word in there of “sole” or “only”. It is the first time that this seems to be a “problem”. Up until now I have made all the decisions with regards the teen.

I do understand the rules with regards passports, but I think there should be some special circumstances that need to be considered. We do not want to give up on her hopes...

(Photo: Arnia at Cedar Lodge in Krugersdorp over the weekend)

Fundraiser – things we learnt

The things you do for your children… Phew! The D-Day for the Fundraiser for the French tour of the French class at school finally happened on Friday. It was nail-biting and worrisome because we (Yvonne, the children and me) were fretting about getting in enough money to pay for the venue and show. Super Troupers, at the Barnyard at Cresta Mall in Johannesburg. Not even about starting to begin raising money for that French tour…


But we made it, and could pay back our due money last Tuesday already. And we made some money extra for the girls as well. We have declared it a success! But never again! You hear!

From now on my head will shake “NO!” when confronted with any misguided attempt of responsibility towards the school.

The things you learn when trying to raise money:

• There are lots of very nice people who really try to support you. Some people even gave us donations when they couldn’t make it on the evening.


• It took a lot of organizing between two of us to keep the ball rolling. I think it could have become too complicated when other become involved as well.


• The children help a lot with fundraising. Involve them!


• It helps to organize a fundraiser around a show and venue. We only worried about getting the tickets sold.


• Posters and flyers do not bring in the sales. It is your own network of friends that’s worth the most when trying to get a venue full.


• There are mean people out there. We got constant competition from a teacher at the school who organized the same type of event with the same show. We announced a long time before him what and when we were planning to do our fundraiser. (Very strange!)


• That same teacher made a lot of promises, but never followed through. (Why?)

We are very relieved, and very glad about the money raised. The children have a bit more in their banking accounts. It will be able to cover the visas, al least. Every bit helps!

Thanks to everybody who supported us!

The things you do for your children

I have found myself in strange situations because of my child(ren). I am not the baking/sewing kind of mom, but I have found myself at school in a kitchen helping out with food. Or washing large stacks of table cloths and ironing it. For the school! And afterwards always swearing never to say yes again...


I’ve done it again. The teen wants to go on that French tour next year. Another friend’s mom, Yvonne, and I decided that we should organise something to raise some funds. Now we are organising a fundraising event in two week’s time. And we are seriously worrying about getting all the seats sold to be able to pay back the hosting company. Why, oh why, don’t we learn?

Note to self: when toddler comes home with letters from the school to tick, or with open spaces to put my name in... Don’t do it! Take a deep breath. Let the guilt (parents are supposed to help out at school-guilt) pass! I don’t have to say yes to all, especially since I am a working mom.

We thought it was a good idea to identify a venue and show. I still think it is... Not the extra worries of organising and setting up a venue, or having to pay for the entertainment. We only have to worry about selling the tickets. Now we find it is hard enough to sell all the tickets.

Barnyard Theatre at Cresta Mall in Johannesburg is currently running Super Troupers, a musical show of Abba, the Bee Gees and the 70s. What are you doing the 17th of September? Please support us!

Funny weekend stuff

The Toddler

When she gets hold of a tissue, she goes into “one-track” mode and does not stop cleaning her nose, mouth, the table, floor…. Any-Thing! With the same tissue!

She found the perfect place for the potty. On her head! (Luckily a brand new one…)

She skipped her Sunday morning nap, and could not keep her eyes open when lunch was served.

The Finger she reserves for the dog. (We feel guilty; we scold the dog too much, it seems!)

The Teen

The Teen had her own funny story. She got a phone call from a shop in the nearby mall last week. She had handed in a couple of resumes for weekend and holiday work. She blames the bad cell phone signal, but she pitched up at the wrong shop on Saturday. There is a difference between a Gospel shop (which she thought phoned her) and a toy shop. Luckily the toy shop phoned her and asked her if she was still coming, to which she could reply “I am in the Mall already!” Now she is a casual over weekends, and that bank account is growing for the French tour of next year… (Sigh of relief!)