Have we failed our children? - Initiation

To take them to higher institutions of learning that still carry on with the age-old initiation practices of bullying and emotional abuse?

I have to tell my first year that it is not as bad as it seems, although I despised the practices years ago when I was subjected to it.

The bullying stays the same!

I feel that I have failed my child!

I have entrusted my child to be taken care of in a residence where they are subjected to violent practices I would never have done to my own child.

Now apparently I have given “permission” for seniors who are only two to three years older to subject my daughter to tyranny!

They call it “Ontvangs- en Bekendstelling” (Welcome & Introduction), but it’s far from the truth!

• She is afraid to walk in her own residence because of the verbal abuse they are subjected to when encountering a senior or House Committee (HC) member.
• She is afraid to go to the toilet!
• She does not get enough sleep, and that has been the case for two weeks now.
• After they have finished with them - subjected them to all kinds of abusive rituals – they have to “prepare stuff” for the following day. Usually after 12 at night!
• They are forced to look down when encountering a senior, but they have to know all of the senior’s names (without looking at them)!
• They are forced to address the entire senior corps as Sir or Miss.
• I have to look at status updates such as “Hate this place!”; “Hate this! I am so over this crap!”; “No sleep for me tonight!”; “Do not want to go to the residence!”
• She said they were told that they would be in big trouble if they complain!
• They are not allowed to go anywhere without permission, and they are kept busy 24/7 with stuff such as “flowers” folding for the upcoming Rag on Saturday.

This is definitely not orientation, but initiation!

It doesn’t help to tell me that one day she will look back and laugh at this! 

This is not how a society should treat its “first year’s”!

Why can’t all the parents stand up and say “enough is enough”?

We don’t want our children subjected to this!

Instead we are scared to become a lone voice for fear of our child being victimized!

I am so sorry, my child!

I have thought we have moved past this!

This is happening at NWU Potchefstroom at the residences.

Judging by Twitter and the newspapers it is happening at other universities as well…

We have not evolved at all!

Related post:
Orientation seems a lot like initiation

A weekend of opposites

- We had to say goodbye to our student who was bouncing ball of readiness for her new life at varsity.

- The same day we had to encourage her to not see it "as the end of the world"!
   (Orientation, which includes initiation practices, are very much alive at university!)

- I had to suppress a few tears. My daughter is finally moving on!

- I had to smile at her exuberance!

- I am feeling a bit apprehensive and sorry for her, wondering if she would be able to cope with the verbal abuse?

- She got a warning for not remembering a senior's name! Three warnings gets you kicked out... Which made her very upset!

- We are saying that it's all bluff (and had a secret smile about it)!

- I am so excited about her being able to study and enter a new phase.

- My daughter don't know if she will be able to cope with the next three weeks!

- I told her that she would definitely be able to cope with it. She is very strong.
She "survived" her dad with his emotional games! She can do it!


I don't understand why you have to "break" someone to build them up again?
I also hated initiation in my days at varsity, but I thought it was a thing of the past?

You will be okay, my girl! I know you will!


Related post: 
Varsity, here I come!