Bum up and go the same as dealing with DV

I do not get bored with status updates about how many kilometres you have done, or how many press-ups you have done.

I get insanely, green, dark-green, purple jealous!!!

Because I know how pleased you are and should be about yourself!
And how much good you have packed into that exercise.

Meanwhile, back at the Bum in the chair, I am Slump-Sister!
And not feeling good at all about myself!

It struck me today that not exercising is the same as being stuck in domestic violence.

You are the only person that can change the situation!

- You can complain until your hair falls out and your toes turn orange. It will not change the situation.

- You can feel sorry for yourself. You can cry. It will not change the situation.

- You can tell the priest, the psychologist, your family and friends about your bum deal. It will not change the situation!

- You can stay! It will not change the situation!

How to deal with domestic violence:

- You need to make the ultimatums!
- You have to act if things does not change.
- You have to get out of there! 

Of course it is not easy, but is it possible.
Staying there is also a decision!

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So, I lifted my bum today:

20 minutes of rolling hills on level 3 gave me 7 kilometres.
100 arm exercises (don't know what you call it), and 30 sit-ups!

Better than staying on my chair during lunch-time!

The haunting of words

Today, as in most other days, I have been thinking about a "brave" woman who has had to go in hiding for the safety of her children.
"Brave" because she doesn't have another option but to be brave!

And she has been writing!
Haunting words of beauty and of shock and of finding herself!

Of having to go through a series of excisions, of being a dead woman, and being silenced.
But she found her voice again, even going to the media to tell her story.

A story of finding violence in her own home. A story of finding that her partner was not the person she thought he was. A story from violence to healing.

I am just appalled that a person who threatens the safety of his wife and children are allowed to walk free in the streets. Even two years after the violence and the 18000 pornographic images have been discovered on his computer. The divorce had gone through in the meantime and joint custody has been awarded to them.

She had to take her children and run...

This is not a third world country we are talking about. It is in America. Where the laws and the justice system are supposed to be better?

You can read her ongoing story on Wanderlust!

Thinking of you, Kristin!

Also with the knowing that there are so many woman without a voice, who have been fighting on their own for the safety of their precious children..

10-year Celebrations

I was reading Yvonne’s blog, about her husband’s infidelity and divorce, when the realization hit me that it’s been 10 years for me as well. On the 29th of August 1999 I walked out of our house with just a few of me and my daughter’s belongings. I was walking out of a marriage where emotional manipulation of a husband who was not working was part of the daily routine. It was a scary time with X (cancelled one) threatening to kill us, and me having to get interdicts against him. We had to hide, and I had to make sure my daughter was safe. Two weeks later when I went to fetch my stuff, X prevented me from taking it. At that stage it was very traumatic to lose everything, but later on I could describe it as one of the most liberating things of my life.
Today it’s 10 years later, and it feels to me as if I am telling stories about a previous life, one from which I reincarnated from.
I remember putting a smile on my face whenever the X came into the room. I was not feeling like smiling at that stage, because usually we were financially cash-strapped with X not working, but I did not want to provoke him. X also showed me his gun after he had put on a silencer. Why do you put a silencer on a gun when you want to shoot at thieves? X also demanded 100% undivided attention, and complained when I watched television or did the washing. I coped by getting into a mode of asking X if I could do the washing or whatever. And in the meantime X was at home, but not contributing financially or doing anything about the daily chores. The things you do for peace…
My daughter came to the same conclusion last year that she did not want to see X as well. It was after X grabbed his current wife by the neck in a fight. I heard in counseling that she also had to ask her dad for permission to go to the toilet or to do her homework. She was on edge the whole time to please X, and he also demanded her undivided attention. She even got a hiding – at 15 years of age - just after she had her appendix taken out for not giving X attention. (X told her that was the reason).

And now, I am married to a wonderful husband, who is working and doing his share at home as well. The ultimate 21st century man! We have been married for 5 years already, we have a beautiful baby daughter together and we have a teenage daughter which brings us great joy! Now my only trials and tribulations are contributed to not sleeping because of the baby, and trying to cope with the loss of grey matter (Brain bubble).
Just now, I had to go and order a new company card. Between last night when I left the building with the card, and this morning when I was responsible for a car queue in the parking area, I had lost the card. And the card was supposed to stay in the car. The mind boggles what I could have done with it…