She got the Superhero Cape!

We attended the graduation ceremony of The Student yesterday! She finally got the graduation cape and the hat, and she got her few seconds to shine on the stage!

It was a proud mom-moment, because it feels like we have achieved something as well!

I know I did not do any of the hard work, or worked through the nights, or helped her with any of the studies. (Only a little bit of research some times from my side...)

But we made it possible for her to study. (Cha-ching!! and I am only starting to work back the bursary...) There were times that we said we did not know how we are going to do it, but our focus will be on the completion of the studies. She also knew there was no do-over available! This was it!

And she did it!

I am very proud of her, and so glad that she has something to show for her hard work.
The speaker spoke about the importance of time yesterday: "The importance of a year is so much more appreciated by a student who has to re-do that one year!..."

The wonderful time at university she is having now, is coming to an end at the end of the year. I hope and I know that she is making the best of it! (So glad she is enjoying it!)

It was only the other day I complained about the initiation practices, and in the meantime they have abolished most of it!
We had some pep talks along the way to keep her going, and she also learnt valuable life lessons while studying.

But here we are! She is busy with a post-graduate diploma, and busy thinking about the next stages of life already!

And we are left with the question: "How did it get here so quickly!"

Well done, my girl!
Love you!

More superhero poses can be found here: Wordless Wednesday #259 - Superhero poses #graduation 

Catch-22 of a student loan

The Student and I was at the bank this week to try to get a student loan...

What a joke! I could have said "process", but it really feels like baring your underpants, and then after the scrutiny you are left without that same said underpants!

It takes ages for the "process" to complete...
And then you don't have a guarantee they are going to approve the loan.

There were two bank employees going through all our documents, and we still did not have the "right" documents! All the university documents should have a date stamp of 2015, although The Student has a letter of approval for her post-graduate diploma. Apparently we also lacked some more documents from the university, which she would not be able to get at this time in the year...

The bank wants proof of registration from the university! Which we don't have!
(That's what we are trying to get at the bank: Registration fees!)
They will only pay the student loan as soon as the registration is done!

But: The University wants proof of payment of the registration fees!
Or else they wont register her!

A Catch-22!


We gave up on getting a student loan at the bank! It was a very degrading process!
It just does not make sense to try to get a student loan from them.

No, today I will not stand up!

The students are protesting today about change at the North West University. They are doing it under the banner of  "Sal jy opstaan?" #saljyopstaan (Will you stand up?)

I personally won't be standing up today!

As a parent I am extremely grateful that they are finally doing something at the university.

I was appalled at the initiation practices three years back when my daughter started there as a first year. I could not believe that the same initiation practices that we were subjected to in 1985 were still being practices at a higher education institution. I complained at that stage, but was told that it is not initiation! Orientation is not the same as initiation.
This was/is initiation!
I felt like we had failed our children by allowing them to be subjected to this!

Change is a difficult thing, but it is definitely needed in this case!

I wanted my daughter to study at an institution where they are focused on learning and developing a well-rounded person, but in the first year (and even after that), they were subjected to bully behaviour where they are required to conform to the norm, or being forced out of their residences.

I am also glad to hear that other changes about the language and the culture will be instituted!
You can't keep on living in a bubble!


I am glad that the next generation of students won't be subjected to this!
Thanks North West University!


I know I am not going to be popular by saying this!
But as a parent I have to!

Related posts:

- Initiation still ongoing at university

- Initiation update - as sick as a dog!

Initiation still ongoing at university

Time for the Soap Box:

Each year I hope that they would finally see the light and that they would stop with the practices of initiation at university...

But each year the previous year's first year students are allowed to go off on and bully their fellow students. They are allowed to scare their fellow students shit-less and they are allowed to take a superior stance over the junior students coming into the establishment.

I have heard that it is not as bad at certain institutions, but I have seen and heard again that it is exactly the same our  Student experienced two years ago. I felt at that stage that I had failed my daughter for sending her to this establishment.

I saw on Saturday groups of people dressed in the same clothes. It did not look enjoyable at all jumping after a ball. I heard no laughing. They were just going through the motions!

This group below was walking in groups of three's, holding hands, with seniors walking behind, with a big red emergency bag at her side. Maybe it is good that there is an emergency bag, but what it say that there is a necessity for an emergency bag?

When we walked past a group of juniors, there was this muffled greetings from each of them. Poor girls. They are forced to greet all the seniors with titles.

Yesterday evening the senior had to dress and paint their faces in ugly scary white, red and black and there was a lot of shouting and screaming. This is a tradition apparently to introduce the seniors to the juniors. The poor juniors can't even recognise the seniors with their war paint, and they are targeted when they are really tired already.

It is bullying and abuse!

It is not necessary! 

It does not say a whole lot about us as a society! 

Why can't the juniors be welcomed in a happy stress-free environment?

Why do they have to be bullied into submission?

I don't understand it! At all! 

