I by no means want to lessen the feelings or the validity of the depressed! I believe depression to be one of the most life-sucking diseases there is!
The fact is that the people surrounding that person cannot do much to ease the suffering of the person. They cannot lift him up. They cannot kick him into his senses! They cannot tell him to shake it off! They are totally helpless! It is a depressing situation to be in! For the people surrounding that person!
The depressed person goes into a vortex of black hopelessness. If you are not careful, you get sucked into it as well!
I remember feeling as hopeless as the depression! I was becoming depressed myself. I went to a psychologist to ask how to handle the situation. She suggested medication, but I felt that it did not address the problem, but the symptoms of the problem...
The only other option she gave me was to run on a treadmill to get rid of my anger. Anger - that was what my emotions turned into! Anger that could not be vented! Because poor little depressed person! He cannot deal with it! He cannot work because of it! He cannot be blamed! Because it is the Depression!
You can imagine my feelings about “Depression”! Insert a couple of expletives here!!
I remember running and running on that treadmill! Somehow it did not work! The depression and all of it symptoms stuck with us!
In the end I had to get rid of the “problem”. I had to change “my” life! I could not change somebody else’s life! I had to get out of the situation! I had to save “me”!
That’s why I still feel much more sympathy towards the people impacted by the depressed person!
But I have the utmost of respect for the depressed person who works with his depression, and who wants to get better! The person who do not want to stay in the dark cauldrons of his mind, but who reach out for help!
It is one of the hardest things to do! To work with self! I salute you!
(Photo: Montecasino Bird Gardens)
I agree with your post. Last year after heart surgery my Dad went into a bout of deep depression. As I work on a contract basis it was left to me to be on suicide watch, drive him to the doctor and listen to his rants about how he no longer wanted to be here. I ended up in such a bad place that it nearly cost me my marriage. Thankfully he is fine now but that period when they have no hope destroys others. I am glad you where able to walk away from your problem.
ReplyDeleteI understand alot of what you are saying!!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking last night that I really dont "get" depressed people. I understand it is an illness etc etc but I cant fully grasped the whole thing :(
It is a hard illness to deal with!
Right now, I am in those shoes of living w/someone who refuses help... but, I am getting help w/coping w/this situation... I have asked friends if maybe I did or did not do something right in raising this person? and naturally everyone says, that I am that person who is caught up in this situation because I am the one living w/it... I was told the only solution was to sell my home (which I do not want to do) and move away w/out this person.. and you know that is easier said than done..
ReplyDeleteOy! I realise that I can deal with situational depression...but clinical depression...no way! It is a good thing that you could get out and save yourself.
ReplyDeleteI also feel sorry for depressed people and those living with them...but if you don't TALK you go down...and I don't think you wanna go down! You are actually your won worst enemy, so we cant be friends with ourselves, we need other people to talk to;) except if you have a 'multiple personality disorder'..but those people need help too!! Anyway, just don't get depressed!!!!
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