Thursday, 1 October 2009

Cancelled psychopath

I listened yesterday to a radio program about anti-social personality disorders, and saw my X (the cancelled one) fit perfectly into all of the characteristics of a psychopath. The parasitic lifestyle, failure to accept responsibility and lack of emotional intelligence are just a few of the characteristics they spoke about. I was speaking to Debbie (my mother’s sister), who also listened to the program, who voiced her concern about Arnia and his impact on her. Debbie also does not want Arnia to feel guilty about her decision. Luckily Arnia made the choice a few months back to limit her access to him. She had made a list which she read to him the previous year. That was after he grabbed his present wife around the neck in a violent outburst. The list asked him to go for therapy for conflict handling, to be a dad to her, and to give her space to be able to see her friends. She also did not want to feel on edge when she is in his presence. I try to limit my access to toxic people as far as possible, and that’s why I try to help Arnia to feel safe in her dealings with her dad. I will never force her to see him, and because I have first-hand experience of his manipulative behaviour, I try to point to the negative characteristics. She has made a very adult decision already at 15 years of age, and I am proud of her. It is such a blessing to be in a safe and loving relationship where there is peace! Thank you, Dries, for making it possible a second time around.

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely right not to force Arnia to go. I have the same attitude with my children, although our X is not as bad as yours! She must keep her list and review it if he tries to make her feel bad. At the end of the day - HE is making a choice to ignore her request.

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