Harlem Shake - The Student needs your views, please

She's the one with the orange shirt and green skirt on the left, with the medical overcoat :D

University initiation - How long should it last?

Initiation at university. 

We became aware this year of how prevalent it still is in our higher institutions of education. 

I felt in the beginning of the year that I had failed my child for allowing her to have to go through this type of treatment to have a place to stay while studying.

The worst. The initiation has still not ended. It is nearly end of the year, and the exams are around the corner. 

They are still being subjected to initiation practices. They have not been discharged from the practices, although all the rest of the residences have finished with these practices in August or earlier. 

My thoughts are that it should not happen at all, but at least that it should not be allowed to take as long as this. 

As far as I know the University has a policy that says that it should end at the end of August!

I think it is just a formal nod to bullies to continue with their bullying behaviour! 

The practice of initiation creates bullies! 

I am really not impressed! Every time my daughter thinks this is the evening that they are going to be discharged and that the practise would end...

Holding thumbs that it will be the end this weekend! 

I am sorry, my girl!

How long should it last, do you think?

(Photo taken last night)

Related posts:

This year of First Years can make a difference - initiation

Initiation update - as sick as a dog

"This is not initiation!"

Have we failed our children? - Initiation

Orientation seems a lot like initiation

“THIS IS NOT INITIATION!"

I was so excited to start the next stage of my life: UNIVERSITY.

My parents and my boyfriend helped me to move in.
I tried to gulp down my tears when they left, but failed miserably.

When all the parents were gone; the House Committee told us to go and stand in the recreational room and be quiet. They left the room and only returned 10 minutes later. When they returned, they started to close all the rooms and blinds. All I could remember of that moment was that it felt like the bad cop interrogation style. The room was dark and suddenly they started yelling at us.

They yelled things like: “You are useless!” “You don’t belong here!” “You are not worthy of this hostel”

The screaming went on for days. We had to learn millions of songs and ‘traditions’ at the speed of light. We had to march in rows EVERYWHERE! All the girls had to wear the same clothes and have the same hairstyles, because we are a unity, you know.

We had a busy program everyday from 5am till 12pm every day, but after that it wasn’t bedtime. Oh no, then we had to create and revise songs for some important person on campus. Oh wait, we also had to make cards for every House Committee member for the mornings (WHY, I ask you! #pointless!!!!!!!!!!!)

Just when things started to get better, we heard that the seniors were coming and they wanted revenge. They wanted revenge, because we “took” their friends’ places in the residence.

OMW! Never in my life was I so scared as I was that evening of seniors’ meeting. We came back from activities and near the residence we heard chains clanking on the metal bars.
Painted faces screaming: “We want blood! We want blood!”

As we went inside, the seniors came down from all the floors and stood around us. They screamed so loud. They shouted that they hate us and we are nothing. My ears hurt for days after.

I live on floor 6. The seniors on that floor are reported as being the meanest and scariest! They taught us to greet our floor, the bear, the tree, every senior and second year. All in ONE night!

Every time we got it wrong they screamed our ears off of our heads! I was too scared to go to the loo! I was too scared to go shower. I was too scared for anything. No wait, I wasn’t scared of those things... I was afraid of the nasty, screaming, bitchy seniors!

The House Committee and seniors never even once told us that we did something right. They just wanted to scar our humanity!

I started getting very sick and the HC didn’t give a damn. When my mom called and DEMANDED that I get medical help, they said to the whole group that we must toughen up and stop being sissies.
I was finally allowed to go to the doctor. I had influenza and throat infection. The doctor was furious that the HC didn’t allow me to get medical attention sooner. She told me that I couldn’t be part of anymore activities and that I should go home.

My mom made a complaint to the campus rector about their actions.
His reply was simply that initiation doesn’t exist...


Related posts:

- Have we failed our children? - initiation 

- Initiation update - as sick as a dog

Wordless Wednesday #114 - University of Johannesburg Rag procession

(Photos from cell while we were stuck in traffic on Saturday 4 Feb 2012 - unable to pass Beyers Naude Drive before the whole procession had passed!)

Have we failed our children? - Initiation

To take them to higher institutions of learning that still carry on with the age-old initiation practices of bullying and emotional abuse?

I have to tell my first year that it is not as bad as it seems, although I despised the practices years ago when I was subjected to it.

The bullying stays the same!

I feel that I have failed my child!

I have entrusted my child to be taken care of in a residence where they are subjected to violent practices I would never have done to my own child.

Now apparently I have given “permission” for seniors who are only two to three years older to subject my daughter to tyranny!

They call it “Ontvangs- en Bekendstelling” (Welcome & Introduction), but it’s far from the truth!

