Changing her mind

The Toddler changes her mind constantly!
It is a given!

She doesn’t want to eat her food, but when asked if we can give it to the dogs, we get an emphatic “NO!”

She gives us the exact opposite of what we ask of her.

“No!”

(Wait for it....wait for it...)

“Yes!”

The question usually takes a while to register, and normal toddler-response is a “No!”

Do you want to play with the ball?

“No!”
...
“I want to play with the ball!” (Whine!-voice)



We can use it to our advantage. (Sly grin)

We plant the seed of the required action by asking her a question.

The “No!” follows.

It helps to sell it a bit more, and then leave it and wait for her to respond otherwise!
(It really works!)
 

Sometimes it takes a bit longer. Sometimes it takes months for her to change her mind...

The Toddler now wants to wash her hair every day. And she wants to lie down on her back in the bath.
Before it was a struggle for months to get her to wash her hair, and she used to complain bitterly!
We don’t know what made her change her mind, but we are grateful for every small gesture that makes it easier on all of us...


Ah, what is the good of a mind...?

Wordless Wednesday #61 - Toddler with kitty shower cap

(Cell phone photo by her sister)

Seemingly unsupported fears in toddlers

The past two weeks have been a bit of a struggle with regards bath time. The toddler says each time it is “warm” which mean too hot! It is impossible that we make it too hot, because we have a small temperature meter that we use.

She used to love her bath time, and we are always very careful not to use the word “bath” if we are not ready to go and bath her. Because she starts climbing the stairs as soon as we announce it’s time for her bath...

Not now! All of a sudden she is afraid it is going to be too hot, and she doesn’t want to get into the bath. When I put her in, she doesn’t want to sit down. And washing of hair has become a big screaming session!

I tried to take it very slow tonight. I made sure the temperature of the water was even beneath the correct temperature reading. It was a cold bath! And I put in some bubbles.

I let her stand, and focused on the bubbles and toy boats being covered by the bubbles. She was still upset with me when I washed her hair, but enjoyed the bubbles. In the end she was sitting in the bath, not wanting to get out...

It reminded me again of how easy it is - on me and on her - when I try to address her fears in a natural way, and not forcing her to sit down in a bath when she doesn’t want to... I could have screamed at her, or I could have given her a hiding for not wanting to bath. But not I nor she had to get upset at each other. I much rather prefer this way of parenting!

Fears that toddlers/children have, may seem unreasonable to us, but it must have some foundation. Rather address the fears in a natural and non-confrontational manner, than not acknowledging them at all...

Creature of habit

The toddler is a creature of habit. She learns to do something, and she wants to do it the same way again and again.

The sleep routine is one of the most important for us if we want an uneventful evening. Of course, also if we want some SLEEP!

Sleep routine:
Bath time is at 7pm. When we announce bath-time, she says “bye” and starts climbing the stairs. I have learnt not to say anything about bathing when I am not ready. Or there is drama!
We undress her in her room, and she wants to take her dirty clothes herself to the washing basket. She has to throw in the clothes herself. Every-time!
She helps with putting on the cream we wash her with. 
She plays with the boats and other toys.
She “brushes” her teeth.
I have to dry her while she lies on her stomach and I rub her back in massage-like movements. Whenever I try to dry her while holding her on my lap, she complains.
Sleep at 8pm. When we announce bed-time, she immediately starts to say goodnight. Dad AND the dog gets kisses and a hug as well.
We “read” two books which she has selected, and she closes it herself. “Klaar!” is her declaration that she has finished reading.
She breastfeeds until she falls asleep!
As long as we keep to the “recipe” of 1-2-3 all is well in Toddlerville!

Other quirky habits:
- The toddler drinks her bottle while lying in her doughnut. The doughnut is the doughnut shaped floor mattress which has lost most of its sponges and does not look as “healthy” as it once was. But the toddler wants to drink her bottle in the thing. Every-time!

- Whenever she sees any one of us near the kitchen zinc she wants to help “wash” the dishes. We have to explain time and again every night we are not washing dishes right that moment... Until we wash it, and she happily “helps” us by pouring water from the tap into bottles until it overflows.
Habits are a very important part of how the toddler takes control of her life! We have to smile at some of the habits she insists on doing every time! I love the way we all accommodate these little behaviours. It is sooo precious!