• She is afraid to walk in her own residence because of the verbal abuse they are subjected to when encountering a senior or House Committee (HC) member.
• She is afraid to go to the toilet!
• She does not get enough sleep, and that has been the case for two weeks now.
• After they have finished with them - subjected them to all kinds of abusive rituals – they have to “prepare stuff” for the following day. Usually after 12 at night!
• They are forced to look down when encountering a senior, but they have to know all of the senior’s names (without looking at them)!
• They are forced to address the entire senior corps as Sir or Miss.
• I have to look at status updates such as “Hate this place!”; “Hate this! I am so over this crap!”; “No sleep for me tonight!”; “Do not want to go to the residence!”
• She said they were told that they would be in big trouble if they complain!
• They are not allowed to go anywhere without permission, and they are kept busy 24/7 with stuff such as “flowers” folding for the upcoming Rag on Saturday.

This is definitely not orientation, but initiation!

It doesn’t help to tell me that one day she will look back and laugh at this! 

This is not how a society should treat its “first year’s”!

Why can’t all the parents stand up and say “enough is enough”?

We don’t want our children subjected to this!

Instead we are scared to become a lone voice for fear of our child being victimized!

I am so sorry, my child!

I have thought we have moved past this!

This is happening at NWU Potchefstroom at the residences.

Judging by Twitter and the newspapers it is happening at other universities as well…

We have not evolved at all!

Related post:
Orientation seems a lot like initiation

Orientation seems a lot like initiation

I would have been mad from anger and bitterness if they had phoned me from university to tell me that my child had died at university. Even before he had started with his studies...

They call it orientation, but the same old practices that we had been subjected to, are still being practised in higher institutions!

I thought we had moved on?
Apparently not!

The same barbaric rituals of name-calling, uniforming and belittling takes place again.
Today!

I don't know how it is possible for a student to die in a swimming pool where there were 3000 people and nobody saw hom dying? Nobody missed him until later...

But I do know that it is practices of initiation that makes them shy to come forward to be picked upon.
Would he have said that he could not swim?
And then face some dire consequences?

I have always seen the people that do the initiation practices as going on power trips, as well as having insecurity issues!
I my days I could not stand any of the responsible people of the House Committee who screamed at us, and made us afraid to move around...

My own daughter was still afraid on Sunday to move on her own floor in her residence in case she has to face a HC member... A week after the "orientation" started!

They are starting a new life, in new surroundings, and without their family members.
The trauma is increased exponentially when as soon as the parents leave they are being subjected to all sorts of rituals...

I am just venting!

Yes, sure! We had to go through it!
But is it really necessary?

I think it is barbaric and a sign of a lower evolved species!
When are we going to wake up and treat our fellow human beings with respect?
Even those who are younger and less experienced than us?

My thoughts go to the parents who have lost their child!
It seems we are still "dying for an education" here in South Africa!

One of the news articles:
http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/Student-drowns-during-orientation-at-NWU-20120122

Varsity, here I come!

Benji, the dog, with "tertiary aspirations"?

The student in our midst is like a wound-up jack-in-the-box!
I took a day's leave to sort out her list of things-to-buy... (Ouch!)

I bullied this short piece out of her. (Thanks, girl!)
It is great to see so much excitement about starting a new chapter in her life.

I am done with my school career and now my new chapter starts!

I am going to study BA Communication. It has everything to do with journalism to radio personalities to diplomats, you name it!

I want to do book editing when I’m done studying, but I’m also considering journalism.

I have written for my school newspaper and I enjoyed it so much! I’m also gonna try and write for the university newspaper.

I am in the residence which I fell in love with. 

My roommate looks like a very nice girl. She also plays netball and does track running.   

The colour of our residence is red and black, which I think is super awesome!! Colours like brown, orange and yellow is a NO GO, when it comes to uniform. I had those three colours as my primary school uniform...very bad!!

University is going to be very fun, but also a lot of work.

I will make a success of this! 

Wish me luck!

In search of higher education

Next year seems very far away, but when you want to continue your studies past Grade 12 you need to register YESTERDAY already. The registrations have opened in March and places are filling up...

We went to an Open ay at the Potchefstroom University on Saturday. Everything is available on campus. The residences are close by and it seems very safe, especially for the young ladies! I was at first not very keen on the university because it is one and half hours drive away, but it seems that the institutions nearby does not offer us the same options.

The Teen wants to continue her studies in communication with a keen interest in book editing. It seems they have a very good degree in Communication as well as specialization areas. The problem is that they only select 100 people in a year to start with the course! We will definitely have to apply to other universities as well. (Sigh!)  She has to prepare a whole portfolio to be accepted here! (Standards are high.)

We only went through one of the residences, and the Teen has voted it as her favourite to go to next year! (They have the option of three.)

I was struck by the fact that the young people have three or four years more of being in a safe and secluded bubble! A couple of more years of being young and carefree... What a wonderful opportunity! It made me wish I was young again, and with all the limitless opportunity ahead of me... Well, nearly! But I had my four years of university life as well! Which I enjoyed thoroughly!

I am holding thumbs that The Teen gets to have the best time of her life while preparing for a career! And I am holding thumbs that she gets a place here!

Related post:
Grade 12 - the stress is getting to me